


All the things you do to me

by sssssssim



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-08 12:25:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 79,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14105346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sssssssim/pseuds/sssssssim
Summary: Kylo Ren lands on the new Resistance base the morning after Leia dies. He brings an astromech with some personality issues, enough First Order intel to assure its destruction, and a new trial for Rey to endure. She tries not to fall in love with him, she really does. But he's making it very difficult.This isThe unbelievable story of Sunshine and Darth Boy, a story that plays in the background of the war between the First Order and the Resistance, a story accompanied by a weird assortment of people, a couple of very cute droids, it is a story of life or death battles and a story of acceptance. But most off all, this is a story about two very different people falling in love with each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> YOU KNOW SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN WHEN YOU'D NEED A READ MORE BREAK IN THE INTRO NOTES
> 
> You guys are going to love me and hate me, with this fic. There's fluff and humor, there's angst and frustration, there's cuteness and blood. There's gratuitous smut, but it's a slow, very slow, glacial slow burn till you get to it. It's already written, though, so updates will be constant-ish. 
> 
> I was planning this to be a short and fluffy oneshot. Two months later, it had turned into an ~80k words monster. Yes. You read that right. You're in for a wild ride, let me tell you, cause there's some slapdash plot, and I read the two novelisations as I was writing this, but there are things that I've ignored/forgot/was too lazy to change and there are stuff I have no idea where they came from, and OCs and tropes and it's just a complicated monster.
> 
> I like it, tho. It's fun. I almost never cried while writing it!
> 
> I have to give a huge thanks to [@sanziene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanziene/pseuds/Sanziene), who not only is the reason I've fallen into this reylo whole, but she's also why this fic didn't kill me six times over. There are bits of her throughout this, stuff she wanted, stuff she made me think of, stuff she thinks of, stuff we laugh and cry over. So thanks, babe. I love you and hate you.
> 
> I'm going to stop babbling, now. Enjoy this, please! Let me know what you think, point out what mistakes I've made, grab some tea and get ready for the ride, cause it's going to be a wild one.

 

Fifty four days had passed since what was left of the Resistance left Crait, and things couldn’t have been more different.

Their first move was to find a place to hide and regroup. The planet they settled on was tiny and uninhabited, at the edge of the Outer Rim, but, like Crait, had a long since forgotten Rebel outpost. The sky had two suns and three moons, the temperature was moderate, there was fresh water directed to the base from a nearby river, there was an abundance of edible animals and fruits and everyone was doing their best to make it work. It wasn’t much, but it was more than sufficient. There were so few of them, they didn’t even manage to fill a quarter of the base.

That didn’t last long. One by one, allies arrived, Leia’s second distress call finally being answered. People came, fighters with ships filled with supplies, bringing a new hope to them all.

Rey saw it all around her, every day. There was a change in morale, but more than that, there was energy. People wanted to fight, and while that was something she came in contact with since she met the Resistance, it was stronger now. More passionate, more energetic, the wish to burn the First Order down to the ground, once and for all.

She didn’t feel it. She wanted to, she wanted it terribly, to be able to hate the First Order as much as she should have, to want to burn it into oblivion, to be willing to die for it to happen.

But destruction of the First Order meant the destruction of Ben Solo, and that was something she couldn’t be a part of. Not anymore.

She had hurt him, already. But she also _saw him_ , underneath the rage and hatred. Rey saw Ben Solo underneath Kylo Ren’s mask and she knew that even if he was the Supreme Leader now, even if the First Order were merciless in their efforts to track down the Resistance, she knew Ben was still there.

They haven’t connected since she closed the Falcon hatch. Rey didn’t know if it was her doing or his, but every time she felt a pang of longing, buried deep inside of her chest, she froze it as quickly as she could.

She wanted to talk to him again, but she was afraid of it, afraid of what she would find. If her betrayal facilitated the return of Kylo Ren in full force, then the pain and guilt would be unbearable. If there was still Ben Solo underneath the Supreme Leader mask, that meant he still, continuously, chose not to join her which, once again, was a pain she wasn’t fond of.

So Rey distracted herself. She trained with her staff, she trained with Poe and any other man or woman willing to teach her how to fight hand to hand, she meditated as Luke taught her, she tried to fix his broken lightsaber. She worked on repairing the ships, she picked up fruits and helped in the kitchen, she washed dishes and bedspreads, she washed floors and desks and chairs and she tried her very best not to think about Ben Solo and Kylo Ren.

/∆\

And then Leia got sick.

From the moment Rey saw her in the infirmary, asleep in a bed, connected to machines and surrounded by tubes, she couldn’t think of anything else. Leia. Han. Ben. Luke.

_Leia. Han. Ben. Luke._

Over and over in her head, there was nothing else. There was a constant, cold pain in her chest, and a family on her mind.

She worked harder, trying to distract herself again, but she failed. Every day, every hour, every moment, she thought of them. Every memory she had of each of them, things that happened, things she wished had happened, things that will never happen, they plagued her mind every second of every waking hour.

At night, she only dreamt of Ben. A small boy, playing with his father on the Falcon, running towards his mother’s arms. A young boy, training with Master Luke. The dreams started out differently, but they always ended the same, with Kylo Ren’s lightsaber piercing young Ben’s chest.

Rey was very glad the base was large enough that she had her own room, because she woke up screaming more often than not.

Finn kept telling her she looked sick. Rose kept arguing that Rey was running herself exhausted.

There was nothing else she could do.

/∆\

One moment, Rey was in the training room, sparring with Poe, the next she was on the floor, surrounded by broken wood, and Leia was gone.

Rey had felt it, not a disturbance in the Force, but a massive earthquake threatening the destruction of all things. The pain she felt in her chest was excruciating, unlike anything she had ever felt before, worse than having Kylo Ren search inside of her head, worse than Unkar Plutt not giving her rations for three days, worse than seeing Han Solo die before her eyes, and it kept getting worse and worse and worse. She screamed and, unable to control herself, she shattered every unliving object in her vicinity.

When she came back to herself, her throat felt raw, there were tears running down her face and Finn had just barged in, telling Poe that Leia died in her sleep.

Later, as she’d cry by the woman’s bedside, Rey would realize that the pain she felt, it wasn’t all hers.

It was _his_.

/∆\

Rey didn’t sleep that night, no matter how much her friends begged her to. She sat with Leia, holding her hand and stroking her unmoving face.

In a desperate attempt of having something, anything that felt even remotely right, she tried to contact Ben. She tried her hardest, until her hands were shaking and her head hurt, she did everything she could think of to open up their bond.

When she realized it was a futile attempt, she started crying, and didn’t stop until the sun came up and a frantic BB-8 came to find her.

/∆\

There was a First Order transporter ship heading straight for the base. It wasn’t responding to their hails and it wasn’t stopping.

Dread pulled in Rey’s stomach, as she ran through the base. But there was a thought, in the very back of her head, something ridiculous and impossible that she was too afraid to even acknowledge.

 _Kylo knows?_ , the droid beeped at her.

‘Yes, I think he does.’

BB-8 didn’t use any words as a response, but it made a very mournful sound, that Rey had come to learn meant _sad_. She ran faster.

As they got to the hangar, Rey wasn’t surprised with the amount of armed people pooled around the transporter, but she still made her way to the very front, where Poe and Finn were.

Just as she got to their side, she felt something, a flicker of something familiar. There was no more doubt, Ben was on the ship. She gasped, making everyone turn to look at her.

‘Don’t shoot.’, Rey said as strongly as she could. ‘Don’t shoot, he’s alone.’

‘He?’, Poe shrieked. ‘He who?’

It was BB-8 that answered, when Rey couldn’t. But the droid, it didn’t say _Kylo Ren_ , nor did it say _Ben Solo_ , it said _Leia’s son._

When Poe translated for everyone, repeating the words in disbelief, the ramp of the ship started lowering.

‘Don’t shoot.’, Rey said again, pointedly elbowing Poe in the ribs.

He repeated the order, but made no move to lower his blaster.

When Ben came down the ramp, he held his head high. He was wearing all black, but no cloak, and the clothes were scorched and burned in various places. His hair was a mess, there were dark circles under his eyes and soot marks on his face and neck. He held his lightsaber, unignited, in one of his hands, the other one clenched in a tight fist.

Inexplicably, a droid rolled itself down the ramp and stopped right behind Ben’s feet, hiding. It was a BB unit, painted black and with the upper dome squared, a newer model that BB-8 was.

 _Many not friends_ , it beeped loudly, making Ben close his eyes in clear annoyance.

When he opened them, they settled on Rey, for the first time in over two months. Their connection was still closed off, but she didn’t need it anymore, she saw everything written clearly in his eyes. Regret, guilt, but most of all, fear.

‘What are you doing?’, she whispered shakily.

Poe armed his blaster. ‘How did you know where to find us?’

He didn’t look away from Rey. ‘It’s complicated.’

‘Uncomplicate it, then.’, Poe all but growled.

Ben turned his eyes on him. ‘I will explain that later, but you can calm down, you have no information leaks.’

It didn’t calm the other man down. ‘What are you doing here?’

Ben took a deep breath, his eyes skipping to Rey for a long moment, but he did address Poe directly.

‘The droid has in it everything I had access to in the First Order databases. Records, numbers, accounts, suppliers, sympathizers. Locations, fighting patterns. Ideology.’

Poe’s jaw dropped.

 _All, I have them!_ , the droid beeped proudly.

Ben rolled his eyes. ‘It also has a slight personality problem.’

The droid made an affronted sound, going as far as kicking Ben in the leg and calling him a _nasty butt_. He just sighed.

‘What the hell is going on?’, Finn all but exploded.

Ben didn’t look at him, turning around and looking down to his droid. He ordered a simple ‘Go!’, but the droid shook its dome in clear denial, saying _I’m scared_ a few times.

‘They’re not going to hurt you, BB-9.’, Ben sighed. ‘They’re nice people who like taking care of their droids.’

 _Promise?_ , the little ball pushed its way until it rested its dome against Ben’s legs.

He turned to look at Rey, raising an eyebrow.

She snapped out of it. ‘Sure, BB-9, we take good care of our droids. Isn’t that right, BB-8?’

That made BB-8 make its way over to the other droid, beeping too quickly for Rey to follow. BB-9 was quick to join the conversation, and for a while, the two droids were beeping over each other, running circles around Ben’s legs. It was absolutely ridiculous and everyone was too shocked to say anything.

Finally, BB-8 stopped and made its way to Poe’s side, explaining to him that the other droid did, in fact, have all the data Ben mentioned and a lot more, and that it was safe, its connection to the First Order servers having been cut off.

Poe stared at Ben.

‘This is a surrender.’, he said slowly. ‘Unfortunately, it’s just my surrender. Hux is now in charge of the First Order, I barely got out alive. I just…’, he faltered, for the first time since he landed, looking away from Poe. ‘I just request that before you lock me up, you let me say goodbye to my mother.’

‘You don’t deserve that.’, came Poe’s quick response.

‘I don’t.’, Ben nodded. ‘But she does.’

‘She died last night.’, Poe went on.

‘I know.’

Poe, for reasons unknown, turned to look at Rey.

‘Is that why you left the First Order?’, Finn asked with venom in his tone.

‘Partly.’, Ben looked to the other man, but didn’t explain.

He took a step forward, which made everyone arm their blasters. Thankfully, he stopped, locking eyes with Rey as he lifted his hand, holding the lightsaber in his palm, extending it to her. Wordlessly, she used the Force to bring it to her hands.

Ben then turned towards Poe, extending his hands in front of his body, pressed together at the wrists. Clearly, he was waiting to be handcuffed.

Poe snorted. ‘Like any restraints are going to work on you. You could kill us all with a flick of the wrist.’

Ben turned to look at Rey, again. He let out a breath, very slowly, and their connection flared up, surprisingly strong, even after such a long time.

It wasn’t much and it was chaotic, images of him running through a base as he’s chased by blaster shots, of him screaming in the middle of a filled council room, of BB-9 beeping excitedly at him. And then, there was a rush of feelings, strong and just as chaotic, as Ben usually was.

Rey opened her eyes, not realizing she closed them in the first place. Ben was staring at her, as intently as he did in a hut on Ahch-To.

‘Poe’, Rey started, ‘we can trust him. He’s not… here on a ploy of the First Order, or whatever you’re thinking. He’s here to help us.’

‘Did he just brainwash you?’, Poe deadpanned.

She glared at him. ‘It’s complicated, and we’ll explain later.’, her eyes skipped to all the gathered audience.

Poe sighed. ‘I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.’

‘Trust me, then.’, Rey didn’t hesitate.

Poe said nothing for a long while, eyes skipping between Rey and Ben.

‘You’re actually debating this?’, Finn hissed, going as far as punching Poe, somewhat gently, in the shoulder.

The other man still didn’t answer, opting to turn around and look at all the people gathered. All the while, Ben and Rey were locked in an unbreakable look. The bond was still closed, but she understood a lot of things in that short time.

He was exhausted, possibly injured. He wanted to grieve his mother’s passing, but didn’t think he deserved the luxury of doing it. He felt guilty, over the things he had done, he felt ashamed of every mistake. He felt afraid, of what the Resistance will do to him, now that Leia wasn’t in charge anymore.

He felt excitement, at seeing Rey again, even if her refusal still pained him and even if he was afraid of what she will do to him now.

‘Rey’, Poe’s voice startled her, ‘you and Finn, you’re with me. Supreme Leader’, his tone dripped sarcasm, ‘hands where I can see them.’

Wordlessly, Ben nodded once and started walking in front of Poe. Just as Rey and Finn were moving to follow them, there was a terrified sound heard from near the transporter.

‘Come on, BB-9.’, Rey said without turning around. ‘You’re with us, too.’

There was a whirlwind of beeps, some of them excited, some terrified, but the droid made its way to his master’s side. Ben didn’t trip on it, but it was a close call.

Rey couldn’t help but smile.

Everything hurt and her world was in shambles, but at least the data Ben brought gave them a fighting chance. And at least he was within reach.

/∆\

Poe took them straight to the room where Leia was.

As soon as Ben’s eyes landed on her, they didn’t move. He did not say anything, he didn’t even order BB-9 to shut up when it started beeping sadly. Rey was the one to make the room quiet, throwing Finn and Poe a look when they were about to start whispering.

Ben didn’t hesitate for long. He went straight to Leia’s bed, kneeling down next to it, grabbing her hand in both of his. He stayed like that for a while, but slowly, he leaned his forehead against the hand he was holding. His breathing was ragged, but there were no tears on his face.

That showed immense strength, to Rey, considering she had started crying again the second she saw Leia. It couldn’t have been real. So she tried to open up their bond, but once again, he didn’t let her. Ben’s head twitched when she tried, like he wanted to turn to look at her but decided against it.

When Poe wasn’t looking at Ben, he was looking at Rey. Finn did not take his eyes off Ben and really, Rey was finding it hard to, as well. Nobody said anything.

After a while, Ben took a deep breath. He kissed his mother’s forehead with a gentleness that didn’t surprise Rey, but clearly knocked the socks off Finn and Poe. Even though his eyes landed on Rey as soon as he straightened up, they quickly moved to Poe.

‘Thank you.’, he sounded painfully sincere.

‘Don’t mention it.’, Poe deadpanned. ‘Really, don’t ever mention it, I have a reputation to maintain.’

There was just the slightest tilt to Ben’s mouth, and neither Poe nor Finn noticed it, but Rey did. She wasn’t the only one.

 _You smiled_ , BB-9 chippered in an excited tone.

‘Shut up, ball.’, Ben grumbled.

 _But I’m your ball_ , came the prompt response.

Rey could not stop the laugh that came over her. She was still crying, tears for Leia, for Han, for Luke and for Ben, but BB-9’s sweet tone, combined with the dramatic eye roll Ben threw its way, it made her laugh.

She had forgotten she was capable of laughing.

/∆\

Poe led them through the base in a seemingly irrational pattern. But he picked things up on the way, sheets, a blanket and a pillow, clothes and protein bars, a bottle of water, disinfectant pads and bacta cream. He made Ben carry them all, which he did without complain.

Finally, they reached a part of the base that was not populated yet, on the last upper level. Rey had cleaned some of the rooms the day before, and Poe directed them to the farthest one out. It was exactly as all the other sleeping quarters of the base, a small bed, a desk, a chair, a fresher in the corner. This room had a window above the bed, facing one of the suns at this early time of day.

Poe sat down on the chair, Finn leaned against the door, Rey sat herself up on the table, leaving Ben standing awkwardly next to the bed.

‘Go wash up’, Poe ordered, ‘with the door open.’

He did so, and Rey was quick to close her eyes when Ben started taking off his tunic.

‘Really, Rey?’, Finn drawled out.

Without opening her eyes, she made a rude gesture that made Poe snort and Finn roll his eyes, probably. She heard the water turning on, and a low hiss. Ben must have had more burns on his body than she thought.

‘Are we really doing this?’, Finn whispered, anger still present.

‘Yeah, but we’re gonna be smart about it.’, Poe countered.

 _Smart is pretty_ , BB-9 beeped happily, startling a snort out of Rey.

‘It sure is, buddy.’, Poe answered weekly.

Ben finished with his shower quickly enough, and Rey opened her eyes only after Finn gave her the go ahead.

She winced. Ben had put on a pair of pants, but no shirt. His body was splattered in burn marks. They weren’t that bad, but they still must have hurt. He quickly ran the disinfectant wipes over them, wincing with every swipe, applied bacta cream and covered them with gauze, for good measure.

When he was done, Rey wordlessly grabbed the supplies from his hands and started working on his back, which was also covered in burns. She was afraid to touch him, afraid of a repeat of the visions on Ahch-To, but thankfully, nothing happened. He was stiff as a plank through all her ministrations.

‘What about your legs?’, she asked when she was done.

Ben just shook his head. ‘Thank you, Rey.’

She didn’t answer, but she did grab the shirt still laying on the bed and extended it to him with a pointed look. It made him smirk, a little, and that made Poe huff out an annoyed sigh.

‘Okay.’, he said loudly. ‘Let’s start from the beginning. Rey?’

That startled her and Ben both. Poe leveled her with a look.

‘I’m not an idiot. I know that something happened with you two, between Ahch-To and Crait, and I know that what you said in your report was bullshit.’

‘What did you say in your report?’, Ben asked with a spark of amusement, sitting down on the bed.

She glared at him. ‘A lot of bullshit.’

Rey sighed, making her way back to the desk and sitting on it.

‘It didn’t start on Ahch-To. It started the first moment I touched Luke’s lightsaber, on Maz’s planet. That was the first time I saw him.’

‘Like a vision?’, Poe frowned.

Rey nodded. ‘The connection we had, we couldn’t control it, when it happened. But it kept getting stronger. We talked for the first time when I was on Ahch-To, yes, and…’, she faltered.

‘And whatever you talked about’, Poe was speaking in a very controlled straight tone, ‘made you get into a pod and ship yourself straight to Snoke’s ship.’

‘Yes.’

‘And you killed Snoke.’, Finn said quickly.

She shook her head.

‘Ben delivered me to Snoke, but then he saved me. He killed Snoke. We fought the Praetorian Guards together.’

When she didn’t go on, Poe gently tapped on her knee. ‘Then what happened?’

She couldn’t find the strength to look at Ben, then, so she looked resolutely at where Poe’s hand was still on her knee.

‘I wanted Ben to come back with me. He wanted me to stay. Neither of us could be swayed.’

‘Okay.’, Poe said after a very lengthy pause. ‘Your turn, Darth Boy. What happened next?’

Ben didn’t address the stupid nickname, but he did glare strongly at Poe.

 _He got me! Me me me me!_ , BB-9 beeped excitedly, rolling until it was settled between Ben’s legs. He didn’t push the droid away.

‘Yeah, about that.’, Poe frowned. ‘How did you end up stealing a broken droid?’

BB-9 made an affronted sound.

‘Sorry, buddy.’, Poe winced. ‘You’re not broken, you’re perfect. I just meant by First Order standards.’

The droid settled, saying _I’ll allow it_.

‘Because of the flaw in its programming’, Ben started, ‘the technicians were going to scrap it. I kept it as a… companion, instead, and nobody was any wiser. They took BB-9 off the grid and didn’t bother to check it again.’

‘Were you planning it then?’, Poe frowned. ‘You got BB-9 right after Snoke’s death, did you-’

‘Do you think I copied all that data in a minute, while I was running for my life?’, Ben bristled. ‘Of course not. BB-9 has been stealing the data, little by little, in untraceable bundles, every day from then since now. And, honestly, I didn’t get everything. I was planning to, but…’

He looked away.

‘But Leia died.’, Finn said slowly. ‘And you decided to run?’

 ‘No, I had to run. Staying longer, it wasn’t an option.’, Ben said a bit shakily, not continuing.

‘He felt Leia die.’, Rey said gently.

‘Like you did?’, Poe’s head turned, sharply, to her.

She shook her head. ‘That wasn’t me screaming.’

Of course, her statement made Ben’s eyes snap to her. He must not have realized it at the time, that their connection was open and that everything he was feeling was pouring into her.

‘How deeply does this connection of yours really go?’, Poe asked, highly suspicious.

Nobody answered him.

‘I was in a meeting with all the First Order generals.’, Ben didn’t look away from Rey. ‘I couldn’t control myself, I yelled and I broke everything in the room, while screaming for my mother. Of course, they took that as-’

‘Treason?’, Finn raised an eyebrow.

Ben nodded. ‘Hux placed the kill order right then and there. I grabbed BB-9 and ran.’

 _Fire_ , it beeped lowly. _Fire everywhere_.

‘I may have set fire to the base in my wake.’, Ben winced.

‘And to yourself.’, Rey couldn’t help but point out.

He shrugged, like it didn’t matter.

‘Why did you bring a transporter?’, Finn asked.

‘Figured the Resistance might need it.’, Ben shrugged, again. ‘And it’s harder to track than an X-Wing.’

‘But _how_ did you know where to come?’, Poe asked kind of pointedly.

Of course, Ben looked to Rey. She had figured as much, that he followed her.

‘I don’t understand.’, she admitted. ‘Our connection was closed since Crait.’

‘Not exactly closed.’, Ben said gently. ‘I figured how to block you out and I-’, he shook his head. ‘I didn’t let myself seek you out. But when I did look for you, I followed you straight to here.’

‘What changed?’, she couldn’t keep quiet anymore. ‘When we fought for Luke’s lightsaber, you didn’t want this. _Let the past die, kill it if you have to. The Sith, the Rebels, the Jedi_. And now you claim to have planned your treachery of the First Order since the moment you woke up? You were trying to kill Master Skywalker and-’

‘No.’, he cut her off. ‘I started planning my escape since Han’s dice disappeared from my hand and you closed the Falcon’s hatch.’

Rey frowned. ‘Han’s dice?’

‘Luke gave them to Leia, on Crait.’, Poe explained. ‘Except that he wasn’t really there, so the dice weren’t either.’

‘They’re still on the Falcon.’, Rey said gently, unable to look away from Ben.

‘I regret every mistake I made.’, he told her, painfully sincere. ‘But you… Not following you, I regretted it instantly.’

She couldn’t even begin to think of answering him. To distract herself from Ben’s intense gaze, she turned to Poe.

‘You don’t trust him.’, she could read it clearly on his face.

He laughed, a tortured sound. ‘How could I, Rey? We… We were doing so well. Gaining numbers, allies and ships and _hope_. We had another chance at fighting back and then he comes along, with these magical plans to destroy the First Order-’

‘It won’t be that easy.’, Ben said as Rey said ‘They’re not magical.’

Poe rolled his eyes, looking to her afterwards. ‘It’s too good to be true.’

‘So we’re going to be smart about it.’, she was scrambling for ideas, quickly. ‘We’ll take a computer off the grid, wipe it completely. When BB-9 downloads the data, it won’t have access to Resistance information.’

 _Smart lady_ , BB-9 beeped sweetly.

‘And what do we do about him?’, Finn glared at Ben.

‘Everybody on this base hates you, in one way or another.’, Poe told him, unkindly. ‘Most people want you dead, me included.’

‘I know’, Ben’s smile was cold.

‘We have no means of containing you.’, Poe went on, frustrated.

Rey put a hand on his shoulder. ‘If he wanted us dead, we’d all be burning in flames by now.’

‘See, you trust him not to hurt us.’, Poe raised an eyebrow at her. ‘I don’t have the luxury of doing that. So.’, he turned to Ben. ‘You’ll stay here, for now. With guards outside the door, and you’ll only leave this room if I personally ask for you.’

‘That’s more than fair.’, Ben nodded. ‘I honestly expected a blaster shot to the back of my head.’

BB-9 wailed in distress.

‘It was a joke.’, Ben sighed, exasperated, but he did put his hands on the droid, managing to calm it down.

‘Since when do you joke?’, Rey found herself saying.

Ben’s eyes narrowed at her. ‘You don’t know quite _everything_ about me.’

‘Should I be worried?’, Poe kind of yelled, interrupting whatever she was going to say.

‘Worried about what?’, Rey frowned.

‘You and him.’

She froze at that. Ben awkwardly cleared his throat, but Rey didn’t turn to look at him.

‘I think we can learn more about our connection.’, she told Poe. ‘Learn how to control it, its boundaries. You don’t need to worry about that.’

Finn snorted. ‘Even you don’t believe what you just said.’

It was true, but Rey kept her mouth shut and her eyes as far away from Ben as she could.

Poe got up and left without another word, Finn following him out. Rey moved to leave, too, but Ben said her name very gently, making her stop.

‘You have my word that I won’t get into your mind without your consent.’

‘You can really control this?’

‘It’s not easy, it takes concentration.’, Ben nodded. ‘But it is achievable.’

She tilted her head. ‘Would you teach me?’

There was a spark in his eyes. ‘If you wish.’

Rey nodded. ‘Get some rest, you need it.’

She left, but only after he nodded.

 _Bye, lady friend_ , BB-9 beeped after her. Rey loved the droid already.

/∆\

After the sleepless night she had, Rey managed to fall asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She woke up a few hours later, stomach rumbling in protest of being empty, so she headed straight for the mess hall.

‘BB-9 is downloading the data now.’, Finn informed her as soon as she sat down at their usual table. ‘It’s also talking BB-8’s ears off, they’re best friends, apparently.’

Rey couldn’t help but coo out loud, but it was alright because Rose joined her, as Finn rolled his eyes at them.

‘Where’s Poe?’, Rey asked, because it was sort of a tradition by now, the four of them taking the time to eat lunch together, no matter how busy they were.

‘Having lunch with Darth Boy.’

Rey thought about arguing with Finn against the nickname, but she didn’t think he’d take it well.

‘So Poe’s interrogating Ben.’, Rey interpreted. ‘Has he been there all day?’

‘No.’, Rose shook her head. ‘He wanted to, but I convinced Poe to let him sleep.’

‘Thank you for that. Ben’s no use to us exhausted.’

‘That’s what I thought.’, Rose smiled. ‘That, and that you’d be angry.’

‘Just mildly.’, Rey admitted.

‘You’re way too calm about all this.’, Finn accused. ‘Did you really forget everything? That he tortured you, killed Han, all the innocent lives-’

‘I didn’t forget!’, Rey said strongly. ‘But I can’t forget the other things, either.’

Finn narrowed his eyes at her. ‘It’s very hard for me to picture it. Kylo Ren, helping you and saving you and… _caring_ for you.’

He spit out the word, and really, Rey understood it, she did. She understood where Finn was coming from, that he only saw Kylo Ren, not Ben Solo. But.

‘You haven’t seen what I’ve seen.’

‘He came back.’, Rose said gently. ‘I know what you’re saying, Finn, we both understand.’, she nodded at Rey. ‘But beyond everything else, he did come to us. With his tail between his legs and all the information he could get his hands on.’

‘Yeah, well’, Finn bristled, ‘let’s wait and see. See what BB-9’s data contains, and see what he’s going to do next.’

‘That’s all I ask.’, Rey smiled at him. ‘That you don’t go heart first, blaster blazing, and you wait before passing full judgment.’

‘I’m only doing it for you.’, Finn smiled back at her.

‘Thank you.’ Rey got up, kissed his forehead, did the same to Rose, for good measure, and started walking away.

She stopped, when Poe’s voice sounded in the mess hall, over the base-wide intercom.

‘Hello, Resistance fighters, this is your handsome and benevolent leader speaking!’

There were a few snorts heard around the mess hall, more than a few eye rolls. Rey sat back down.

‘So, I’m sure all of you know by now that we have Kylo Ren on base. I just wanted to let everyone know that you’re safe. While I don’t trust the guy completely, it doesn’t seem like he’s here to kill us all. Instead, he brought us information and he’s stubbornly set to help us defeat the First Order.’

Poe sighed, deeply, as murmurs started around the base. ‘I know your reluctance, I’ve got it too. I’m not asking you to trust the guy, I’m just asking you to leave him alone. If he causes any trouble, you come straight to me. Or Rey, if she’s closer.’

All heads turned to her and the murmurs got louder.

‘One last thing.’, Poe sighed, again. ‘If nothing else, keep in mind that the guy you’re going to see walking around base with two constant guards, who’s going to be part of planning upcoming missions and just generally, getting involved with the Resistance... That guy is still Ben Solo, Leia’s son.’

Poe let that sink in for a moment.

‘Thanks for your attention, guys. Get back to your day!’

Rey straightened her back and ignored how every head in the large room was turned towards her.

Rose smiled at her, big and wild, and it gave Rey that little jolt of strength she needed, to get up and walk out of the mess hall. Of course, she went straight to the upper level, to Ben’s room.

/∆\

One of the guards sitting, heavily armed, outside of Ben’s room was probably new on base, because Rey didn’t recognize him. But the other guy was Dalo, who had proven willing to help Rey with her training. He fought dirty, she realized pretty early on, but when it came to her learning, it wasn’t a bad thing.

So as she got in front of him, Dalo very stealthily tripped her. She didn’t fall, and didn’t hesitate in fighting back. They exchanged just a couple of moves, ending in a stalemate, but they were both grinning.

‘Getting better, rookie.’, Dalo winked at her.

She tilted her head in thanks, before looking to the room. Ben was sitting in the open doorway, looking ready for a fight, eyes skipping from her to Dalo impossibly quick.

‘Calm down.’, she told him. ‘It’s just training.’

‘Training?’, he asked slowly.

‘She’s getting good at it.’, Dalo turned to Ben. ‘Still needs some work on offence, but she picked up defense surprisingly fast.’

‘That’s good.’, he instantly turned awkward. ‘Is that… the only training you’re partaking in?’

Rey didn’t answer him. Instead, she pushed by him and walked into his room, once again hopping herself on the desk. Ben awkwardly leaned back against the wall opposite her.

‘Did Poe torture you for information?’, she grinned.

He pulled a face. ‘It was torture, alright.’

Dalo snorted, outside of the room, making Rey frown at Ben.

‘He was civil.’, he said, stiffly. ‘We ate lunch together. And… chatted.’

Dalo snickered, clearly trying to suppress it, but not managing it.

Ben sighed. ‘He’s a very weird man. He was civil, but he insulted me every other word.’

‘Sounds about right.’, Rey smiled. ‘Poe may have a lot of flaws, but trying to do the right thing is never one of them.’

He nodded at that, understanding. There was something more he wanted to say, Rey could see it on his face, the hesitation.

She didn’t say anything, but tried prodding his mind. It was unsuccessful, of course, and Ben rolled his eyes. But he also lowered himself to the ground, getting comfortable sitting cross legged, looking at Rey still with hesitation in his eyes, but he did start talking.

‘I didn’t expect it to be like this. It’s only day one, I know, but this is…’

He didn’t go on, shaking his head and looking away from her.

‘What did you expect?’

‘A dark cold cell and the sound of a thrown away key.’ It was whispered, but Rey still heard it, loud and clear. ‘Or the hot sting of a blaster.’

‘You haven’t been out on base, yet.’, Rey tried her best to be diplomatic about it. ‘Poe knows he has more to gain from you by showing you kindness and respect, and I…’, she shook her head. ‘But the rest of the people on base, they’re not going to show you mercy.’

‘I know.’, he nodded slowly. ‘I look forward to it.’

Ben looked back at her, smiling ruefully. ‘What does that say about me?’

‘That you want to be punished?’, Rey frowned. ‘It shows that you really are repenting. And how truly horrifying the First Order ideology is.’

For a long while, Ben just looked at her, a swarm of emotions she couldn’t read flashing in his eyes. Honestly, in that moment, Rey wanted nothing more than to be able to reach into his mind and make sense of his thoughts.

‘This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for you.’

Rey smiled, a little. ‘I told Master Luke that I needed someone to show me my place in all this.’

His eyes widened, a little. ‘And then I said you were nothing.’

Despite the small twinge of pain she still felt as hearing the words, Rey managed to keep smiling.

‘That was a lie.’

‘Yes.’, he didn’t hesitate. ‘But I don’t think this’, he waved a hand around between them and the rest of the room, ‘is _all_ that you were meant to do.’

‘That’s not as comforting as you think.’, Rey couldn’t help but point out. ‘There’s… Nobody says it, but there’s pressure on my shoulders, because of my powers. The First Order won’t go down with just a flick of the wrist.’

‘It won’t.’, Ben nodded. ‘But you’ll do it.’

She looked away from his intense eyes, and on a whim, she corrected him.

‘We.’

Ben said nothing, because there was an onslaught of beeps.

BB-8 and BB-9 rushed into the room, both of them heading straight for Ben. They were talking quickly, over one another.

‘BBs.’, Ben said a couple of times, trying to quiet them down.

It didn’t work, so Ben yelled it once, as he put a hand on each of the droids.

‘You’re talking too fast, and over each other, we can’t understand you.’

 _Download complete!_ , BB-9 said excitedly.

‘Good job.’, Ben nodded, patting the droid’s side.

 _Poe is screaming_ , BB-8 said.

‘Why is he screaming?’, Rey instantly grew alarmed.

 _He’s excited!_ , BB-8 whirled around to face her. _Like for pika cakes!_

Before anybody got to answer that, they heard hurried footsteps down the hallway, and sure enough, a panting Poe appeared in the doorway. He was breathing heavily, clearly having run up the stairs, and he looked absolutely demented.

‘It’s going to take us weeks to go through all the data.’

‘Yes.’, Ben nodded. ‘I thought about that, actually.’

He got up, careful not to disturb the droids too much.

‘From what I saw in the hanger, you don’t have the necessary fire and man power for a full blown attack on the First Order. A better strategy might be a puzzle one. Start with smaller bases, weaken their numbers, their defenses in a systematic manner. It’s a long game, but it could work.’

‘You’ll tell us the smaller bases?’, Poe was staring with wide eyes at Ben.

‘Of course.’

Poe grinned then, still looking insane. ‘Well come on, then!’

Ben blinked. ‘What, now?’

The other man glared at him, a little, and at Rey too, briefly. ‘What, do you have anything better to do?’

Needless to say, Ben moved to leave immediately, following Poe out of the room, the droids rolling away with excited beeps.

‘Rey!’, Poe yelled as they made it to the top of the stairs. ‘Get your ass over here, the people are going to feel safer with you there!’

With a sigh, Rey followed them down to the command room.

/∆\

The computer BB-9 downloaded the data into was pushed to a corner of the room, out of the way of the usual flow of people. Ben and Poe sat down on chairs in front of it, Poe writing everything Ben said on a tablet.

BB-8 and BB-9 were sitting right next to their chairs, but Rey didn’t think the men noticed the droids, that’s how involved in their conversation they were. Plus, the BB units were keeping quiet, both of them content to just sit next to their masters.

It was a shocking sight, really, and quite adorable.

Rey didn’t need to be part of this conversation. Poe will give her the cliff notes later, once they’ll actually start planning the missions. So she sat herself down in a chair in their close vicinity, without being right in the bubble they’ve created for themselves.

She was still shocked.

Kylo Ren was sitting next to the leader of the Resistance, willingly giving him information that will help destroy the First Order. He was answering to being called _Ben_ , he was showing kindness to a droid with an anxiety disorder and separation issues, he was wearing a light grey shirt and really, it all seemed impossible.

Rey, beyond her shock, was feeling a great deal of things.

Relief. They had a shot, they actually had a shot to destroy the evil that was the First Order. It was a long shot, of course, and it will take a lot of hard work, she was perfectly aware. But, as Poe said, there was hope again, and now it wasn’t for nothing.

Excitement. She felt empowered, energetic. Finally, they were going to have a plan, Rey will have something to do. The past weeks, walking aimlessly around the base with nothing concrete to do, it did not sit well with Rey, it made her feel terribly anxious and frustrated. That was gone now.

Pressure. They will have a plan, and Rey had a feeling she will be a large part of that plan, because she was a Jedi. Her powers were still developing, she was still learning, she felt like she still had so much to learn. Failure was not an option.

Loved. Rey felt loved. By Poe, Finn and Rose. Chewie, BB-8, R2 and 3PO. For the first time in her life, she had friends. She’d kill for them, and she’d die for them, and it was the most beautiful feeling in the world. It didn’t feel like she was deserving of it, but she embraced it wholeheartedly.

Grateful. All of her life, everything she did on Jakku was to fill the time, until her family came back for her. Nothing else was important, nothing mattered. Now, there was a point to everything she did. It had meaning, it had a purpose. It was such an unknown feeling to Rey, but knowing that she did have a place in everything that was happening, it made everything she had gone through easier to accept.

Thankful. Ben was here. He deflected the First Order, he stepped out of the darkness and towards the light. He did the right thing, in the end. Too late, much too late, but he did it.

Just watching him then, it stirred up a lot of emotions inside of Rey’s chest. She felt deeply overwhelmed, she didn’t even understand all of them. She was relieved he did the right thing, she felt excited that he was by her side, excited to learn from him. She felt pressured to keep herself a certain way away from him, scared that if she fell into his orbit completely, there will be no turning back. She felt loved by him, which was terrifying and exhilarating and not something she wanted to further explore right then. She was so grateful that he was strong enough to do this. She couldn’t even imagine how difficult it must have been for him, to run away from everything that he knew in the past years, blow up a base and run for his life, while grieving his mother’s death.

It was insane. Impossible, incredible, and everything felt _real_. For the first time since she found BB-8 on Jakku, everything that was happening felt real, not like she was watching someone else’s story through a holopad.

BB-9 came to her side.

 _You look lonely_.

‘I’m not.’, Rey smiled. ‘I was just thinking.’

The droid shook its head at her. _I’ll stay with you_ , _lady friend._

‘My name is Rey. You can call me that, if you want.’

 _Sunshine_.

‘What?’

 _Rey of sunshine. I’ll call you Sunshine_.

BB-9 said nothing more, but it did gently bump its head to her calf, before settling at her feet. Rey felt eyes on her and sure enough, Ben had clearly watched the entire exchange. There was fondness in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. Poe snapped his fingers very close to Ben’s face to get his attention back. Ben rolled his eyes, very dramatically, but he did turn around to the computer and went back to paying attention to Poe and nothing else.

Rey willed her thoughts to quiet down. She pushed her chair away, sitting down on the floor next to BB-9. She didn’t exactly meditate, but it was a close thing.

/∆\

By the time dinner time rolled around, Rey was certain of three things.

One, the general population of the Resistance was more curious about Ben then it was vengeful towards him. Word had spread across base and everybody found flimsy reasons to make their way to the command center, just so they could see Ben. Rey didn’t feel any strong hate coming from anyone, they were just mildly mistrusting and very curious.

Two, Poe was so evidently excited about whatever Ben was saying. He was empowered by it, like he was about to jump in a ship and destroy the First Order single handedly.

Three, Rey needed to convince Ben to train her. He was the only one left in the world who could use the Force, besides her. She needed to learn from him. _You need a teacher_ , he once said, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t want to do it now, afraid of tainting her with the dark side. She would have to convince him, somehow, she didn’t know exactly how, yet, but she will do it.

Rey sighed, and went to the mess hall. It was impossible to carry three trays of food, so she asked 3PO for help.

‘Master Ben!’, the droid exclaimed. ‘My, how have you grown!’

Ben froze, before slowly turning around, staring with wide eyes at the gold droid. He said nothing, before he turned to look, still incredulous, at Rey.

‘Do you know that I’m the third generation of Skywalker that he’s known?’

‘That’s not true!’, 3PO exclaimed.

‘Yes it is.’, Ben nodded. ‘You got your memory erased, at one point. Ask R2 about it. Wait.’, he frowned, turning to Poe. ‘Is R2 here?’

‘Of course he is.’, Poe snorted. ‘These two are going to outlive humanity by the sheer power of their stubbornness.’

At that, 3PO dumped the tray of food in Poe’s lap, making him yelp.

‘Enjoy your dinner, General!’, the droid sounded heavily sarcastic, and he kept muttering under his breath as he walked away.

Rey gave Ben his tray of food, gentler than that.

‘Thank you, but I’m not hungry.’

She huffed. ‘You’re still going to eat it, because your body needs the energy to heal.’

He opened his mouth to argue, probably, but BB-9 beeped an alarmed _Eat it all to get healthy!_ Ben sighed, took his dessert and put it on Rey’s tray, before he started eating, albeit slowly.

Rey winked at BB-9, thankful for the help. The droid silently preened, and all but snuggled up to her side when she sat down to eat.

/∆\

It took hours before Poe finally announced they could stop for the day. It was well into the night, the base was pretty much deserted except for a few droids and a handful of sleepy guards.

Poe’s stomach growled loudly as soon as he got up from his chair, so he declared they were going to raid the kitchen. Ben and Rey wordlessly followed him.

Ben looked curiously around the base, pulling faces here and there at the obvious age of things. It was an old base, and no matter how much they tried, that was not something they could change.

Poe made some sandwiches from dinner leftovers, but Rey declined, opting for grabbing a bowl of fruit. She also made tea for everyone, a sweet tea made from the leaves of a tree that was native to the planet.

Ben was looking so very awkward, across the table from Poe, picking at his sandwich more than he was eating. So Rey very boldly sat down next to him, stealing a cucumber off his plate but offering him a handful of berries instead.

He eyed her wearily.

‘So, boys.’, she grinned at them. ‘Does it look like we stand a chance?’

‘Yes!’, Poe said very loudly, even if his mouth was full. ‘It’s gonna take a while, but we’ll do it.’

‘He’s too excited.’, Ben deadpanned. ‘He needs to take a step down.’

Rey snorted, as Poe acted affected. It didn’t have the effect he desired, considering his cheeks were bulging with food and there was a green smear on his upper lip. She wordlessly wiped it away, not feeling the least bit self conscious to lick the food off her finger.

Ben was blinking very slowly at her.

‘Eat your food.’, she told him, making him snap out of it.

Poe finished his food first, frowning at Rey. ‘There are guards outside of his room. You’ll take him there when you’re done?’

Of course, she nodded. Poe bid her goodnight, kissing the top of her head before all but ordering Ben to get some rest, because they had work to do come morning.

‘Are you okay?’, was the first thing Rey asked.

Ben shook his head, but said ‘Yes’.

She didn’t say anything, kept on munching on her berries and fruits she didn’t know the name of, but Rey did not take her eyes off him, waiting.

‘Fine.’, he sighed. ‘I can’t believe nobody tried to kill me today.’

‘Yeah, me too.’, Rey easily piped up, making Ben glare at her, a little.

He then sighed, deeply. ‘I’m tired.’

He wasn’t talking about lack of sleep. Rey could see it in his eyes, the bone deep exhaustion that came with weeks of being in a place you didn’t want to be, with a day of being in a place you didn’t think you deserved to be in.

‘It’s been a long day.’, she said as gently as she could.

‘It’s going to be a long string of long days.’

She got up. ‘Come on, then. You should rest when you can.’

They didn’t speak as they made their way to his room, where sure enough, two men were waiting in the hallway. Ben stopped at the head of the stairs, whispering so that the guards wouldn’t hear him.

‘Why are you being so nice to me?’

Despite herself, Rey blushed. But she wasn’t the type of person to back down, not even at the sight of Ben looking so very intently at her.

‘Because someone has to.’

‘No.’, he shook his head. ‘Nobody has to be nice to me. Nobody should.’

‘I think someone should’, Rey countered, ‘because in the end, you did the right thing.’

‘You’re naive.’, Ben breathed out, seemingly angry, but his bottom lip was quivering and his eyes had a daze to them.

‘I am.’, Rey smirked. ‘I’ve proven that before, when I thought you were going to join me in the fight against the First Order. Oh!’, her eyes grew wide. ‘Would you look at that, here you are!’

‘There’s no need to be so sarcastic.’, Ben narrowed his eyes.

‘Gotta keep you entertained. What if you grow bored and go back to the First Order?’

His face turned deadly serious in an instant. ‘I’m never going back. I’m not… I won’t betray your trust again.’

‘Call me naive’, she breathed out, ‘but I do believe that.’

Ben let out a long, shaky breath, and she smiled at him, in hopes of diffusing the tension. It worked, somewhat, because Ben yawned, barely managing to cover his mouth.

‘Sorry.’, he was embarrassed.

‘Get some rest.’, Rey answered with a yawn of her own. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

He nodded, whispering a very soft ‘Goodnight’, before turning around and heading towards his room. He didn’t look back, not even when BB-9 beeped a very sweet _Bye, Sunshine!_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia's funeral is hard on everyone. Even so, Finn and Poe both have trouble dealing with Ben, in relation to Rey, but she tries her best to explain herself. They also discover a new bi-product of the bond they share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys, I'm so glad y'all are falling in love with BB-9. I did too, while writing it :)) 
> 
> I wish I'd understand how the whole parsec time passing measurement unit worked. but I don't, so I'm using hours.
> 
> Leia's funeral is in this chapter. Maybe you won't cry.

 

The next morning, Rey woke up to Poe gently running his fingers through her hair, bringing her breakfast and tea. He waited patiently until Rey ate, and until she got dressed in the fresher. When she came out, he had made her bed and sat on it.

‘Leia’s funeral is today.’

Rey sat, very heavily, next to him.

‘I’ve never been to a funeral before.’, she admitted.

Poe grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers tightly.

‘Will Ben be allowed to attend?’

‘Yeah.’, Poe let go of her hand, sighing deeply. ‘I’m not doing it for him, I’m doing it for everyone else.’

She didn’t understand.

‘They expect Kylo Ren to be inhuman. He shows humanity, with you, but gossip spreads like wildfire and everyone already knows something about your connection. The logical conclusion is that he used that connection to manipulate you to being on his side.’

‘That’s not what happened!’, Rey said strongly.

‘I know that, kinda.’, Poe frowned. ‘But they don’t. I think that if he comes to the funeral, he’ll show humanity towards his mother and that will be good for his… public image.’

‘That’s… a good idea, I think.’

‘I don’t know if I trust him, yet.’, Poe said slowly. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to do that until we successfully complete a mission that he has planned. But I don’t want to torture him. Physically or emotionally.’

‘That’s… Poe, that’s very kind of you. Considering he did both of those things when you first met.’

He snorted. ‘Yeah, I know. Even so, I… I don’t get it.’, he searched her eyes for something. ‘I don’t understand you. Cause he tortured you, too. He tried to kill you, your friends, _your_ Jedi master. How can you be so… nice to him?’

Rey took her time to answer, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

‘You don’t have to answer.’, Poe said gently. ‘It’s personal, I know, I’m just… trying to understand.’

‘I’ve seen a different part of him.’, Rey finally said. ‘The part of him that’s in the light. And I think that in order to keep that part at the surface, I… someone has to…’, she sighed.

‘Fight fire with fire.’, Poe smiled, a little. ‘Fight kindness with kindness.’

‘Something like that.’, Rey nodded.

‘I gotta ask.’, he pulled a face. ‘You don’t have to answer, but I gotta ask. Are you in love with him?’

Rey didn’t know Poe that well. They’ve really only known each other for two months, and even if they had lunch together every day with Rose and Finn, she didn’t know things about Poe. Where he came from, how his parents raised him, who was his first love. She didn’t feel an instant connection with him, like she felt with Finn. Still, there was something about Poe from the second she first met him, there was something that made Rey smile and want to be his friend.

So she took a deep breath and made a point to look at him as she answered. ‘No, I’m not in love with him. But I probably could be. I’m just… trying not to let that happen.’

‘Oh yeah.’, Poe drawled out, eyes wide. ‘Like that ever went well in the history of the universe.’

Rey didn’t find it in herself to say anything else. She felt guilty, deep inside herself, for feeling the way she did about Ben, but she also knew she will do anything in her power to keep him in the light. And in the end, that was the thing Poe should be the most interested in.

‘It’s not my place to judge.’, he finally said. ‘And it’s really not my place to tell you what to do.’

‘But?’, she raised an eyebrow.

‘But be sure, before you do anything. And…’, he winced, ‘Finn won’t be as understanding.’

Rey sighed, deeply, knowing he was right. She didn’t find it in herself to stress over it, now. She’ll cross that bridge when she got to it.

So she hugged Poe and together, they went to the command room.

/∆\

Ben was already there, waiting patiently in front of the closed off computer, two guards by his side, that Poe was quick to dismiss.

‘So, here’s the plan, Darth Boy. I have some billion more questions, and we’re going to work on that for a while, but after lunch, I’ve got some last minute arrangements to do. Leia’s funeral is later today.’

Ben took a shaky breath. ‘You’re burying her here?’

Poe smiled, shaking his head. ‘She didn’t want to be buried. There’s going to be a ceremony, and then the three of us, with Chewie, we’re taking the Falcon up and, as per her wish, we’ll scatter her ashes in space.’

‘Oh gods.’, Ben shook his head. ‘I guess being dramatic is a Skywalker trade.’

‘Yes.’, Poe didn’t hesitate, as Rey said ‘It sure is.’

‘Chewie’s going to be there?’, Ben was clearly hesitating.

‘You haven’t seen him yet?’, Poe frowned.

The other man shook his head.

‘He’s gonna kick your ass.’, Poe grinned wildly.

‘Yes he will.’, Ben sighed, but didn’t seem too bothered by it. ‘Have any of you seen BB-9? It wasn’t there when I woke up.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’, Poe waved him off. ‘You’ve got your guards, BB-9’s got them too.’

Ben frowned at that.

‘BB-9’s not going anywhere without BB-8.’

‘There’s no need for that. There’s not a single line of nefarious code in that droid.’

‘I figured as much.’, Poe snorted. ‘But they’re friends, I couldn’t split them up.’

Ben rolled his eyes at that, but it looked fond and he didn’t argue further.

The men got to work, and Rey took her spot on the ground, actually managing to meditate for a few hours.

/∆\

Poe all but dragged Ben to the mess hall for lunch, arguing that ‘You have to face the music sooner or later, I figure it’ll be better if you do that with us.’

So they stood together in line for food, and they sat down at their usual table, where Rose and Finn were already waiting.

Ben sat down at the far end of the table, as far away from Finn as possible, who was glaring strongly at him.

Rose wasn’t, she was actually smiling at Ben. ‘Hi, I’m Rose.’

‘Hello.’, Ben said very awkwardly, clearly surprised by the kind treatment. His eyes moved to Finn. ‘I don’t know your name. You’re not FN-2187 anymore.’

‘It’s Finn.’, came the harsh response. ‘And there’s not going to ever be a need for you to call me anything.’

Ben took it without a word, nodding and turning to his food. Poe and Finn started talking, and Rey was only half paying attention to them.

The two BB units came in a whirlwind. BB-8 went straight to Poe’s legs, and BB-9 went to Ben’s side. He wordlessly grabbed a hold of the empty chair next to him, and it took some doing and some grunts on Ben’s part, but using its hooks, BB-9 managed to get up on the chair.

It started beeping immediately.

_I took a shower!_

‘What?’, Ben frowned.

_I am clean! A nice lady with soft tools helped!_

‘Maintenance.’, Rey explained. ‘Lori is a very nice lady.’, she told BB-9.

 _She wanted to fix my programming_ , the droid sounded a little sad, _but BB-8 didn’t let her_.

‘That’s good.’, Rey smiled. ‘There’s no need to fix what is not broken.’

The droid turned to look at Ben, making a questioning sound.

‘You’re not broken.’, the man nodded.

BB-9 preened at that, making a few excited noises as it turned its dome all the way around a few times.

‘Calm down.’, there was a smile at the corner of Ben’s lips.

The droid listened to him, making one final excited beep, before turning to look at Ben’s plate.

_What are you eating?_

‘Food.’, came the prompt response. ‘It’s some sort of meat and mashed potatoes.’

 _Delicious_ , BB-9 piped up. _What’s the pink fuzzy thing?_

‘A berry cake, I think.’, Ben frowned down at it. ‘I don’t want it.’

As the day before, he put it on Rey’s tray, not meeting her eyes.

 _You’re weird_ , BB-9 pushed its dome to Ben’s arm. _Everyone else likes sweets._

‘Oh, yeah?’, he raised an eyebrow. ‘Have you met everyone else in the entire galaxy?’

 _Not yet_ , came the cheery response.

‘So how can you possibly know what everyone else likes?’

 _No no no_ , it shook its dome. _Everyone else that I’ve seen eating_.

‘I’m entitled to my own opinion, BB-9.’, Ben was surprisingly patient. ‘I can like something that most people don’t, I’m allowed not to like something that most people do. Every individual is different from the next.’

 _You are different_ , the droid beeped sweetly. _Very tall_.

‘You’re just short.’, Ben snorted.

BB-9 made an affronted sound.

‘Tiny.’, Ben went on, clearly struggling not to laugh.

_Smelly butt!_

Ben started chuckling at that, and he patted BB-9’s dome a few times, making the droid let out a long, contempt sounding beep.

‘Do you like it here, BB-9?’, Rey asked, smiling at the droid.

_Yes! People here like me!_

‘They do?’, it was Ben that asked.

_Yes! Nobody kicks me._

Rey’s heart broke a little at that, once again being reminded of how awful the First Order really was. She shared a look with Ben, her thoughts reflected clearly in his eyes.

 _I have friends!_ , BB-9 went on. _BB-8 and Sunshine!_

Ben pointedly cleared his throat.

 _Master Ben too!_ , the droid was quick to say. _But I had you before._

Still, BB-9 pushed its dome to Ben’s arm again, a few times, until he patted it.

_Can we go on a walk outside?_

Ben frowned. ‘I don’t think-’

‘Not today.’, Rey interrupted him. ‘Ben’s mother funeral is today.’

BB-9 made a mournful sound, once again touching his arm.

‘But tomorrow’, Rey went on, ‘after Ben and Poe are done with their work for the day, we can go for a walk.’

The droid beeped happily at that, and Ben smiled at her.

She had to look away. It was then that she realized that their table was uncharacteristically quiet, and so was the rest of the mess hall. Everyone was staring at Ben.

A grin formed its way on Rey’s face. ‘So, BB-9. Do you have any embarrassing stories about Master Ben?’

‘No.’, he paled.

 _Not many_ , the droid beeped. _He falls a lot_.

‘BB-9, stop talking.’, Ben growled.

The droid turned to him. _But you said I should listen to her_.

‘Well, yes, but-’

‘Tell me, please.’, Rey kept on grinning. ‘How does he fall a lot?’

_The floors of the First Order ships are very shiny. His shoes slip._

Rey was struggling not to burst out laughing.

 _He always falls on his butt_ , the droid went on. _And complains about bruises._

She started laughing then, she couldn’t help it. Ben was glaring at her, even as his cheeks were bright red.

‘BB-9’, Rey wheezed out, ‘you just made my day.’

The droid turned to Ben. _I like it when she laugh_ s.

His glare softened at that, and his gaze lingered on Rey, before he turned to BB-9.

‘You’re forgiven this one time, but don’t let it happen again.’

BB-9 beeped in acceptance, and Ben went back to his food. So did Rey, but she snuck a glance at the rest of the table.

Rose and Finn were staring at Ben in shock, Poe was laughing at them. It was a pretty good outcome, Rey thought.

/∆\

Rey took a very long time getting ready for the funeral.

She wasn’t lying when she told Poe she had never been to one, but on Jakku, she knew the rituals. One of them had everyone attending the funeral to wear dark colors, a sign of mourning. Rey knew it wasn’t like that on all the other worlds, but it was the least she could do, a way to honor Leia in her own way.

She had a pair of dark grey pants that were a little too tight on her, but wearable. It took a while to look through the Resistance wardrobe and find something that she could work with, but she did find a black blouse. It was too large on her, clearly made for a man, but she put a belt under her breasts and folded up the sleeves. Because it was too long on her, down to the middle of her thighs, it almost looked like a dress.

Connix told her, once, that after Han died, Leia took to wearing her hair up in a single bun and that it was an Alderaanian mourning tradition. Rey’s hair wasn’t long enough to do that, so she left most of it fall on her shoulders. But she did braid herself a single bun, in the center of her head, keeping her hair out of her eyes and respecting the tradition.

She was already halfway to crying when she left her room, and as she got to Ben’s, it was harder to keep the tears at bay.

He was wearing the black tunic he came wearing, all stitched up and clean, but he was also wearing a paint of white pants. He was standing in the middle of the room, blankly staring at an empty wall, breathing a little too fast. BB-9 was at his legs, dome pushed to his calf.

‘It’s time.’, Rey said gently.

Ben turned to her, taking a deep breath before moving. BB-9 and BB-8 stayed behind, but the two guards standing in the hallway followed them wordlessly outside of the base.

There were a lot of people, a lot more than the Resistance numbers should count for. It stopped Rey, for a beat, but it didn’t stop Ben. He headed, slowly but surely, straight for the front of the assembly, where a place for them had seemingly been left, to the side of a circle that had been delimited in the grass, left empty.

As soon as Rey settled next to him and the guards a few steps behind them, Chewie made his way to their side. Ben froze, his eyes growing wide as soon as they landed on the Wookiee.

But Chewie didn’t say anything. He slapped the back of Ben’s head, but it was done as gently as a Wookiee was capable of.

‘I deserved that.’, Ben looked down.

Chewie snorted and hugged him, tightly, very tightly, so tightly that Rey was afraid Ben couldn’t get air in his lungs. But he didn’t argue, he didn’t try to push the Wookiee away. Instead, he took a deep breath, buried the fingers of one hand into Chewie’s hair, around his waist.

Ben also pressed his cheek to Chewie’s chest, closing his eyes. Rey had never seen him look so… soft.

‘I am sorry.’, Ben sighed. ‘I’ve always been sorry.’

 _I know, kid_.

Ben snorted, shakily. ‘I’m not a kid anymore.’

Chewie let go of him, ruffled his hair. _You’ll always be my kid, idiot._

He then took his place on Ben’s other side and did not say another word.

Rey didn’t know what to expect, but it really wasn’t nowhere near to what happened. People came to Ben, offing their respects. Very few of them actually said the words _I am sorry for your loss_ , but the sentiment was clear, and the people were respectful. Rey didn’t recognize any of them, they weren’t part of the Resistance. Honestly, she didn’t know each and every face on base, but these people weren’t fighters. Their clothes were expensive, their faces had no sign of wear on them, and they all acted… royally.

Ben gave as good as he got. It surprised Rey, a little, how he easily slipped into being respectful, bowing and addressing people with _my lord_ and _my lady_. It was a little of a slap to her face, the realization that Ben had been raised in this world. When she thought about him growing up, she never thought further into the past than Ben training with Luke. But in his early years, he had been raised by Leia, taught how to behave in the world of senators, council members and politics.

She received a bigger slap of reality when a queen came to Ben. The woman was old, but everything about her screamed royalty, from the gorgeous gown she wore, the paints on her face, the small army of women following her and, most of all, by the way she held herself.

It was the first time Ben faltered. He addressed the woman as Miss Dor, quickly excusing himself and calling her by her royal title. But the older woman just smiled, gently touching his cheek. Rey was surprised when Ben didn’t jump at that, but she understood it soon enough. The queen apparently knew Ben since he was a toddler running around the grass on Naboo and she was a mere apprentice on the then-queen’s staff.

‘Did you get here in time? Did you say goodbye?’, the queen asked.

Ben shook his head. ‘I wasn’t here, but I did say goodbye.’

The woman smiled at that, grabbing a hold of his hand. ‘I am very glad to see you, my boy, and I know your mother is glad that you are here.’

‘Thank you.’, Ben breathed out. ‘And thank you for attending.’

The queen left without another word, but with a wink sent in Chewie’s direction. Rey was left staring, wordlessly, at Ben. He noticed it, of course, but didn’t address it in any way.

When Poe came to their side, Rey was startled.

‘We’re about to start.’, the man looked to Ben. ‘Do you want to ignite the flame?’

He was quick to shake his head. ‘I’ve burned her enough. You can do it.’

Poe took a very long, deep breath. ‘Can I?’

Rey grabbed a hold of his hand, offering as little comfort as she could. Poe smiled at her.

‘Finn wants to come with us, after.’

She figured as much, and Ben, surprisingly enough, didn’t argue against it.

When Poe left, he headed to the middle of the empty circle, and the entire assembly quieted down. He didn’t say anything, looking towards the building. Only then did Rey realize that the people gathered had left a corridor empty, from the base to the circle. She understood why, when 3P0 and R2 came out of the building.

They stood at either side of what looked like a life pod, seemingly guiding its flight. The pod wasn’t covered, and Leia looked breathtakingly beautiful. Her skin was glowing, there was color on her cheeks and on her lips. Her hair was left undone, curling around perfectly around her head and shoulders, blue and white flowers placed in it. The dress Leia wore was the most beautiful thing Rey had seen in her life, a dark blue that shimmered silver in the sun, with folds that seemed endless.

3PO was completely silent, for once, his red hand placed on the edge of the pod, and R2 was so close to it, its dome banged loudly against the side of the pod.

Leia looked ethereal, alive and strong and Rey couldn’t hold in the sob that escaped from her throat. Wordlessly, without looking at her, Ben put a hand on her back, and did not take it away for the remainder of the ceremony.

Poe pushed a button on the pod, and Leia burned. It wasn’t a normal fire, the flames were purple and there was no smoke. Sooner than Rey thought possible, all that was left of Leia Organa was a pile of ashes. They got swept in the wind, but it was controlled, Rey realized, because they moved to a certain part of the pod.

People started leaving, then, slowly trickling away in silence, most of them with tears in their eyes. At the end of it, Rey and Ben were left with his guards, with Chewie, Poe and Finn, 3PO and R2, all of them standing around the empty pod.

Wordlessly, Poe pushed another button on it, retrieving a sleek cube, which contained Leia’s ashes. He dismissed the guards, instructed the droids to take the pod back to base and wordlessly headed for the hanger, all of them following in silence.

Ben took his hand away from Rey’s back only when they boarded the Falcon. Chewie headed for the co-pilot seat, and it was expected for Rey to take the seat next to him. She hesitated, asking Ben if he’d like to fly.

‘Yes, but I can’t. I’d fly us into the first asteroid.’

Her knees started shaking, then, and she all but collapsed next to Ben, Poe wordlessly heading towards the cockpit.

From then, everything happened incredibly quick. A short hyperjump, Ben taking the ashes from Poe and going, with Chewie, at the escape hatch that was in the further away corner of the Falcon. When they returned, empty handed, Ben was crying.

Rey was still sobbing, and when he sat down next to her, he wordlessly grabbed her hand, squeezing to the point of pain. Even so, by the time they landed back at base, Rey had managed to get a hold of herself. There were tears still threatening to fall, but she was a little more composed.

Her first instinct was to follow Ben to his room, but something told her that he wanted to be alone. So she left Poe to take him back, not missing the way Finn was frowning, very deeply at her.

‘Not now.’, she whispered. ‘Please, not now.’

‘Okay.’, Finn grabbed her hand. ‘Okay, Rey.’

He took her to his and Rose’s room, where Rey collapsed on the bed. Rose got in next to her, holding Rey tightly as she started crying again, and Finn got in too, on Rose’s other side, wrapping an arm around both of them.

Sometime later, she did fall asleep and mercifully, she didn’t dream of anything.

/∆\

Rey woke up terribly late, closer to lunch than breakfast, and she still felt drained. But she set her fresher to the hottest setting and spent more time that was needed in it, and she managed to grab some fruits from the kitchen, so by the time she got to the command room, she was feeling a little bit better.

Ben wasn’t there, but Poe was, clearly waiting for him.

‘He’s still asleep.’, Poe told her without prompting. ‘BB-9 said he didn’t go to bed until the suns came up.’ He turned and smiled at her. ‘Finn was looking for you, he should be in the hanger.’

Rey didn’t think she was up for that conversation, but it had to happen sooner or later. So for the hanger she headed, where she found Finn doing inventory on some new supplies. He was happy to see her, mostly because he was due for a break, so they went outside.

They were silent, as they headed to the forest that was close to base, but once they reached the tree line, Finn sat on the grass, leaning back against a tree. Rey sat in front of him, crossing her legs and taking a deep breath before urging Finn to just say whatever he needed to say.

‘I trust you.’, is what he started with. ‘And as much as I care for you, I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do. I won’t do that, but please, Rey, make me understand.’

He shook his head. ‘He tortured you and Poe, he killed Han right in front of our eyes. He hurt you, and me and so many other people. He’s cruel and dark. How can you stand to look at him? And see something else?’

Rey took a very shaky breath before she started talking.

‘When the Force bonded us together, I shot my blaster at him.’

‘And now you’re holding his hand.’, Finn said unkindly. ‘How did you get from there to here?’

‘I saw more. I saw more than what the First Order did to him, what Snoke made him into. I don’t know how to explain it, Finn. I wish I had a holotape of every discussion I had with him, maybe then you’d understand.’

‘Please try.’, he said, softer. ‘Please, Rey, anything.’

She looked away from him, looking up into the trees and gathering her thoughts.

‘The Force is not something that Ben and I have. The Force is everywhere, in between everything, between life and death, between this tree and the next. I’ve always felt it, but when I met you, and when I touched Luke’s lightsaber for the first time, it awakened.’

‘What does that have to do with-’

‘That’s also the first time I saw him.’

Like the first time he heard it, that shut Finn up.

‘I didn’t understand it, then. I didn’t know who he was, but… For reasons I don’t fully understand, the Force did connect us.’

‘But you have a choice.’

‘Yes. And I still chose it.’, she took a deep breath. ‘On Ahch-To, there was the first Jedi temple. But wherever the Force is, so is the dark side. I went into its cave, willingly, because I thought it would give me answers about my parents.’

Finn grabbed her hand. ‘And did it?’

She shook her head. ‘No, but Ben understood it, why I dived straight into the dark. Luke didn’t. We touched then, through the Force and it…’

Rey took her hand away from Finn’s hold, burying her fingers into the grass, grounding herself in the dirt.

‘I saw things, I saw him turning on Snoke. And I felt… the light in him.’

‘What if he manipulated you into-’

‘He didn’t.’, she cut Finn off quickly, managing to look back at him. ‘Since everything started, since you joined the Resistance, have you ever fought with someone back to back? Knowing that whatever happened, the other person was going to keep you safe?’

‘Is that what happened when you fought Snoke?’

Rey nodded. ‘I’ve never felt more powerful. After Ben killed Snoke, after he saved me, I looked into his eyes and I knew that together we could save the galaxy.’

‘But he betrayed you after that.’

‘But he’s here, now.’

‘Rey-’

‘Ben and I have hurt each other a terrible amount in the past. But we also saved each other. And I don’t just mean from Snoke.’

There were tears in her eyes, but Rey pushed through. ‘On Ahch-To, he saw that my parents were nobody, people who sold me for drinking money and were buried in a pauper’s grave on Jakku. And while my soul ripped apart when he said it, it was the final push that I needed to move on from my past. On Ahch-To, I saw the light that was still hidden in Ben Solo’s heart, and I’ve saved him by fighting to keep that light on the surface.’

Finn was looking at her with wide eyes.

‘You’re in love with him.’, he whispered after a long while.

Rey shook her head. ‘It’s not that simple. It’s… the bond we share, Finn, there’s no word for it. It’s… cosmic and godly and everything and anything and beyond it all, it is the Force and it is… us. Love has nothing to do with it.’

Inexplicably, Finn smiled. ‘That’s the first lie you told me today. And does he love you?’

‘It’s not that simple.’, she said again, more forcefully.

The smile fell off Finn’s face. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘What for?’

‘I can’t be what you want me to be, Rey. I can’t be accepting and forgiving, I can’t look that man in the eyes and _not_ see all the pain he’s inflicted on others. I can’t blindly trust him, just because he saved your life and deserted the First Order.’

‘I know.’, she whispered. ‘But please, don’t doubt me, Finn. Don’t think that my judgment is clouded because of him. I couldn’t bare it.’

Finn hugged her then, very tightly. ‘I trust you, no matter what. You’re my best friend and whatever path you walk on, I’ll be by your side to the very end.’

Finally, Rey’s tears fell. She cried into Finn’s arms, and thanked him, over and over again, for being her best friend.

/∆\

Poe and Ben both stared at her when she made her way to the command room.

‘Have you been crying?’, Poe looked ready for a fight.

She smiled at him. ‘It’s fine, Finn and I just had some stuff to work through.’

His expression softened at that. ‘You can go, if you want. We can-’

‘No, I’ll meditate for a while.’, she sat in what was becoming her spot on the floor.

‘Go.’, she heard Ben whisper, before BB-9 started beeping in distress, rolling over to her.

The droid all but pushed itself into her lap, and BB-8 was close behind, pressing into her side.

Rey laughed. ‘I’m fine, BBs. Sometimes, it’s good to cry.’

 _Pretty girls shouldn’t cry_ , BB-9 shook its head at her.

‘Sometimes, they should.’, Rey countered. ‘Especially when it helps with solving problems. But I’m done crying now, I promise.’

 _We’ll sit with you_ , BB-8 left no room for discussion, and by the way the other droid pushed its head to Rey’s stomach, it didn’t plan on moving, either. She wrapped her arms around them as well as she could, taking comfort in the cool metal under her skin.

Properly cuddling with the two droids, Rey looked up. Poe was grinning at her, and Ben…

She had lied to Finn. Ben was in love with her, and it was in moments like this, when his eyes betrayed it.

‘Trying to meditate now is pointless.’, he said in a very amused voice.

‘There’s nothing stopping me from trying.’, she easily countered.

Poe snorted. ‘That’s the tagline of your life.’

/∆\

It was Poe that brought Rey out of meditation, announcing it was lunch time. Ben came with them without any argument. Finn and Rose weren’t there yet, but they got food and sat down at their usual table, the two droids beeping under it, gossiping about 3PO and R2, it seemed. Ben and Poe were deep in conversation about a First Order base called SanusLab.

Rey focused on her food, but she did notice when Ben wordlessly put his quinberry cake on her tray.

As they were finishing their food, Finn came to the table. He had his tray stacked high with food for two, clearly planning on having a lunch date with Rose somewhere else. But he did sit down, right next to Ben, leveling him with a strong look, as strong as the way he was clenching his fists.

He opened his mouth to say something, but both BB-8 and BB-9 zapped each of his legs, making Finn yelp loudly.

‘What the hell was that for?’

 _You made Sunshine cry_ , BB-9 sounded very angry.

‘I don’t even know who Sunshine is!’

‘That’s me.’, Rey winced. ‘Sorry, Finn, I did tell them it was a good cry.’

His eyes softened, and he smiled at her. ‘I deserved that.’ He shook his head and turned to Ben.

‘I have a question.’, Finn started. ‘Why did you spare me?’

Ben’s eyes grew a little wide at that, but he said nothing.

‘On Jakku, when you ordered my squad to kill everyone, you saw me. Not firing my blaster, disobeying a direct order. You looked right at me, and there’s no doubt in my mind that you knew what was going through my head. But you left, and spared me. Why?’

‘Do you want me to lie?’, Ben asked, not unkindly.

‘If you ever lie to me, I’ll punch you in the balls.’, Finn deadpanned.

Ben raised an eyebrow, nodding in acceptance. ‘Hux and I have always been in competition for Snoke’s… We have always tried to surpass each other. The Stormtroopers were his project, and I have always made a case for a clone army.’

‘I know.’, Finn nodded. ‘So what?’

‘So if a Stormtrooper would have proven defective’, Ben said slowly, ‘it would have been a good argument for my case. And a dark spot in his ledger.’

Finn closed his eyes at that, taking a few calming breaths. He left with a definitive nod, but did not saying anything else to Ben.

Rey leveled him with a look. ‘That was a lie.’

She was sure of it, she saw it clearly in his eyes.

Ben tilted his head and didn’t deny it. ‘He wouldn’t have believed the truth.’

‘Which is?’, it was Poe that asked, not hiding his curiosity at all.

‘I wanted to know if it was possible.’, Ben was suddenly very interested in his food. ‘If anyone was truly able to betray the First Order. It seemed like a fairytale, until FN... until Finn.’

Rey and Poe shared a look. His eyes spoke of incredulity, but understanding as well, whereas she knew she looked fond.

‘Come on.’, Poe finally said after a long while. ‘We have work to do.’

/∆\

That was the last day Rey spent guarding Ben. He still had his around the clock guards following him, and every time BB-9 was away from him, BB-8 followed, but Rey was needed back in the hanger. There was a lot of work to do on the ships, a lot more ships than a week before and thankfully, a lot more supplies, as well. Though nobody was saying it, everyone was thinking that they were going to attack the First Order soon enough, and they were all working on fixing everything that they could.

So Rey spent the next week in the hangar. She started training again, focusing on offensive moves, but she also made sure to not limit herself to that. Even if it was late at night and she should have been sleeping, Rey made sure to meditate and, since it was in her care and it was gathering dust on her desk, she started training with Ben’s lightsaber. Always early in the morning, always out in the woods where nobody saw her, but for an hour she took in the smell of ozone, got used to the red light and to the added weight in her hand.

Ben knew. She didn’t tell him anything, but the first day she turned up at breakfast after training, his head snapped to her and he took a long breath before smirking at her.

That was also something that happened every day. She had breakfast with Poe and Ben, and sometimes, the two men joined her, Rose and Finn for lunch. Those times, Ben only spoke when he was directly addressed, but in the mornings, when it was just the three of them, he was more talkative, asking Rey about her training and the work she did in the hanger.

Nobody glared daggers at Ben anymore (except for Finn), he could walk around the base without having eyes following him. He even got to a first name basis with the men that were guarding him more often.

So that was probably why he turned up with Dalo when he had a training session planned with Rey, very late one night.

Ben said nothing, keeping a straight face upon seeing her surprised expression. Dalo was trying not to laugh.

 _Sunshine!_ , BB-9 beeped excitedly, rolling around her legs. _Master Ben wants to lose his muscles_.

‘He what?’, she blinked.

‘Loosen my muscles.’, Ben rolled his eyes.

‘You go do that.’, Dole pointed to a corner of the room that had a couple of mats and a few weights. ‘And you’, he winked at Rey, making his way to the mats in the center of the room, ‘come at me.’

That’s what she did, but she was distracted. Rey didn’t look at Ben as much as she would have wanted, she only did it once, when BB-9 started counting his pushups out loud. But she felt his eyes on her, and she wasn’t able to concentrate.

The third time Dalo pushed her down on the mats, he kept her there with his hands wrapped around her neck and a knee pushed to her stomach. His eyes skipped to Ben, briefly, before they returned to Rey.

‘Get out of your head’, he said seriously, ‘or go sleep.’

‘I’m sorry.’, she nodded.

But she also got up and took a few deep breaths, managing to center herself. From then on, she mostly ignored Ben and focused on fighting Dalo. She only met the floor once more in the hour that followed, and by the end of it, the man was congratulating her on her progress.

He left soon after, making sure Rey will be taking Ben back to his room.

‘No sabers?’, Ben said as soon as they were alone, sitting down on the mats in front of her, BB-9 following him closely.

Rey raised an eyebrow. ‘Nobody on this base fights with a saber.’

He blinked at her, twice. ‘Except for us.’

‘Would you actually be willing to train with me if I got us sabers?’

Ben tilted his head. ‘There’s no way Dameron will allow that.’

An idea sparked in Rey’s mind, but she didn’t voice it. Instead, she smiled at him. ‘How are you holding up?’

He looked to the side and lowered his voice. ‘Surprisingly well. I thought not having mother here will hurt more. It does hurt, but keeping busy with Dameron, it’s helping.’

Rey didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything, but put a comforting hand on his knee. It made Ben look up at her.

‘I…’, he took a deep breath. ‘I haven’t seen you that much in the past week.’

She couldn’t help but smile. ‘You’ve seen me every morning.’

Ben glared at her, but he also blushed, a little. ‘That’s not what I meant, and you know it.’

Rey snorted. ‘Well, do you feel like meditating? I always try to do it at least an hour before going to sleep.’

‘Does it help you sleep?’, he raised an eyebrow.

‘It helps with a lot of things.’

Ben nodded, taking a deep breath. He closed his eyes, wordlessly and very quickly slipping into meditation.

Rey took a few seconds to look at him. There were dark circles under his eyes, his hair was wet and the shirt he was wearing had sweat marks on it. It was sleeveless, and had a low collar, so she saw that the burns he had on his skin were looking well, clean and in the process of healing.

BB-9 pushed itself the tiniest bit closer, grabbing her attention. The droid didn’t have eyes, a face, an expression, but Rey knew it was judging her.

So with one final breath, she closed her eyes and slipped into meditation.

Usually, meditation helped Rey center herself. After a long day, it helped her clear her head and relax. On a boring day, it gave her something to focus on. Every day, it made her connect with the Force. For a little while, she understood it, even if it spoke to Rey in shapes and colors, in feelings and the pattern of her beating heart.

It wasn’t like this was the best meditation session she ever had, because that wasn’t true. But with Ben by her side, her connection with the Force felt stronger, somehow. More tangible, more… there.

They opened their eyes at the same time, neither of them saying a thing, looking at each other with their breathing still calm.

‘It’s not possible’, he breathed out, voice barely above a whisper, ‘all the things you do to me.’

Rey had to look away, feeling so incredibly weak. She got up and smiled gently at him.

‘It’s very late.’

It took a few beats too long, but Ben did finally look away. He also winced as he did it, and that made Rey feel very powerful, the fact that she had the power to hurt him like this.

Wordlessly, they headed to Ben’s room. He didn’t turn to look at her as he bid her goodnight, but BB-9 beeped cheerfully for the both of them.

Rey fell asleep with Ben Solo on her mind but, really, it was a normal occurrence by now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance makes the first move against the First Order using the intel that Ben had brought. He isn't a part of the mission, and Rey isn't either, so of course they spend time together.

Meditating before bed became part of their daily routine. They barely spoke at that times, but it made Rey feel more connected to Ben. She didn’t understand how it happened, but every night, the Force _vibrated_ between the two of them, even if they didn’t get inside each other’s heads. It was such a weird thing to happen, inexplicable, but they both took it in stride and accepted it without discussing it.

Poe found them alone in the training room in the second week of Ben’s stay, and both of them felt him come in, so they stepped out of their meditation and turned to him.

‘That was creepy.’, was the first thing Poe said. ‘The way you turned to look at me at the same time, completely in sync.’

They both glared at him.

‘Okay then, tough crowd.’, he muttered, making his way to their side and sitting down between them, easily making room for BB-9 to do the same.

‘Tomorrow morning we have a briefing with the commanders of the Resistance, to discuss our attack on SanusLab.’

Rey was the only one surprised by this information.

‘Don’t forget to tell them about the underground chambers.’, Ben nodded, easily.

‘Darth Boy’, Poe sighed, ‘you’ll be taking first chair at the briefing.’

That surprised Ben, clearly, making the other man huff.

‘It’s your plan, and it’s a darn good one.’

‘You’ll be better off with taking the credit for it.’, Ben argued.

‘I know.’, Poe shrugged. ‘But I never liked leaders who lie or withhold information from their troops, so I’m gonna try my best to not do that.’

‘Think strategically, Dameron.’, Ben rolled his eyes. ‘You’ll have a mutiny on your hands, nobody will be willing to go along with a plan designed by me.’

‘If you lose the attitude, they might.’, Poe threw him a look.

The two men glared at each other for a while, but it was Ben that relented.

‘Fine. It’s not like I have a choice, anyway.’

Poe winked at him, making Ben’s scowl deepen.

‘So how’s the meditating thing going?’, Poe smiled at Rey.

‘Great, before you showed up.’

He rolled his eyes at that, getting up and heading to the door, but he stopped right before it.

‘Hey, Rey, about what you asked me yesterday. I think you should start the day after tomorrow.’

She couldn’t help but grin, feeling excitement cursing through her veins. She thanked Poe in a very high pitched voice that made him chuckle.

Ben was frowning at her, but he didn’t say anything. It was BB-9 that asked.

_What are you planning, Sunshine? Can I help?_

‘Not yet, BB-9.’, she patted its dome, eyes skipping to Ben’s, briefly. ‘I’m getting us sabers, and when Ben and I start training, we’re going to need someone to keep score.’

The droid beeped excitedly, whirling around the both of them.

‘Are you sure?’, Ben was very serious.

Rey nodded. ‘I do need a teacher. And it’s not like I have a vast variety to choose from.’ She smiled, a little. ‘As far as last resorts go, I could probably do a lot worse than you.’

That made him snort. ‘Well… it’s something I can look forward to.’

/∆\

Once again, Rey woke up the next morning to Poe bringing her breakfast. He didn’t stick around, but he asked her to bring Ben to the command room.

He was already awake and clearly waiting. Rey could feel his anxiousness, which meant that Ben’s walls were down, the second time since he came to the Resistance. Despite wanting it very badly, Rey forced herself to stay away.

Instead, she smiled at him. ‘Ready?’

‘No.’, he said strongly, straightening his back and lifting his chin.

 _You’ll do great!_ , BB-9 pushed its dome to Ben’s leg. _You always know the best words._

Ben rolled its eyes at the droid, but it looked fond. He nodded once to Rey, and she wordlessly led them to the command room.

It was packed. Yesterday, Poe had said that only the higher in command will attend this meeting, but it looked like everyone on the base was there. They were all staring at Ben, a few pair of eyes lingering on Rey, as well, and there was a constant murmur of voices in the room.

‘Solo!’, Poe’s voice quieted the murmurs instantly. ‘Get your ass over here.’

Taking a deep breath, Ben made his way through the crowd to Poe’s side at the holotable, Rey and BB-9 following him closely.

‘Bring us up to speed, yeah?’, Poe was very carefree.

With a nod, Ben started talking. He sounded very professional, and Rey couldn’t help but think that he sounded like a leader. Years spent as a Master of the Knights of Ren have left their mark, but Rey didn’t think it was a bad thing.

Still, Ben was trying. He was speaking calmly, easily navigating plans and images on the holotable, explaining everything in an easy way to understand. And he wasn’t taking credit, at all. He never said “I think that” or “My idea is”. Instead, he expressed himself in ways of “The Resistance should do this” and “We need to do that”. Also, he mentioned Poe a lot. “Dameron thinks that”, “Your commander wants to”. It was a good tactic, Rey thought.

And it was a good plan.

The First Order base they were targeting was called SanusLab and it was a medical facility for damaged Strormtroopers. Finn growled out loud when he heard that, and he grew more and more angry as Ben explained that every First Order base had a medical infirmary to treat battle wounds and that SanusLab was used to treat mental insufficiencies, it was a reconditioning facility.

‘Brainwashing.’, Finn felt the need to add.

‘Yes, brainwashing.’, Ben didn’t look at him and was quick to move on.

Placed on a small asteroid, it didn’t have a high level of security. It wasn’t high up on the First Order’s interest level, no matter how hard Hux tried to get it there, so there were few guards and a high level of untrained medical personnel, outsourced and employed, not necessary indoctrinated. Ben made a point to emphasize this.

He also explained, it great detail, how the Strormtroopers at SanusLab ended up there because of disobedience against the First Order.

‘So if they would have caught Finn before he escaped, they would have sent him there?’, Rose asked in a very soft voice.

‘Yes.’, Ben nodded. ‘Thank you for pointing that out, Rose, because it will be an important detail to remember later on.’

He then explained the plan. The Resistance will scale a full frontal attack, but it will be a small team, a few X-Wings and a low number of foot soldiers. They didn’t need more to take the base, and it was a good tactic going forward, because the First Order will think their numbers were still down.

‘General Dameron wants to set the Strormtroopers free, or give them a chance to join the Resistance. He also wants to capture the medical personnel, but I’m not so sure it will be a good idea.’

‘Why?’, it was Finn that asked.

‘Resources.’, Ben didn’t hesitate. ‘The Resistance has a limited amount of them, and caring for a dozen prisoners requires a fair amount of resources.’

‘We’ll discuss that later.’, Poe said with finality, looking around the table. ‘Any questions?’

‘Are we seriously going to trust Snoke’s favorite pet?’, someone in the back asked strongly, Rey couldn’t see the man’s face.

Ben sighed, deeply, and shared a knowing look with Poe, that ended with him clapping Ben’s shoulder.

‘I know it is difficult to trust me.’, he said slowly. ‘I understand that. But this plan has been devised on the basis of raw information that comes straight from the First Order, I had no means of altering it. Also, do not forget.’, his tone grew a little harsh. ‘I killed Snoke and -’

‘Thus proving just what sort of monster you are.’, a new voice said, one of the commanding officers. His name was Delany, Rey remembered.

Ben hesitated, but not for long. ‘Yes, I am a monster. Would you care for me to explain why?’

Delany was surprised by this, but he did nod.

‘You cannot begin to understand how strong Snoke was. He had a perfect, almost godly control of the Force, but it was utterly dark. He _was_ the Dark Side, there has never been any trace of the light in him.’

Ben took a shaky breath. ‘I’ve had Snoke in my head since I was a baby.’

Everyone fell completely silent at that, nobody even breathed.

‘He came at night, when my mind had little defenses and he came since I was an infant, when I was too little to defend myself. I never slept a full night. I often woke up crying, and my parents thought I was having nightmares.’

He had to pause at that. ‘They were right, but it took a long while to realize they weren’t just nightmares. It was him, manipulating me -’

‘So you had no choice?’, Finn snapped. ‘Is that what you’re trying to say?’

‘No, I did have a choice.’, Ben said gently. ‘And I made the wrong one, over and over again. What I am trying to say is that Snoke was the monster that turned me into one. I killed him, and I deserve a little acknowledgement for it.’

‘How did you kill him?’, Connix asked. ‘If his control over you spanned so wildly, how did you find the strength to betray him?’

Ben looked down, hiding a smile. ‘I may have been the one to control the lightsaber that cut his body in half, but I didn't do it alone.’

Of course, everyone’s eyes turned to Rey. She didn’t meet anybody’s gaze, but she didn’t shy away either.

‘Look, guys.’, Poe said calmly. ‘This is not a discussion that will reach a conclusion now. We don’t trust Darth Boy, I get that. But he hasn’t killed us yet and I do trust the info he got. And, honestly, I trust his brain. It’s highly tactical, in there.’, he went as far as to poke Ben’s temple, who glared at him.

‘So here’s what I propose. We do this, because it is doable and it is a good plan. We leave him here, heavily guarded, in case he does betray us.’

Ben rolled his eyes at that. ‘It will not happen, but alright. If it makes everyone feel better’, he muttered, ‘I’ll just keep on being babysat at all times.’

Rey snorted at that, making him narrow his eyes at her. She turned to Poe. ‘Do you need me on the mission? Or do you need me to babysit?’

Several commanding officers, Poe included, loudly said ‘Babysit.’

Rey nodded, easily, ignoring the way Ben’s eyes lingered on her.

Poe took back the discussion, talking about who will go on the mission, but Rey and Ben wordlessly left, heading to his room.

He sat down heavily on the bed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the wall. BB-9 said _hug_ and pushed itself between his legs, and Rey sat herself down on the desk, that was now pushed between the bed’s end and the wall.

‘That went better than I expected.’, he finally said, not opening his eyes.

Rey hummed. ‘They’re rebels, at the end of the day. In order to survive, they can't afford to be hotheads and react with their hearts.’

‘Are you actually implying that Dameron isn’t a hothead?’

She stifled a laugh. ‘He is but, to be fair, he’s been toning it down since he had to become a leader.’

Ben tilted his head at that, nodding. ‘I’m sorry’, he finally looked at her, ‘that you’re stuck babysitting me.’

‘It’s the logical choice.’, she said evenly. ‘I’m the only one who stands a chance against you.’

Because she was watching him so closely, Rey saw the exact moment Ben’s walls came up. He was detaching himself from her, because he thought that was what she wanted. It might have been the best thing for them to do, but Rey couldn’t really stand the thought of it, not anymore.

So she smiled, lifting her legs up on the bed and gently poking at his thigh. He looked up at her, emotionless and clearly controlled.

‘I don’t mind. It gives us a chance to start training.’

He frowned at that. ‘Did I dream it, or did Luke’s lightsaber break?’

‘We broke it.’, Rey said gently. ‘I tried to fix it, but… whatever I do, it still won’t work.’

‘So the crystal’s damaged.’

She nodded. ‘It broke in half. A perfectly straight line, right down the middle.’

Ben’s eyebrows rose at that. ‘That’s interesting.’

‘I tried to… The Jedi texts didn’t help much.’

‘The what?’, Ben said slowly.

‘Ahch-To, the planet Luke was staying on, it was home to the first Jedi temple. There were books there, ancient. I stole them before I left.’

‘You stole them. From Luke.’, Ben sounded amused.

She smiled, just a little ashamed. ‘They talk a lot about crystals, but it’s just about different types and what they can do. There’s nothing about fixing broken ones.’

‘I don’t think it’s possible.’, Ben said kindly.

‘Did you build your own lightsaber?’, Rey couldn’t keep the excitement out of her words.

‘I built one when I was training. And the crossguard, later .’

‘Will you take a look at Luke’s? Maybe you’ll see something that I’ve missed.’

‘Of course.’, he nodded. ‘I’ll try.’

‘Thank you.’, Rey poked his thigh again.

 _Can I help too?_ , BB-9 beeped excitedly.

‘Sure.’, Ben snorted. ‘I could use your tools.’

_I have more tools than BB-8. We counted._

Rey was biting on her lip to keep from laughing, but Ben nodded very seriously.

‘You are a newer model than BB-8, the engineers have made some improvements.’

 _And I’m prettier_ , BB-9 preened.

‘Oh, I don’t know about that.’, Ben snorted. ‘Most people would think BB-8’s white and orange is more fun.’

_Fun, yes. But my black and silver is pretty. Elegant._

‘Elegant, right.’ He was having trouble containing his laughter.

 _You think black is pretty_ , BB-9 countered, kicking at Ben’s leg.

‘Fine, fine.’, he chuckled. ‘I do think black is pretty.’

 _So you think I’m pretty_.

‘Just a little.’, Ben teased, but the droid took great pleasure from it.

He patted at BB-9's dome, but his eyes moved to Rey, staying there, all amusement disappearing.

‘Please don’t look at me like that.’, he whispered.

Rey instantly looked away and tried to take control over herself. She knew how she looked at him, with fondness and longing, but there were moments, like this, when she couldn’t control herself.

 _Sunshine thinks you’re pretty_ , BB-9 beeped lowly, as close as it could get to a whisper.

She still heard it, and it made her blush instantly. Rey turned her face as far away from Ben as she could, but it was pretty pointless. Mercifully, he did not say anything.

Poe stopped by soon after, dragging the chair in front of Ben before sitting down on it.

‘Well?’, Ben straightened his back.

‘Everybody agreed to do it. It’s kind of a flawless plan, nobody could argue against it.’

‘It is a flawless plan’, Ben said slowly, ‘but it’s mostly my plan.’

‘We’re doing it.’, Poe countered strongly, before tempering himself down. ‘Look, Darth Boy, I know you’re not going to screw us over.’

Ben was surprised by his statement.

‘I’ve been spending a lot of time with you, buddy, I’ve learned a few things. But they haven’t and that’s why I have to make you keep your distance for a while longer.’

‘I don’t mind that.’, Ben said after a lengthy pause. ‘I don’t really care about what everyone else thinks.’

‘It’s not all bad.’, Poe snorted, going as far as pointing to Rey. ‘And some of the guys guarding you stopped complaining about it.’

Ben rolled his eyes.

‘BB-8 kinda likes you too.’, Poe teased next.

 _Yes yes yes_ , BB-9 beeped loudly. _BB-8 likes how you make Sunshine lighter_.

There was an awkward silence following the droid’s declaration, with Rey and Ben resolutely not looking at each other and Poe shamelessly looking between the two of them.

‘I’m not touching that with a ten foot pole.’, he finally deadpanned. ‘Are you going to start training?’

‘Yes.’, Rey said. ‘I need another day or two to set everything up.’

‘Yeah, no.’, Poe winced at her. ‘I’m going to need you to take point on this mission tomorrow, coordinate things from here.’

‘That’s alright.’, she frowned. ‘But I’ve never done that.’

‘What I meant’, he winced again, ‘is that I’m gonna need Darth Boy to take point on this mission, and for you to act like you’re taking point. Hearing your voice won’t affect the team. They’ll find out back at base, I’m sure everyone will be talking about it, but I need them focused while we’re out there.’

‘Fine by me.’, Rey nodded. ‘But I don’t…’, she shook her head. ‘This charade can’t go on forever.’

‘I know.’, Poe was quick to say, looking to Ben. ‘It doesn’t sit well with me, either.’

‘I appreciate it.’, he said sincerely. ‘But I know it’s necessary.’

‘I’m hoping it won’t be after this mission is a success.’

For a long while, Ben stared at Poe, something angry in his eyes. ‘You’re still going, aren’t you?’

‘Of course I’m going.’

‘You know’, Ben looked down at BB-9, ‘the reason why Leia didn’t go out on missions anymore wasn’t because of old age.’, he looked up straight into Poe’s eyes. ‘It was because she knew the Resistance needed a leader.’

Poe said nothing, glaring mildly, making it clear that this was a conversation they had before.

‘You’re stubborn’, Ben said with kindness, ‘and completely invested. But you’re also smart, so why are you being stupid about this?’

‘I’m not being stupid.’, Poe sighed. ‘I’m still going on the mission, but I’m not going to be stupid about it. This is not me being stubborn, this is me being understanding towards my team. You’re freaking everybody out, they need me there for reassurance.’

‘Fine.’, Ben’s voice was clipped. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was going to be so complicated.’

Poe snorted. ‘Was there ever anything about you that wasn’t complicated?’

He considered this. ‘I’ve always had a good complexion.’

The other man lost it at that, laughing hysterically. Rey could hear the two guards outside laughing as well, and really, the only reason she wasn’t laughing was because the shock was stronger.

 _Pretty_ , BB-9 beeped. _You’re pretty._

‘Men are not pretty, BB-9.’, Ben said patiently and completely serious. ‘Men are handsome.’

 _Handsome_ , it tried the word out. _Are women pretty?_

‘Yes.’, Ben nodded, as Poe said ‘Each and every one of them.’

Rey covered her face with her hands, feeling utterly embarrassed, even if she didn’t understand it.

She heard Poe move, and she felt him gently grabbing her head and kissing the top of it.

‘One last question.’, Ben said quickly. ‘Are you taking Finn with you?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘He’s going to be a good bargaining chip.’

‘What does that mean?’, Poe said a bit tightly.

‘He’s a legend among the Strormtroopers. Not a good one, usually, the traitor that betrayed the First Order. But I don’t think the Strormtroopers at Sanus will share that opinion.’

‘Right.’, Poe was probably nodding. ‘I’ve got work to do, see you later. And Ben’, he breathed in, ‘thank you.’

There was no answer, not verbally, and when Rey sneaked a peak, Ben was blinking very slowly at the open door.

‘Are you glitching?’, Rey whispered.

‘It’s the first time he used my real name.’

She breathed in. ‘I’m glad you’re thinking of it as your real name.’

He turned to look at her, quickly.

‘I’m really glad you’re here.’, she admitted, feeling terribly foolish for doing so.

But Ben’s expression softened instantly, emotions clear in his eyes. He then shook himself out of it, adopting a pretty smug expression.

‘We’ll see if you feel that way after we start training.’

The tensioned moment was gone, and Rey was thankful for it.

‘Speaking of’, she got off the desk, ‘I’m meeting Dalo soon. See you at lunch?’

He hesitated.

‘I’ll see you at lunch.’, she ordered, unperturbed.

 _I’ll drag him if I have to_ , the droid seemed excited for the prospect.

‘Thank you, BB-9. I appreciate your help.’

‘I don’t.’, Ben deadpanned.

Rey laughed, and left without another word.

Still, before she got to the stairs, she heard one of the guards teasing Ben.

‘Pal, that lady’s got you whipped.’

He didn’t respond, but Rey heard the distinct sound of the guard hitting the floor. He was laughing, though, so Ben clearly held back.

/∆\

Ben did show up for lunch. He sat down across the table from her, helped BB-9 get up on the chair next to him, put his berry pastry on Rey’s tray, and then just stared at her.

To be fair, she did look like a mess. She came straight from training, so her clothes were drenched in sweat, sticking grossly to her body. Her hair was wet as well, but she had taken it out of her buns as soon as she could. Her forehead still felt wet, even if she had wiped it, repeatedly, and she still felt overall hot, so her cheek were most likely red.

‘Good training session?’, Ben asked, wearily.

Rey just grunted.

He sighed, getting up. She watched him in confusion, as he headed back to the food line. He smiled the girl who was serving that day, and she laughed before heading to the back of the kitchen, coming out with a big pitcher of water and a mug.

‘Eat first, then slowly drink the water.’, Ben instructed. ‘Then, the tea.’

‘What sort of tea is it?’, she sniffed it.

‘Calming herbs. It will make you sleepy.’

Rey pulled a face.

‘You could do with a nap.’, he said somewhat sternly. Then, gentler, ‘Your hands are still shaking.’

 _Listen to Master Ben, Sunshine_ , BB-9 beeped at her. _He doesn’t want to hurt you_.

She relented, blindly stuffing her mouth with food to prevent herself from saying something stupid.

Ben pulled a face, half fond and half disturbed.

‘Charming.’

Rey quickly chewed and swallowed the food, glaring at him all the while. ‘I have no need to charm you.’

He nodded, clearly amused. ‘Would be nice, though.’

Rey threw a potato at his head. Of course, it didn’t meet its mark, Ben stopping it in midair and using the Force, gently lowering it to the table.

 _Food fight?_ , BB-9 asked.

‘No.’, Ben looked alarmed. ‘We’re not children.’

The droid beeped, clearly disappointed in the lack of fun.

‘Where’s everyone else?’, Ben asked, looking at the empty seats at the table.

‘They’re getting ready for tomorrow.’

‘Is Rose going as well?’

‘No, but she’s helping out.’

Ben nodded, and started eating. Of course, Rey was done with her food before he was, but she did as he said, slowly drinking the water and then, the tea. It was sweet and just the right amount of warm, by then.

‘I like it.’, she said.

He raised an eyebrow. ‘Is there any type of food you don’t like?’

‘Polystarch.’, she deadpanned.

‘I don’t know what that is.’, Ben admitted.

 _Instant bread_ , BB-9 explained. _Add water to the powder and mix._

‘It’s horrible.’, Rey sighed. ‘Especially when you have it every day for years.’

Ben looked at her, startled, clearly thinking about something. She didn’t need to ask what that thing was.

‘When we got to Takodana’, she said around a smile, ‘the first thing I said was that I never knew there was so much green in the galaxy. Han had the same expression on his face, as you do now.’

Ben was clearly pained by the mention of his father, but he moved past it.

‘I forget… how many things you haven’t seen. Ate. Experienced.’

_BB-8 told me that when they arrived here, Sunshine spent four hours in the fresher._

She wasn’t too embarrassed by that, it was still one of the best experiences of her life, washing with warm, unlimited water.

‘And then I spent the next two in the river.’, Rey grinned. ‘And another one in the fresher, washing off the water of the river. It was great.’

Ben was smiling at her, the type of look that when she supported it, he asked her not to look at him like that. Rey didn’t say anything, sipping on her tea.

‘You’d like Naboo.’, he finally said. ‘Mountains of green that you can hike on. Cities built at their base with delicious foods and animated markets. And there’s the Lake County, every house has a terrace and a deck.’

 _He learned how to swim there_ , BB-9 added.

‘Was it Han? That taught you how to swim?’, she asked gently.

Ben snorted. ‘He didn’t have the patience for it. It was Chewie.’

Rey’s eyes grew wide at that, trying to picture it.

‘It was an experience.’, Ben nodded gravely.

‘We grew up so differently.’, she couldn’t help but say.

 _Every person is different_ , BB-9 beeped.

Ben looked to the droid, even as he addressed Rey.

‘We did grow up galaxies apart. And we are so very different. It’s confusing.’

‘What is?’

He still didn’t look at her, and his voice dropped to an almost whisper. ‘We shouldn’t be the way we are. So connected, our fates intertwined.’

Rey’s heart was beating fast and she could not look away from Ben. There was something so very soft in his eyes, soft but powerful, and Rey was rattled by the knowledge that she put it there.

That didn’t make it any less true.

‘The Force thinks my place is by your side.’ Rey knew this to be true. She felt it, deep inside her chest, every time she meditated next to Ben, every time he looked at her, every time he touched her, every time she thought of him.

 _It’s a good place to be_ , BB-9 said with cheerful beeps.

All the tension left Rey and Ben both, then. He chuckled, gently patting his droid.

‘How about we go on a walk?’, he asked it.

‘Oh, I forgot!’, Rey realized. ‘I promised you a walk, BB-9.’

_Another day, Sunshine. You need to sleep now._

‘But-’

‘It’s alright.’, Ben smiled at her. ‘You do need to rest.’

‘But I wanted-’

‘We’ll hold you up to it on another day.’

She yawned, making Ben smirk at her.

‘Go to sleep, Rey.’, he said gently. ‘I’ll see you tonight for meditation?’

‘Yes, alright. Yes.’, she yawned again, making Ben snicker.

She hip checked him on her way out.

 _Bye, Sunshine!_ , BB-9 beeped loudly. _I hope you have nice dreams_.

Rey smiled, of course she did.

/∆\

Ben was unusually quiet that evening, but she let him be. Still, as she walked him to his room, she asked.

‘How nervous are you about the mission tomorrow?’

‘I’m not nervous about the mission. I think the mission will go smoothly and it will be a success. What I’m worried about are the people.’

‘Why?’

‘If anything goes wrong, if there’s anything unexpected, it’s going to break on my head. And their reaction to that, I’m not looking forward to it. I know Dameron doesn’t want it, either.’

Before she realized it, Rey grabbed a hold of his hand, both of them stopping in the middle of the hallway. The two guards that were waiting in front of Ben’s room saw them, but they both turned their backs, giving them the impression of privacy.

‘What is it?’, Ben whispered.

‘You’re terribly strong.’

He looked at her like she was insane. It felt like she was, but it didn’t stop her.

‘You have been living a hell in the past years and-’

‘It wasn’t that bad.’

‘It was _a_ hell, even if it was one you helped make. But still, after everything, you still find the strength to go through all of this, as well.’

He squeezed her fingers, smiling a little. ‘Rey, I don’t need to find the strength. She shipped herself to me in a Millennium Falcon pod.’

In a blur, Ben kissed her forehead and did not turn around to look at her again, closing the door to his room.

Rey didn’t move, not until one of the guards kind of gruffly wished her goodnight.

/∆\

They were both in the hanger as the team left for the mission.

Finn hugged her very tightly, and for a long while, moving to Rose afterward. Poe shook hands with Ben, then hugged Rey, as well.

‘You’re antenna’s bent.’, she heard Ben say. Still in Poe’s arms, she watched as he crouched down and straightened BB-8’s antenna.

She smiled, remembering that those were the first words she had ever said to the droid.

 _Thank you, Darth Boy_ , BB-8 beeped happily. _Very few people notice when that happens._

‘No problem, BB-8.’, came the very soft response.

Poe finally let go of her. ‘Good luck.’, she smiled at him.

‘Don’t go falling asleep now.’, he threw her a look. ‘We need you in our ears.’

Rey nodded strongly and seriously, even as Poe smirked and winked at her and Ben both.

They were off soon enough, a few X-Wings and the transporter Ben came in. With Ben on one side and Rose at her other side, they stared as the ships jumped into hyperspace.

‘Rose’, Ben said gently, ‘everything will be alright.’

Rey turned to look at the other woman, only now noticing how anxious Rose was, how scared. She understood it well, knew what being light years away from Finn felt like, and she supposed the other woman had it worse than Rey ever did, considering the nature of Rose and Finn’s relationship.

‘Do you trust Finn? And Poe, and the rest of the team?’, Ben went on.

‘Of course I do!’, Rose’s answer was strong. ‘It’s just that the last time he was in a fight, Finn tried to fly himself straight into the middle of the miniature Death Star cannon and I had to ram my ship into his to stop him from killing himself.’

There was a pause, Ben blinking rapidly.

‘Rose’, he smirked, ‘wipe that nervous expression off your face and trust your boyfriend to do everything in his power to come back to you.’

Both of the woman stared at him, Rose in shock, Rey in incredulity.

Ben raised an eyebrow. ‘Wasn’t there something we were supposed to be doing now?’

 _Coordinate the mission_ , BB-9 helpfully supplied.

Rey shook her head and headed to the command room, everyone else silently following her.

/∆\

‘This was too easy.’, Finn said a few hours later. ‘There were just two guards outside, and the place seems deserted.’

Rey looked to Ben, who mouthed ‘underground’.

‘Security will most probably be focused on the underground chambers.’, Rey said. ‘That’s where they keep and treat the injured Strormtroopers.’

Things were silent for a long, long while, then Poe’s confused voice came through.

‘Solo, what’s Last Light protocol?’

All the color drained from his face. ‘Self destruct sequence. You have 20 minutes before the entire base blows up.’

‘Shit!’, Poe said with feeling, and started shouting.

Nobody closed off their com links, so the command room was filled with 20 people yelling over each other, with the sounds of blasters being fired and footsteps running. Rey couldn’t understand what was happening, and she knew that if she asked, she’d just distract the team.

4 minutes in, Poe said ‘be right back’ and the coms fell silent.

Ben growled under his breath, and when she looked at him, Rey saw that his fists were tightened in anger, even as his eyes betrayed fear.

The next half hour was spent in complete silence. There were a lot of people in the command room, most of everyone that was left on base, and they were all staring at Ben. He, however, was not meeting anyone’s eyes, compulsively looking at the schematics shown on the holotable.

Rey was surprised to notice that his walls were down. She didn’t stay away this time, she closed her eyes and as gently as she could, skimmed the surface of Ben’s thoughts. He was anxious for the fate of the mission, and he was scared for the people on it, but most of all, he felt guilty for sending the Resistance straight into an explosion.

She opened her eyes, and Ben was looking at her. He didn’t look angry at the intrusion.

‘I thought we weren’t doing that.’, he whispered.

‘ _You_ said you weren’t going to do it. I agreed to no such thing.’

Ben smiled, just a tiny uplift of his lips. ‘That’s not fair, Rey.’

 _All’s fair in love and war_ , BB-9 reminded them that they weren’t alone.

 ** _Which one is this?_** , Ben asked inside of Rey’s mind.

She didn’t answer, looking away. Thankfully, Poe’s voice filled the room soon enough.

‘We’re all safe and accounted for. SanusLab is up in flames and we’re coming home.’

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and people started clapping. Ben spoke over the ruckus.

‘Dameron, what happened? Only very high ranking officers have the codes for Last Light, there weren’t supposed to be any on Sanus.’

‘Yeah, about that.’, Poe breathed in. ‘We got Hux.’

Ben startled, visibly. ‘What?’

‘He was there on inspection, he activated the self destruct sequence. But we got him. He’s mostly unharmed, but unconscious and cuffed.’

Rey was looking at Ben’s face, so she saw clearly, confusion making way for understanding, turning slowly but surely into something… dark. Mischievous. He smirked, and it looked like a burning sun.

‘Good job, General Dameron.’, was all he said, but it made Poe snort.

‘Keep your distance when we land, I don’t want Hux to know we got you, just yet.’

‘Of course.’, Ben was quick to nod.

‘Rey’, Poe went on, ‘get the infirmary ready. It’s mostly scrapes and bruises, but we’re going to need all hands on deck.’

‘Will do. See you soon.’

Poe returned the sentiment and closed off the communication, and Rey turned to look at the room. Everybody was still staring at Ben, but it was different now. Some were surprised, some were relieved, but Rey extended her senses and in the Force, she felt a deep sense of respect, and it was all aimed at Ben.

‘Looks like you didn’t betray us.’, Delany said, glaring mildly.

Ben raised an eyebrow at him, unperturbed. ‘I told you I wouldn’t.’

‘Yes, well.’, the older man bristled. ‘Your word didn’t stand for much.’ He extended a hand over the holotable. ‘It does now.’

With a smirk, Ben shook the other man’s hand.

Everybody started moving then, getting caught up in setting everything up for the team’s arrival. Ben retired to his room, and Rey was quick to head to the infirmary.

/∆\

It took a few long hours until Rey had no more work to do. Starving, she grabbed food for two and headed to Ben’s room, updating him as they ate, sitting side by side on the bed.

The medics on Sanus fled, as did some of the Strormtroopers. The rest, about 30 of them, joined the Resistance. Well, it was more like they joined Finn. They were in a bad shape, beaten and bruised, clearly having been tortured, but they were safely tucked away in the infirmary, Finn making rounds between them all.

Poe had been locked away in an interrogation room with Hux since they landed, and BB-8 kept updating Rey. The First Order general was not talking. He was insulting Poe and screaming in anger a lot, but he was not giving away any information. It was to be expected, Rey thought, and Ben agreed with her.

‘After things calm down a little’, she told him gently, ‘tomorrow, or the day after that, Finn wants you to meet the Strormtroopers.’

‘Why?’, he frowned. ‘They’re scared of me.’

‘Maybe’, she winced, ‘but seeing the mighty Kylo Ren helping the Resistance, it might make the blow a little bit easier for them.’

Ben took a deep breath. ‘If nothing else, I have to, somehow, make them not be afraid of me.’

‘That would be nice, yes.’, Rey smiled, encouraging.

 _I can help!_ , BB-9 went as far as plastering itself to Ben’s legs.

‘Of course you’ll help.’, Ben sighed.

 _Is BB-8 hurt?_ , the droid turned to look at Rey.

‘No, BB-8 is fine.’, she reassured. ‘It’s just staying with Poe as he’s interrogating Hux.’

_I hope BB-8 electrocutes Hux._

Ben nodded seriously at that, even as Rey snorted.

‘Don’t like Hux, do you?’

_No no no, he’s mean. Kicks, screams, calls me names and makes Master Ben angry._

‘You don’t like Hux either?’, Rey asked Ben.

‘I hate him.’, the man deadpanned. ‘I have despised him since the moment we met and since then, he has done nothing but step on my toes and make my anger spike. There was one thing Hux was ever good at, and I’ll give him that.’, Ben sighed. ‘Sometimes, he managed to make me come out of an… emotional state, brought me back to reality.’

He looked to Ray, smirking slightly. ‘It still feels terribly pleasant choking him with the Force.’

‘Oh gods, Ben!’, she couldn’t help but whine, kicking at his knee.

‘It’s true.’, he laughed, playfully pushing her away. ‘I can’t control how I feel.’

That shut her up, and it shut her up quickly. But Ben was still smiling.

‘Hux being here, it changes everything.’

‘I know.’, she nodded. ‘It’s a good thing, isn’t it?’

‘Doesn’t make things less complicated, but yes, I think it’s good. Without a leader, the First Order will scramble. The commanding officers will argue over who gets to lead and-’

‘That gives us a window of opportunity.’, Rey concluded.

‘Yes. Let’s see how we can seize that opportunity.’

They were silent for a while, but then Ben hesitantly looked at her.

‘There aren’t any guards outside my door.’

‘No, Poe wanted everyone available staying with the Strormtroopers and Hux. Just to be safe.’ She winced. ‘I’m going to have to sit with you.’

BB-9 made a series of loud excited beeps at that, moving from between Ben’s legs to hers. She patted its dome, smiling down at the droid, doing her very best not to look at Ben’s reaction.

‘You should get some rest, Rey.’, he said in an almost whisper.

She shook her head.

‘When’s the last time you sat down?’, he asked a bit more gruffly.

Rey winced. ‘I slept last night.’

He snorted at that, got up and took away their trays, piling them on the desk. He then very pointedly took his pillow and threw it at Rey. He dragged the chair at the end of the bed, getting comfortable on it, with his legs crossed at the ankles on the edge of the bed.

 _Sleep, Sunshine!_ , BB-9 ordered.

‘You don’t want to get BB-9 mad, do you?’, Ben teased.

Rey relented. She lied down in bed, on top of the covers, pushing her back to the wall and curling her knees up to her chest.

‘I promise I’ll stay out of your head.’, Ben said gently.

She blinked at him. ‘Honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind until you said it.’

He looked away from her. ‘I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.’

Rey didn’t answer, closing her eyes and willing her thoughts to quiet down. Surprisingly, she managed to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Luke's crystal is not damaged, at least it looks intact in the movie and it's not mentioned in the book. But. But! There's a reason I broke it. Not terribly important, but I still wanted it. You'll see why later :).


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They deal with Hux, even if the prisoner isn’t at all forthcoming with information, and they also deal with all the Stormtroopers that deserted. But Rey and Ben also start training together, which doesn’t go as well as she thought it will. There’s a plan for a new mission, and it involves some preparation and a blast from Ben’s past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note to self: Don't save all the chapters in draft, because when you post it, the "date updated" remains the day you saved the draft, not the day you post it. 
> 
> Trigger warning for a mention or two to non-con.

 

 

Rey woke up to BB-9 beeping _It’s time to open your eyes._

She did so, looking in confusion at Poe, who was in the middle of the room, hand over his mouth, clearly trying not to laugh. She looked to where he was pointing at, and saw that Ben had fallen asleep as well. In the chair, his arms crossed over his chest, head bent back, mouth open. He was snoring lightly and drooling.

Master of Darkness, he was not. She couldn’t help but smile.

BB-9 made its way to his side, pushing its dome to his legs over and over again. _Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up._

Ben gruned, pushing BB-9 away.

 _Idiot Master Ben_ , the droid countered. _You’re drooling!_

That woke him up, and he blinked at Rey for a while, before turning to Poe.

‘Shut up.’, Ben grunted, even if Poe didn’t say anything. He was laughing, silently, but he managed to calm down.

‘I need you to come with me.’, he told Ben. ‘Hux is being a spectacular kind of asshole, and I need you to take him down a notch.’

Ben got up terribly quick, clearly excited by the prospect. But he hesitated.

‘Can Rey join us?’

Poe raised an eyebrow.

‘Hux hates her.’, Ben explained. ‘He thinks she killed Snoke, so he probably hates Rey even more than he hates me.’

‘You wanna mess with him.’, Poe narrowed his eyes.

‘Very much so.’

 Poe snorted, but he also urged Rey to come along.

/∆\

The interrogation room was small, but spacious enough to fit a table and a few chairs on either side of it. It was also surrounded by mirrors, Hux could only see his reflection, but everyone outside could look in.

It was the first time Rey saw Hux and he wasn’t really what she expected. The all black clothes, yes, the bruised eye, of course, she knew Finn was the one to knock him out. The angry expression on his face, that was a given.

But… ‘Why is his hair so red?’

Ben and Poe turned to her, mildly startled.

‘No, seriously.’, Rey went on. ‘Is that normal?’

‘Uncommon.’, Ben finally said. ‘But normal enough.’

‘It’s kind of… pretty.’, she admitted, making them stare at her with disturbed looks.

 _Men aren’t pretty, men are handsome._ , BB-9 beeped, reminding Rey of that conversation Ben had with it.

‘I wouldn’t go that far.’, she scrunched up her nose. ‘His hair is pretty, but he’s not that handsome.’

‘Could we maybe focus?’, Ben said gruffly, prompting Poe to wordlessly open the door to the interrogation room.

‘You’re wasting your time, Dameron.’, Hux growled. ‘Nothing you can do will make me-’

He cut himself off, as Ben stepped into the room, followed closely by BB-9.

Poe sat down in the chair across the table from Hux, BB-9 headed to the corner where BB-8 was waiting, Ben leaned back against one of the mirrors, having a clear vantage point of Hux, so Rey sat down in the chair next to Poe.

Hux was staring at Ben, in shock. When his eyes moved from his face down his body, his expression turned into one of understanding. There were no cuffs on Ben, no bruises, he was wearing civilian clothes. Clearly, he wasn’t a prisoner.

‘Of course.’, Hux breathed out. ‘You ran straight into your mother’s arms, didn’t you? Except, no, she died. So who did you run to, Ren?’

Ben said nothing, not even a sketch of an expression on his face.

Hux’s eyes moved to Rey. ‘Ah, yes. Obviously, the scavenger bitch that-’

He was cut off by all the oxygen rushing out of his lungs. His eyes grew wide, with fear and anger, as he was struggling, unsuccessfully, to draw air.

When his face started turning red, Poe threw Ben a look. ‘That’s enough.’

Hux gulped air, glaring at Ben, who just smirked, lightly. ‘Oh, I wasn’t doing that.’

The truth was, it came very easily to Rey. Even if it was a way she had never used the Force before, it wasn’t difficult for her to stop Hux from breathing. She wouldn’t have actually hurt him, there was no danger of her losing control, but she couldn’t stand to be called such a horrible thing. 

‘Was that supposed to scare me?’, Hux’s anger spiked, as he narrowed his eyes at her.

Rey tilted her head. ‘Are you scared, General Hux?’

‘Not of a little girl with illusions of grandeur.’

‘A little girl who killed your Supreme Leader.’, Poe pointed out.

Hux rolled his eyes. ‘We all know that’s not what happened.’ He looked to Ben. ‘I salvaged the footage, I knew all along you betrayed Supreme Leader Snoke.’

 _He’s lying_ , BB-9 beeped. _There was no such footage on the First Order database, or in his personal hard drives._

Hux turned to look at BB-9, pulling a disgusted face. ‘Why in the bloody hell did you bring the broken droid with you?’

‘How else was I supposed to deliver all the First Order plans to the Resistance?’, Ben drawled out, slowly, taking great pleasure in the way Hux’s face lost all its color, once again.

Slowly, menacingly, Ben made his way to the table, stopping by Hux’s side, looming over him, forcing the other man to awkwardly look up.

‘This is not an interrogation.’, Ben said evenly. ‘Between Rey and I, we have got everything that we needed from you the moment we stepped into the room. We don’t need to scare you, either. Do you know why?’

He smiled then, a violent thing. ‘Because you lost, Hux. You lost everything, and the destruction of the First Order won’t take too long, now.’

Hux huffed, angrily. ‘The First Order will come for me and-’

Ben shook his head. ‘They’ll be too busy fighting over who gets to lead in your wake.’

The other man didn’t argue against it. His anger spiked, and he lashed out.

‘Traitor!’, he yelled, spit flying in the air.

Ben smiled. ‘Yes I am. It’s a… surprisingly nice feeling, being on the good side of this war. FN-2187 was up to something.’

‘Your emotions have always bested you, Ren, and they will always be your weakness.’

‘It doesn’t look like a weakness, from where I’m standing.’, Rey couldn’t help but point out.

Hux turned his glare on her. ‘Foolish girl, do you actually think he cares?’

‘Well you aren’t dead yet’, Rey smiled sarcastically, ‘so he must care at least a little.’

‘Minuscule.’, Ben piped up.

‘So, General Hugs.’, Poe said after a lengthy pause. ‘Anything you want to share with the class?’

‘The Resistance will burn-’

‘Anything new? I’ve heard that one before.’

Hux growled. ‘You’ll never win.’

Poe rolled his eyes, turning to Ben, after. ‘Got everything you need?’

Ben nodded, but hesitated after. He grabbed a hold of the back of Hux’s head, looking straight into his eyes before wordlessly slamming his head on the table. He broke the other man’s nose, blood pouring instantly. As Hux moaned in pain, BB-9 said _asshole_ , made its way between his legs and electrocuted him, making him yelp.

‘We can go, now.’, Ben said without any emotions.

Once they were outside of the interrogation room, Poe glared at Ben. ‘Was that really necessary?’

‘Not really.’, Ben tilted his head. ‘It felt good, though.’

‘Fine.’, Poe sighed. ‘Did you really get anything from him?’

‘Fear. I saw the First Order scrambling after he ran me out, apparently they didn’t agree with Hux’s leadership.’

‘So they were already weakened’, Poe said slowly, ‘even before we got him.’

‘Yes. It will only get worse now. The generals, they’re not… They are smart, but every single one of them cares more about their position and their ego. It’s a big advantage for us.’

‘So we strike again now?’

Ben shook his head. ‘Not now, but soon. And when we do, we’re doing it with the Strormtroopers.’

‘Is that wise?’, Rey asked. ‘They’re recovering.’

‘When they’ll be able to’, Ben smiled, ‘they’re going to be a massive blow to the First Order’s ego.’

‘Okay.’, Poe nodded, clapping Ben on the shoulder. ‘We’ll talk later, I really need some sleep right now.’

‘Go rest.’, Rey was quick to say. ‘We’ll stick around, if Hux tries anything. I should probably get him a med droid, too.’

Poe sighed. But he kissed Rey’s temple, thanking her and Ben both before leaving.

Rey rounded on Ben, glaring at him.

‘Don’t look at me like that.’, he snorted. ‘You were the one who chocked him.’

‘I was just going to say that we need to start training soon. That’, she pointed to where Hux was still holding onto his bleeding nose, ‘was not a healthy coping mechanism.’

‘It felt good, though, right?’, he raised an eyebrow.

Rey sighed, but nodded, making Ben grin.

/∆\

Finn came for them a few hours later, politely asking Ben if he was willing to visit the infirmary. He had told the Strormtroopers that Kylo Ren was now helping the Resistance, but they were having a hard time believing it.

Even if Ben was clearly nervous, he easily agreed. He relaxed, a little, when Finn asked Rey to come as well, the men being interested to meet the Jedi that helped him.

‘Just don’t do anything stupid.’, Finn mumbled under his breath.

‘Like what?’, Rey frowned.

‘Kill them.’, the other man deadpanned, glaring at Ben.

‘If I didn’t kill Hux, I’m surely not going to kill a bunch of men recovering from physical and emotional torture.’

That surprised Finn, but he said nothing, leading the way into the infirmary.

Rey’s breath caught. Most of them were still wearing the Strormtrooper gear, helmets and blasters sat on nightstands and the floo. The men were in bad shape, clearly sleep deprived and judging by the amount of tubes going into their arms, they were probably malnourished and dehydrated. There was only one woman in the group, and she looked by far the worst, with her white armor off, revealing bruises and cuts all over, and Rey noticed that the med droids put a heated pillow over her stomach.

She winced, she couldn't help it. Finn wordlessly put a hand on her lower back, urging her to move forward.

BB-9 cut off her path, wildly rolling around all over the room, making sure not to actually touch anybody.

 _Look look look!_ , it beeped excitedly. _Look at all the new friends I can make!_

‘BB-9, we’ve talked about this.’, Ben said patiently, clearly amused. ‘A friendship is a two way street, the other person has to want to be your friend.’

_I know, but I’m adorable, everyone wants to be my friend._

Ben groaned at that, embarrassed by his droid.

‘Maybe you could let everyone settle in first, BB-9.’, Rey suggested.

The droid beeped its acceptance, before making its way back to Ben’s side.

‘Hux told us you were dead.’, one of the men said, staring at him.

‘Not for his lack of trying, but as you can see, I’m not.’

‘And you’re… you’re really…’, the man speaking looked terribly young, even younger than Rey. He had a pair of startling green eyes, and it was clear that he was rattled. ‘You’re really with the Resistance?’

Ben nodded.

 _I helped!_ , BB-9 beeped proudly.

‘They brought us information.’, Finn explained. ‘Stolen from the First Order, schematics that helped us plan the attack on SanusLab.’

‘Master Ren-’, another man started, but Ben cut him off.

‘Please don’t call me that. My name is Ben.’, he took a deep breath. ‘Ben Solo.’

That, more than anything before, shocked the people into silence. Rey saw that the woman was crying. She had long blonde hair, that was tangled and knotted, but as she cried, she was running her fingers through it.

Wordlessly, Rey headed to the part of the infirmary which kept their toiletries supply. She smiled kindly at the woman, giving her a hair comb.

‘You’re her.’, the woman told her. ‘You’re the scavenger that killed Snoke.’

She shook her head. ‘It was Ben, actually.’

‘Rey helped.’, he was quick to say.

The woman took the comb. Rey smiled widely at her, taking her lower bun down and giving her the hair tie, as well.

‘What’s going to happen to us now?’, the young man asked.

Finn opened his mouth, but Rey cut him off. ‘How about some food?’

They all stared at her. ‘You should eat, while you let the medicine do its job. And then, you deserve to rest, charge your batteries.’

‘And after that?’, a very large man asked, still staring at Ben. ‘You’re going to keep attacking the First Order, aren’t you? Especially now that you have Hux in custody.’

Ben nodded. ‘That’s the general plan.’

‘Will you make us fight?’, the young man asked.

‘Nobody is going to make you do anything.’, Ben said very strongly. Finn was the most startled by it, staring at the other man with wide eyes.

‘I want to fight.’, the large man said strongly, even if his hands were shaking.

Several other men reiterated the statement, making Ben smile.

‘Focus on gathering your strengths, first.’, he said with kindness. ‘I know Sanus was a horrible place. Please focus your energy on moving past it, on getting better. After that, General Dameron… he’s an understanding man, and he’ll help you with whatever you want to do.’

‘Ben.’, the woman said very slowly. ‘Everyone of my superiors always said that even with your temper, you have a great tactical mind.’

He said nothing, just shrugged a shoulder.

‘Does the Resistance actually have a chance against the First Order?’

‘Tactically speaking, yes.’, Ben answered quickly. ‘But in my time here, I’ve learned that tactics aren’t the most important thing. Rebellions are built on hope and me coming here, Finn punching Hux into unconsciousness, the strength you all have shown by agreeing to come here…’, he smiled at that. ‘That’s hope if I ever saw it. Can’t you feel it?’

‘Is that what this is?’, the woman chuckled weekly.

‘Also’, Ben was still smiling, ‘you should keep in mind that these people live on a constant emotional rollercoaster. That’s going to take some getting used to.’, he pulled a face.

The young man snorted at that, covering his face with his hands quickly after, embarrassed by his outburst. But it was alright, because several people chuckled.

‘I’ll go to the kitchen.’, Rey said. ‘Have them bring something over.’

The young man groaned. ‘Please tell me it’s not Polystarch.’

Rey stared at him for a beat. ‘They tried. Argued for a low price and long lasting properties. I burned the first shipment.’

‘Really?’, his eyes were wide.

She nodded gravely.

‘She also yelled at Poe for ten minutes straight.’, Finn piped up. ‘He promised never to buy it again just to shut her up.’

‘As I said’, Ben piped up, ‘Poe Dameron is an understanding man. He won’t make your life here difficult, and nobody else will, either.’

‘Then we won’t do anything to make their life difficult’, the largest man said, ‘you have our word on that.’

Rey and Ben left soon after, both of them smiling.

/∆\

Rey spent the rest of the day in the hanger, in the small corner she used as her makeshift workshop, managing to finish the practice sabers. She asked Ben to meet her in the training room earlier than their usual meditation time, and he showed up right on time, with BB-9 and Dalo trailing after him.

Ben just stared at her.

She had two lightsaber looking things in her hands, made out of mix-and-match scrap metal she found around the base. The shapes of them were exact replicas of Ben’s crossguard lightsaber and of Luke’s one. They were rough looking, of course, but Rey believed they’ll get the job done.

‘The weight on yours is off.’, she extended the crossguard to him.

He didn’t take it. ‘What?’

‘With Luke’s, I managed to make the weight of it similar to the real thing. But with yours, no matter how much I added, it still feels lighter than it should.’

Slowly, Ben took the crossguard. He took a step back and spun it around a few times, in controlled movements.

‘It’s not real weight,’, he kept moving. ‘It feels heavier because of the crystal. It was broken to begin with, I made the lightsaber with a damaged Kyber crystal. It’s why I had to make it a crossguard, too, to release the extra energy.’

‘Oh.’, Rey blinked.

Ben met her eyes.

‘I was extremely surprised you were able to control it. Nobody else could.’

Dalo gasped, extremely fake. ‘Are you saying that she’s strong with the Force?’

Ben threw him a look. ‘You might want to step back.’

The other man snickered, but he did make his way to the back of the room and made himself comfortable on the floor, clearly excited to watch. BB-9 followed him.

Ben turned back to Rey, raising his eyebrows. ‘Come on, then.’

She took a deep breath and adopted a fighting stance.

‘No.’, Ben said strongly, making her frown at him.

‘This will take a while.’, he sighed, putting his saber down, and Rey couldn’t help but feel affronted.

But it was gone quickly, because Ben started telling her what she was doing wrong. He was just the right amount of patient and authoritative, and he explained things to Rey, as best as he could. How she should hold her legs, her arms, where she should center her weight in different moments of a fight. They went through a few simple movements, that were usually meant for Jedi to familiarize themselves with the lightsaber, Ben said. Kind of useless, considering Rey didn’t have a lightsaber, but even from those exercises, she did learn something.

‘You fight rough.’, Ben said at one point. ‘It’s instinctive, and it’s clear that you were never really taught. You only learned because you had to, and honestly, your moves are heavily influenced by your double spear. I don’t know if we’ll be able to fully deter you from that, but it’s something we will work on.’

‘Have you actually got a plan for my training?’, Rey asked, incredulous.

‘Maybe.’, Ben didn’t shy away. He also ordered her to repeat the past ten moves, from memory.

By the end of the two hours, Rey was supporting a pretty healthy sweat and there was not a drop of discomfort on Ben. She was only mildly annoyed.

‘I thought the point was to train _together_.’

‘We’ll do that.’, he tried to ease her. ‘In a day or two, tops. You are a fast learner.’

‘You’re just saying that to make me feel better.’, she mumbled under her breath.

Ben still heard her. He didn’t answer, but he smiled at her, sweetly and innocently. It still looked kind of deranged.

‘Do you still want to meditate?’, she finally asked.

Ben nodded, sitting down on the mats and getting comfortable.

‘And that’s my queue to leave.’, Dalo said.

‘Goodnight.’, Rey smiled at him. ‘Thank you for sticking around.’

He winked at her, clapped Ben on the back and was off. Wordlessly, Rey and he slipped into meditation and not much else was said, not even when she walked him to his room.

/∆\

Rey spent the next morning caring for the Strormtroopers. There was a major change, in them, from the last time she saw them.

Everyone looked better, and Finn explained to Rey that they were all healthy, physically. Mentally, there was still some work to do, most of the men were showing signs of post-battle stress, on various levels. The woman had it the worst, Finn said. He didn’t know for sure, but he suspected something really terrible happened to her on Sanus. Rey shivered at the thought.

Still, the general moral was up, and everyone was a little excited to introduce themselves. Apparently, they had spent the night choosing names for themselves.

The youngest of them was Mally, and he grinned wildly as he told Rey this, green eyes sparkling brightly. She had been right, he was two years younger than her, and it showed by the way it seemed like he was trying really hard not to jump out of his skin in excitement.

The meanest and most scary looking man of them introduced himself as Raf. He was incredibly tall, looming over Rey with dark skin and dark eyes. But there was kindness in them, and he shook her hand very gently, like he was taking great care in not hurting her.

Another man stood out to Rey. He had olive skin and a mess of dark curls on his head, that he had managed to tame into a bun. His amber eyes were warm as they watched her. His name was Bodhi and she will never forget meeting him.

‘That’s an interesting name.’, she couldn’t help but point out.

‘It’s historical.’, he smiled at her, going on to telling the story of an Empire pilot who took the plans for the Death Star and was part of a team that fought to the death, for the Rebels. He came up with the codename Rogue and Rey knew it was still used in the Resistance, sometimes. They got the Death Star plans to Leia Organa, and Rey knew the rest of the story, had managed to get 3PO to tell her, late one night.

But the way Bodhi spoke, it will never leave Rey. He had passion, and strength, and the urge to be as good as Bodhi Rook was, to help the Resistance as much as he could. Also, she couldn’t unsee the similarities, between Rook and Ben, and she hoped Ben wouldn’t share his fate.

When the only woman of the group came to Rey side, she couldn’t help but stare. She looked a lot better than the day before, washed up, wearing clean clothes. She was beautiful, light blue eyes sparkling with light, even if Rey did see there was darkness in them as well, something that the other woman was struggling to push back.

‘I like your hair.’, Rey said immediately. The long blonde locks were now untangled and shiny, pulled back in two braids that started from the top of her head.

‘You’re not getting your hair tie back, I’m sorry.’

Rey laughed at that, unperturbed.

‘Call me Vega.’

‘Vega.’, Rey nodded. ‘How are you feeling today?’

‘Better.’, the woman’s voice lowered. ‘The med droids said there isn’t any lasting physical damage’, she placed a hand over her stomach, ‘but there is still an issue of… possibility.’

Unfortunately, Rey understood exactly what Vega meant. She had been raped on Sanus, and the possibility of being with child was real.

Rey grabbed her hand, drawing it away from Vega’s stomach and squeezing tightly. ‘The man who did it… do you know what happened to him?’

‘It was one of the Strormtroopers guarding us.’, she nodded. ‘I saw him on the way out, dead.’

‘Good.’, Rey said slowly. She didn’t like the loss of a life, but there was a big difference, in following orders in fear of your life, and doing despicable things for the fun of it.

‘I know it won’t be easy’, Rey went on, ‘it will be hard for you to move on. But we’re here for you, whatever you need. That’s the thing about the Resistance’, she smiled, ‘you won’t ever feel alone here.’

Vega smiled, going as far as hugging Rey.

After that, she and Finn got to work. They set everyone up with rooms on the same level as Ben, not necessarily just because there was available space there, but, as Raf pointed out, because it was easier to guard all of the wild cards if they were on the same floor.

It took a while, to get sheets and blankets for everyone, to help them make the beds and shuffle furniture around, find clothes and get toiletries. Even though everyone was in good spirits, they were still recovering, clearly tired and trying to hide it.

Rey and Finn left them to rest as soon as they were done. She hesitated, for a little while, because Ben hadn’t shown his face in all the time she spent on the floor, and she knew he was there. She was a little worried, of the apprehension the new guests will have towards Ben, and of whatever guilt he was going to be feeling.

But just as they were leaving, she heard Mally yell, really loudly, without even bothering to make his way out of his room and into the hallway. ‘Yo, Ben, Hux said you snore!’

Rey and Finn looked at each other, in silence, as the entire floor waited for Ben’s response.

Ben actually made his way out into the hallway, frowning, BB-9 following close behind.

 ** _Which room is he in?_** , he asked Rey in her head. She wordlessly pointed.

Looking down to BB-9, Ben nodded once, slowly. The droid made its way to Mally’s room, and the silence of the floor was filled with the sound of the boy laughing, begging for forgiveness. There was also the distinct sound of BB-9 electrocuting something, but Mally kept on laughing, clearly not hurt. It all ended with a loud thud, probably Mally hitting the ground, and him yelling ‘I’m sorry, I yield!’

BB-9 let out a victorious series of beeps, quickly making its way back to Ben’s side. He grinned down at his droid, patting its dome a few times. ‘My knight in shining armor, thank you.’

 _You’re welcome!_ _That was fun._

‘No, it wasn’t!’, Mally’s voice sounded a little muffled.

‘It sure was, buddy!’, an undisclosed someone responded.

_Can we do it again?_

‘Maybe later.’, Ben snorted.

They moved to go back to the room, but Ben turned to look at Rey and Finn. ‘Meet you for lunch?’, he mouthed.

Rey nodded easily, but surprisingly enough, so did Finn. He said nothing, though, grabbing her wrist and gently dragging her down the stairs. Still, she saw Ben rolling his eyes.

/∆\

Their table at lunch was filled. Rey was sitting between Poe and Finn, with Rose, BB-9 and Ben across the table.

Poe and Ben made a point to discuss no strategy, but it was clear that was what they were going to do when they finished the food, go straight to the command room and start planning the next mission.

‘So how’s your training going?’, Poe politely asked Rey.

‘What training?’, she groaned. ‘So far it’s just been Ben pointing out everything that I’m doing wrong.’

‘It was just the first day.’, he rolled his eyes. ‘And I am not going to apologize for it.’

Rey threw him a look. Weak, but still annoyed.

‘You two are not gonna end up killing each other, right?’, Poe asked slowly, only half joking.

‘With pieces of scrap metal?’, Rey snorted. ‘Of course not.’

Poe smiled at her, but Ben didn’t, quite the opposite.

‘That implies we’re going to kill each other some other way.’

_It is physically possible for a human to die by laughing too hard._

‘That’s exactly what I meant, BB-9.’, Rey held back another snort. ‘Thank you.’

‘Rey’, Poe said very seriously, ‘the Resistance needs him alive, don’t tickle him to death.’

‘And don’t tell him the joke about the Brimm and the Wookiee walking into a bar.’, Rose piped up. ‘That will surely kill him.’

‘You could just cut him in half with his lightsaber.’, Finn said as easily as he discussed the weather.

Everyone else at the table glared at him, except for Ben.

‘You’re all terrible people.’, he said easily.

 _I’m a droid,_ BB-9 sounded affronted.

‘You’re _my_ droid.’, Ben pointed out. ‘You’re supposed to be on my side.’

As a response, BB-9 bumped its dome into Ben’s arm. _Here I am!_

Of course, Ben rolled his eyes at that.

‘I’m confused.’, Finn grabbed everyone’s attention. ‘What the hell happened to you here, to make you like this?’

There was complete silence around the table, but Ben didn’t back down, meeting Finn’s eyes.

‘And how am I?’

‘Nice.’, Finn gritted out the word. ‘Kind, funny, helpful. Everything Kylo Ren has never been.’

‘You answered your own question.’, Ben said calmly. ‘Kylo Ren died with Snoke.’

‘No. Snoke was already dead when Luke fought you on Crait.’

Ben swallowed thickly. ‘That was my mistake, and mine alone. Finn, I need you to understand that everything you have seen with the First Order, everything that I did, I did it with Snoke whispering in my ear.’

‘That’s not a good enough excuse.’, Finn shook his head.

‘I know. I’ll never have a good enough excuse for the crimes I have committed. But I am terribly stubborn’, he smiled, ‘and I’ve decided that I won’t stop trying to make up for all the grotesque things I did.’

Finn just looked at Ben for a long time. Rey wasn’t the only one holding her breath, Poe’s fingers were digging strongly into her thigh and Rose actually had a hand over her mouth.

 _Do I electrocute him?_ , BB-9 went as far as pointing the tool-arm towards Finn.

‘No.’, Ben rolled his eyes. ‘You don’t make friends by electrocuting them.’

_Are you sure you want him as your friend? He’s mean._

Ben looked to Rey, briefly, before his eyes fell on Finn again.

‘We’re never going to be friends. But we need to be allies.’

It took a beat, but Finn did nod.

‘And on that note, if you’re not otherwise busy, you should join Poe and I today.’

Both Poe and Finn frowned at that.

‘I have an idea.’, Ben raised his eyebrows. ‘And Finn can help me refine it.’

‘What are we waiting for, then?’, Poe got up. ‘Let’s go.’

After a quick fury of movements, Rey and Rose were the only ones left at the table.

‘Well…’, Rose tilted her head.

‘There might still be bloodshed.’, Rey said gravely.

‘Just a little. But they both care about you too much to hurt each other.’

Rey blushed and did not find any suitable answer. It didn’t look like Rose was expecting one, anyway.

/∆\

It took three more days of Rey wielding her saber and Ben pushing her limits before he announced that they could start fighting against one another.

Needless to say, Rey was excited when she showed up that evening to pick Ben up. He saw right through her, immediately, chuckling softly.

‘We’re going outside.’, she announced without any room for discussion. ‘It’s a nice evening, we have a few hours of daylight left, I owe BB-9 a walk and we’ll have more space.’

The droid started beeping excitedly at that, running between Ben’s legs and Rey’s, and he was quick to relent.

BB-9 was terribly excited when they started properly trekking through the woods. It kept pointing at things and asking _What’s this?_ A tree, a flower, a rock, a bug. Ben was usually the one to answer, in as much detail as he could. Rey learned things alongside BB-9, there weren’t flowers and trees on Jakku and for as much exploring she did since they landed on this planet, she was always alone while doing it.

But after almost an hour of walking, they got to the clearing Rey had targeted. It was fairly large, surrounded by shorter trees than the rest of the forest had, and the ground was pretty flat.

‘This will do nicely’, Ben nodded, ‘although, if you plan on killing me, maybe a place closer to the river would have been easier to clean up.’

Rey rolled her eyes. She didn’t bother with a response, raising her saber and adopting a fighting stance.

‘One more thing.’, Ben followed her lead. ‘No Force.’

‘No Force?’

‘Not yet. Not to grab the saber if you lose it, not to lift me off the ground, not to… distract me.’

Rey nodded. ‘You’ll do the same?’

‘You have my word.’

‘Alright. BB-9, you’re keeping score.’

‘Each time one of us hits the ground or is forced to yield.’, Ben explained.

_Yes, yes, yes, this is going to be fun._

It was very much not fun.

It was exhilarating and exciting, the power coursing through Rey’s veins. Muscles clenching, sweat pouring, breath ragged. Everything felt so… raw.

In the past, when she had fought against Ben, all that Rey could feel was the Force between them and her hatred for him. Now, it was very different. The strength they both showed was as human as it could get, as was the exhaustion slowly but surely pooling in her entire body.

Every time their sabers met, the metal against metal echoed in the otherwise silent forest, as did their grunts and yelps. Every time she met the ground, it hurt enough to remind her it was real and every time she got Ben on the ground, she felt terribly good, accomplished.

Still, it was a draw. BB-9 kept score and after two hours, they had yielded the same amount of times. Rey knew, that she was twice as tired as Ben and she suspected there were times where he let her win, but she didn’t find it in herself to argue.

‘One last time?’, Ben challenged. ‘To settle the score?’

Rey nodded, taking a deep breath. She let Ben attack first and now, he wasn’t holding back anymore. He was ruthless, really, swinging his saber without giving Rey any reprise, she couldn’t stop being defensive in order to attack, he left her no time to do that.

But then, something happened. Rey saw it clearly, something flashing in Ben’s eyes, something dark and angry. She wasn’t afraid, not even when he incapacitated her, plastered his front to her back and tangled their hands, together.

She had nowhere to escape and while she was managing to hold his saber away from her neck, she wasn’t going to keep it up much longer. But there was an escape, a crazy one that Rey had done once before, with the last Praetorian Guard. The position she was in was similar to that, so Rey took a deep breath and let go of her saber. At the same time, she stepped on Ben’s foot, surprising him enough to release his hold on her.

Rey fell to her knees, grabbing her saber before it hit the floor and as fast as she could, turned it against Ben. She stopped before the metal met flesh, and he stopped as well. The saber was almost pressing into his outer thigh, Rey’s free hand was, somehow, on his knee, Ben’s saber was slack against his body and his other hand was very close to her head, like his instinct was to grab her hair.

She was kneeling down in front of him, so very close, his leg trembling under her hand, and he was looking down at her in shock and awe. Suddenly, Rey couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t just because of exhaustion.

 _Sunshine wins today_ , BB-9 proclaimed, making the both of them snap out of it.

Rey sat herself down in the grass, groaning as she went, muscles protesting. Ben turned around, and she saw him take a few deep breaths as he fetched the water bottles they had with them. Still, he sat down next to her, silently urging her to drink.

After she was done with that, Rey groaned again and let herself fall back into the grass, the ground cool under her back. She closed her eyes, taking slow, measured breaths.

‘That went well, I think.’, Rey said after a long while.

‘You could say that, yes.’

There was something off in Ben’s voice. When she opened her eyes, he was already watching her, still with shock and awe.

‘What’s that look for?’

‘You don’t even know.’, he breathed out. ‘Rey, don’t you realize what you did?’

‘What did I do?’, there was dread pulling at her stomach, and he must have realized it, because he shook his head and patted her knee in reassurance.

‘It’s not anything bad, exactly, but it is… unnatural.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘A Jedi’s lightsaber’, Ben started explaining, ‘is the most important possession a Jedi will ever have. It’s… It’s your life. Because of it, you should be reluctant to part with it. Even in battle, a Jedi holds his lightsaber as close as he can, always. What you just did… it’s very much against a Jedi’s nature.’

Rey frowned, because she didn’t feel like that. She felt that she chose the right course of action, to defeat her enemy and win the fight. It was pure instinct, both of the time she did it, and it didn’t feel wrong at all.

‘I’m not saying it’s a Sith move, what you just did’, Ben went on, ‘but…’

When he didn’t go on, Rey leveled him with a look. ‘Are you saying there’s the dark side inside of me?’

He snorted at that. ‘I don’t need to say that out loud, it is an unspoken truth. What I’m saying, I think, is that I am very impressed with the control you have over it.’

Rey clicked her tongue. ‘Luke didn’t share the sentiment.’

At his questioning look, she told him about her first lesson with Luke, about how she had headed towards the darkness without hesitation, and how it had scared him.

‘That was different, Rey.’, Ben said calmly. ‘You were looking for answers, then.’

‘Yes, I guess so. I’m not looking for them anymore. And, if I’m being completely honest...’, she took a deep breath and looked away from him, up towards the trees. ‘Before, I did feel the pull of the dark. It wasn’t strong, but it was there, when I needed more strength against Snoke, against you. But I don’t feel it anymore.’

‘At all?’

She shook her head, looking back to Ben. ‘Not since you came to us.’

Without looking away from Rey, he nodded. ‘It’s the same for me. I feel it… the darkness lingers, around me.’, he put a hand on his chest. ‘But it’s not consuming, anymore.’

‘I’m glad.’, she smiled. ‘I am really glad for that, Ben.’

‘But do you understand it?’, he tilted his head. ‘Because I don’t.’

Rey shook her head. ‘Couldn’t we just leave it at that? Accept that we are connected by the Force and-’

‘I accept it.’, Ben cut her off. ‘I just wish I’d understand it better.’

‘Do you think it was really Snoke that did it?’

He was quick to shake his head. ‘If that were true, it should have died with him. The only thing I’m certain of is that, somehow, _we_ did it.’

Rey nodded at that, because it was a thought that had passed through her mind often enough.

‘I can give you the Jedi texts, if you want. I don’t know if there’s much in there, but you could try.’

‘Yes, please.’, Ben nodded. ‘Now come on, we should head back.’

He got up and extended a hand to Rey, to help her up. She didn’t take it, and she didn't move, either. Instead, she smiled as sweetly as possible and batted her eyelashes up at him.

‘Carry me?’

‘Tempting.’, he smirked. ‘But the walk will help your muscles relax.’

It was the truth and she knew it, so Rey got up and slowly started leading the way back to base.

Once they got back, they headed straight for the mess hall. Ben got each of them a large jug of water and a sweet tea, and he sat down next to her, even if they were silent.

But after she was done with her water, Rey felt a flash of something so very warm in her chest. It was gratefulness and fondness, but something more, as well.

Letting herself be guided by her instincts and taking advantage of the fact that the mess hall was mostly deserted at that time, Rey pushed her chair closer to Ben and rested her head on his shoulder.

He took a startled deep breath, and his body froze, but he did not move away.

‘Thank you.’, Rey whispered, closing her eyes.

‘You don’t have to-’

‘Thank you for training me.’, she cut him off. ‘And thank you, for doing the right thing, coming to us.’

Slowly, Ben moved. He brought a hand up, gently cradling Rey’s jaw, and he pressed his cheek to the crown of her head. She didn’t shy away from him, but she didn’t open her eyes, either.

‘Not _us_.’, he whispered. ‘I didn’t come here for the Resistance. Mother was already gone, I didn’t… I knew it was the right thing to do, but I did it for the wrong reason.’

‘What reason?’, Rey whispered, even if she knew she was the answer.

Ben didn’t say it out loud. Instead, he kissed her forehead and slowly detached himself, even if he let her continue resting her head on his shoulder. He also urged her to finish her tea, arguing that he didn’t see the need to meditate that night, feeling too tired for it. Rey agreed and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep.

It was a restless sleep. When she woke up, she didn’t remember exactly what she dreamt, just flashes of it. Of Ben’s grinning face, his legs tangled in her sheets, his hands cradling her body.

Rey wished she would have remembered more, every second of it.

/∆\

She spent all of the next day in the hangar, fixing everything she could get her hands on. She had lunch with Rose, took food to the three men lost in their world in the command room, did the same for dinner and afterwards, trained a little with Dalo.

Ben appeared afterwards, apologizing for the lack of training but offering to meditate with her. He was in a good mood, but he only explained why as they were making their way to his room. It was clear that he was excited about the upcoming mission he was planning with Poe and Finn, but he didn’t tell Rey anything about it. Just that it was crazy and that it was going to work.

He also mentioned that there was to be a mission brief in the morning, and politely asked Rey to come pick him up for breakfast. When she accepted, Ben bid her goodnight by hugging her briefly and very quickly kissing her cheek.

Clearly, he was very excited. That’s how Rey justified the odd behavior, anyway.

/∆\

Breakfast was a very weird affair. Both Finn and Poe were filled with energy, bouncing on their chairs and stuffing food in their mouth with alarming speed. Ben was worse, because every now and then, he’d forgo using his fork for guiding food into his mouth with the Force. Every time he did it, BB-9 beeped a very pleased _In goes the food!_

‘Did we end up in an alternate universe?’, Rose whispered after a long while of staring at the men.

‘That sounds plausible.’, Rey gulped.

Ben levitated a couple of berries and flew them straight in their mouths, effectively shutting them up. Rose spluttered, not because of the berries, but because of the impossibility of what he had just done.

‘Eat your food, children.’, Poe deadpanned. ‘We’ve got work to do.’

 _Can I call you kids?_ , BB-9 inquired.

‘No.’, Ben said just as Poe said ‘Sure.’

It confused BB-9, but one pat from Ben stopped the droid from saying anything else.

They finished their food quickly, and headed to the command room, which, of course, was filled to the brim. This time, Ben started talking without any prompting.

He was right, the plan was absolutely insane.

They were going to target what Ben and Finn thought were the top three high-ranking officers that were most likely to take Hux’s place in leading the First Order. The plan was to destroy their ships, in the same way General Holdo destroyed Snoke’s ship before Crait. Meaning, they were going to take three ships into hyperdrive, straight through the First Order’s ships.

As Ben finished explaining, the command room was completely silent.

‘Are you insane?’, Delany finally exploded.

‘Quite.’, Poe cheerily piped up. ‘It will work, though.’

‘Dameron’, the older man pinned Poe down with a cold look, ‘you can’t sacrifice the lives of three men-’

‘Of course not.’, Poe rolled his eyes. ‘We’re not going to sacrifice human lives, we’re going to sacrifice droids.’

BB-8 and BB-9, who until then stood at their owner’s feet, they started beeping loudly, in alarm, and made their way to Rey’s feet. She was quick to fall to her knees and wrap both of them in her arms.

‘Not the BBs!’, she wailed.

‘Of course not!’, Poe actually sounded affronted.

 _Promise?_ , BB-9 rolled itself a little closer to Ben.

‘Promise, ball.’, he smiled.

After a little deliberation, BB-9 did roll itself all the way back to Ben’s side, and BB-8 returned to Poe, as well.

‘Explain.’, Delany was running out of patience.

‘We found a couple of really old droids on this base.’, Finn said calmly. ‘And I mean ancient, we wouldn’t have any use for them. But the engineers can program the droids to activate the hyperdrive of a ship. We’ll need someone to actually fly the ships into position, but then they get the hell out of there, and the droids punch it.’

‘We don’t have ships large enough to make this work.’, another commander said.

‘We can steal them!’, Mally yelled from somewhere in the back.

‘We’re not going to steal them.’, Poe rolled his eyes. ‘But we do know someone who has already stolen them and is willing to donate them for our cause.’

‘You didn’t tell me that.’, Ben frowned at the other man.

Finn and Poe both turned to look at him, grinning evilly. It was highly disconcerting, even Ben took a very small step back.

‘That’s because it’s a mission you’re going to go on.’, Finn said.

‘The smuggler asked for you, specifically.’, Poe went on.

Ben narrowed his eyes. ‘Which smuggler?’

Impossibly so, Poe’s grin widened. ‘Lando Calrissian.’

There were several snorts heard throughout the room, but Chewie’s growl and R2’s beeps were the loudest. The dramatic way Ben rolled his eyes, as Poe and Finn kept on grinning, it told Rey that she had missed some very important information, particularly who this Lando Clarissian was.

‘Right, so.’, Poe clapped his hands. ‘Ben, Rey and Chewie leave with the Falcon tonight, meet up with Lando and bring him and the three ships back. Meanwhile, we’re going to find out where the ships we need to blow up are, so by the time they return, we’re ready to strike. Sounds good?’

While he spoke with the authority expected from a leader, the last question Poe asked was directed clearly to Delany. The man sighed, deeply, but in the end he did nod.

As soon as the meeting was declared over and people started leaving, Ben turned to Rey, clearly hesitating.

‘You don’t want me to come with you?’, she raised an eyebrow.

‘I don’t want to force you to spend more time with me than needed.’ His cheeks were a little red and he wasn’t really looking at her, but somewhere over her shoulder.

Rey rolled her eyes, but said nothing, instead testing the state of Ben’s mind shields. They were completely down, so she spoke in his head.

**_What I need is to spend as much time with you as possible and what I want is to spent almost all my time with you. Now stop being an idiot, and tell me who this Lando guy is._ **

Ben winced. ‘I promise I will, but later. Please.’

She relented, going over to Chewie and discussing the supplies they will need to gather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this kinda feels like a filler chapter, I know. but the next one's gonna be more fun, I promise. *evil grin*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to Coruscant takes longer than expected, but the mission is, eventually, all set. Rey is part of it, and Ben is not, so he worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now look! there's a reason overused tropes are so overused, okay? I mean, there are three billion ways sharing a bed could go. which one will happen in this chapter? *angel face*

 

 

BB-9 was incredibly excited to be on board the Millennium Falcon, much to Ben’s displeasure. The droid kept rolling around everywhere, bumping into things and generally, being an annoying nuisance. Ben tried to order it to stop, then he tried asking, then he tried begging. Nothing worked.

 _Leave the ball alone_ , Chewie growled. _You used to do the same thing when you were little._

Needless to say, that shut Ben up. He was grumpy about it, but he didn’t say anything more to BB-9, coming to the common area and sitting down next to Rey on one of the benches.

She didn’t say anything, just watched him for a while, clearly waiting.

He sighed before he started talking. ‘Lando Calrissian is a word class smuggler. Twice as egotistical as Han, three times worse at his job. He has helped the Rebels before, in his youth, but… you can’t really trust him, not completely.’

 _Lie_ , Chewie growled from the cockpit.

Ben rolled his eyes. ‘All right, you can’t trust him in small, insignificant tasks, but he will have your back in the times when it matters.’

Rey tilted her head, knowing there was more to the story. ‘So have you known him long?’

 _Very long_ , Chewie kind of snickered, as Ben glared at his back.

‘He and Han were friends.’, he finally said. ‘Very good friends. I…’, Ben shook his head, looking to Rey with a little embarrassment. ‘Uncle Lando was the best uncle-’

Chewie growled at that.

‘Second best uncle’, Ben rolled his eyes, ‘because every time he visited, he brought me amazing gifts that made Leia angry and Han had to take away once I was asleep.’

‘That sounds lovely.’, Rey was smiling wildly. ‘He sounds nice.’

Ben snorted, shaking his head. ‘Wait until you meet him to pass judgment. He’s not a very pleasant man.’

 _You can say that again_ , Chewie weighted in.

Suddenly, Rey was very curious, excitedly so. Ben clearly saw through her, because he got even grumpier and urged her to go sleep in the bunk.

/∆\

Rey had never been to Coruscant before. She heard stories of it, of course, had been hearing them since as long as she could remember.

It still took her breath away. She was in the pilot seat as the planet came into view, having switched Chewie at the middle of the flight, but her hands were moving on autopilot. Rey’s eyes were moving rapidly over the marvel painted in front of her, taking in every detail she could, as the Falcon got closer and the details became clearer.

She felt fingers on her elbow, running gently up her arm. Rey didn’t need to turn around to see it was Ben.

‘Take a breath, Rey.’, he said gently.

She had stopped breathing, apparently, so Rey did take a deep breath, as she turned the Falcon towards the ship bay Lando sent them the coordinates too.

Ben only took his hand away when they landed.

/∆\

‘He’s going to punch me.’, Ben sighed, as they made their way down the Falcon’s ramp and as Lando was angrily walking towards them, glaring heavily.

Chewie agreed, and sure enough, as he got close enough, Lando formed a fist and aimed it straight at Ben’s face.

The hit didn’t collide, because Rey had stopped it, wrapping her fingers around the man’s wrist. He was stronger than her, even in his old age, but she had the advantage of the Force cursing through her veins. So even if the man was struggling strongly, she still held him back.

Lando’s eyes turned to look at Rey, and he looked at her for a long while, wide eyes running up and down her body.

He relaxed his hand and started laughing. Startled, Rey let go of him.

‘You must be Rey. Poe didn’t tell me you were so foxy, sweetheart.’

She didn’t know what that meant, but she didn’t think it was a good thing, considering the glare Ben was aiming at the other man.

Lando turned to him, frowning deeply. ‘What the hell is that thing on your head, kid? You’re never going to catch tail with a dead furball over your eyes.’

Ben sighed, deeply, turning it into a growl towards the end.

‘Don’t do that.’, Lando shoved, somewhat lightly, at his chest. ‘I still want to punch you in the face, don’t provoke me.’

‘Then don’t annoy me.’, came the prompt response.

The older man snorted at that, turning back to Rey. ‘Really, sweetheart, what are you doing with the lights of him?’, he tilted his head towards Ben. ‘You can do so much better than that.’

She said nothing, keeping her expression only mildly annoyed.

Lando kept on leering at her, smirking cheekily. His hand came up, clearly aiming to grab Rey’s shoulder, but it didn’t meet its mark, stopping in mid air.

She smiled, because this time, she wasn’t the one doing it.

‘Keep your dirty hands off her’, Ben said calmly, ‘or I’ll break both of you arms.’

Lando’s smile didn’t waver. ‘That’s what Han told me on his wedding day.’

With another drawn-out growl, Ben let go of his control over the other man.

‘We are actually here on a mission.’, he pointed out. ‘Take us to the ships.’

‘Right.’, Lando turned around and started walking towards the other end of the ship bay, and they were quick to follow, leaving Chewie and BB-9 on the Falcon, for now.

‘Hey, kid.’, Lando said half way through, without turning to look at Ben. ‘I’m sorry about your mom.’

Ben said nothing.

‘And I’m sorry you… I’m sorry about Han too, but I’m more sorry that you got yourself in the position to need to do it.’

Again, Ben said nothing, but his eyes betrayed his pain. Rey wanted to grab his hand, but thought it was best if she didn’t. Instead, she put her hand on his shoulder, and he didn’t shrug her away.

‘Did he know?’, Lando went on, voice wavering. ‘I think he knew. Han always went into a shitty situation knowing full well there were high chances of him not getting out of it.’

Rey had never thought of it like that, and it hurt her to do so. She grabbed Ben’s hand, and he let her do it, for a brief moment, before squeezing her fingers and gently letting go.

‘He knew I was going to do it.’, Ben said in a barely controlled voice. ‘He knew before I did.’

That stopped Lando. He turned around slowly, with a grave expression.

‘Your dad was one of the best men I have ever met. It’s about time you started following in his footsteps.’

Ben tilted his head in acceptance. ‘I’m trying.’

In an instant, all seriousness was gone from Lando’s expression. He laughed loudly, pushing himself between Rey and Ben, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders, guiding them further down the bay.

When they finally reached their destination, and Lando proudly presented them with the three ships, Rey struggled not to punch him in the face.

‘These are garbage.’, she said slowly.

Lando went on to explain everything that was wrong with each of the ships, graciously adding that he had already procured the spare parts needed, Rey just had to replace them.

‘There’s a catch.’, Ben sighed. ‘There’s always a catch with you, isn’t there?’

‘It wouldn’t be me if there wasn’t.’, Lando snorted.

‘This is going to take two days, at least.’, Rey groaned.

‘Good! See you tomorrow night, then!’, Lando turned around and started walking away.

‘Aren’t you going to help us?’, she yelled after him.

‘Sorry, sweetheart, I have other business to attend to.’

He blew her a kiss, winked at Ben, and was off.

‘I can help.’, he said gently.

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. ‘Do you know anything about doing maintenance on these types of ships?’

He winced. ‘I know how to do a basic maintenance check.’

She sighed, rubbing a hand over her face. ‘Okay. I’m going to need BB-9 and the toolbox from the Flacon. If you could convince Chewie to come and help, that would be great. Also, you should call Poe. Let him know we’re going to be late.’

‘Anything else?’, Ben nodded seriously.

Rey smiled at him. ‘I wouldn’t mind some extra company.’

‘Of course.’, he blinked twice, before seemingly realizing what she had said. He looked up at her and pursed his lips, clearly trying to hold back a smile. He was blushing as he left.

/∆\

Rey worked the day away.

Chewie refused to help, arguing he had repairs to do on the Falcon. Rey knew that was a lie, but didn’t find it in herself to argue. BB-9 helped her a lot, though, not just with its toolkit, but also with discussing with Rey everything that she was doing, making sure there were no mistakes made.

Ben did keep her company, usually in silence, only talking when she directly addressed him. But he also left, every now and then, coming back with water and tea, with food and new fruits for her to try.

She really did not realize when the time passed, so before Rey knew it, her hands were sore and she was yawning every other minute.

Ben boldly took the tool she was using away from her hands.

‘I got us a room at the closest inn.’

She blinked. ‘ _A_ room?’

‘I could lie and say there was only one room left, but the truth is we’re in a bad part of town. I know you can take care of yourself, but I’d rather keep an eye on you.’

‘That was almost sweet.’, Rey deadpanned. ‘Almost.’

It made Ben blush, a little.

‘But if we’re in a bad part of town’, she frowned, ‘shouldn’t we stay with the ships? Make sure nobody steals them?’

‘Not that kind of bad.’, Ben flinched. ‘And Chewie and BB-9 are going to stay behind.’

Rey was too tired to argue, so she packed up her things and followed Ben to the Falcon. As he gave instructions to Chewie, Rey thanked BB-9 for all the help, smiling at the pleased beeps.

Ben came out of the ship very red in the cheeks, face frozen in shock.

‘What happened?’

‘I know there are things we don’t discuss’, he said very loudly, ‘but Uncle Chewie just offered to give me the sex talk.’

Rey’s face instantly turned red. She also saw red before her eyes.

‘Chewie, I’m going to kill you!’, she screamed.

 _No you won’t_ , came the Wookiee’s quick response, followed by a laugh and the Falcon ramp closing shut.

 _What’s sex?_ , BB-9 asked, to both of their horror.

Rey didn’t run, but it was a close thing.

/∆\

She felt a little overwhelmed when Ben guided her inside the inn. There was a bar at the lower floor, filled with people, aliens of species she didn’t even know, there was music playing in the background and everything was very loud.

As Ben spoke to the innkeeper, ordering food for them to eat in the room, Rey awkwardly waited for him in a corner. She felt very out of place, and it didn’t take long for her to get noticed.

A man came to her side, as old as Lando but not so good looking, and he grinned at her as he offered to buy her a drink. She politely declined, to which the man argued that she shouldn’t spend the night on her own.

‘I assure you I won’t.’, she glared at him. ‘I’m just waiting for my friend to come back.’

‘Friend?’, the man snorted, just as Ben appeared at her side.

He loomed over the other man, glaring strongly, not saying a word. Still, it had the desired effect, because it made the other man loose color in his face.

‘You should go, now.’, Rey cheekily piped up.

The man quickly scrambled away.

‘Not that kind of bad.’, Rey said. ‘Now I understand.’

Ben nodded gravely, gently grabbing her hand and guiding her up a few set of stairs.

The room he led her to was very… lush. Dark wood, carved in complicated shapes on the furniture, a giant bed with an intricate canopy, fitted with dark red pillows and curtains. There were gold accents all over the room, a vase, a pillow, gold thread in the curtains, a painting’s frame. There were plush carpets on the floor, two armchairs and a small table set in front of the window. There was also a fresher to the side, ridiculously large, from what Rey could see through the open door, and there was a gold bath too.

She turned to Ben. ‘Did you pay by the hour?’

He snorted, but didn’t dignify it with an answer. Instead, he urged her to go wash up, which Rey did, feeling very grateful for the hot water and the flowery scented washing gel at her disposal. She put on her sleeping attire, a pair of short pants and a large short sleeved shirt, and by the time she came out of the fresher, their food was already there.

They sat on the armchairs and Rey didn’t hesitate in filling her mouth with food, even if she didn’t know what most of it was. Ben explained, though, calmly and without making her feel embarrassed for not knowing.

She had never drunk wine before, and Ben did warn her that this particular one was strong. But it was also sweet, and Rey liked it, so she drank it slowly, eating between sips.

By the time the food was gone, Rey could barely keep her eyes open.

‘You can have the bed.’, Ben told her gently.

‘Don’t be an idiot.’, there was no hesitation on her part. ‘It’s large enough to fit us, Chewie and half of the Red Squadron.’

Ben snorted, acting like it didn’t matter. He didn’t quite manage it, but Rey was too tired to overthink things. So she got under the covers, hugged one of the extra pillows to her chest, expecting to fall asleep immediately.

She didn’t, so she was still awake when Ben came out of the fresher and got into bed. The very top of his hair was braided, two slim braids that kept his hair out of his eyes. It was such a weird sight to see, Rey couldn’t help but stare.

‘Not a word.’, Ben said stiffly, glaring at her before shutting off the lights.

‘I didn’t say anything.’

‘You were thinking it.’

It was true, she was thinking that he had very beautiful hair and that she wished to run her fingers through it. Rey said nothing more, beyond a mumbled goodnight that got a similar response.

/∆\

Rey woke up once, during the night. She had moved, in her sleep, more towards Ben. He was sleeping on his back, with an arm thrown over his eyes, but his other one was carelessly thrown over Rey’s waist.

She didn’t move away, quickly falling back asleep. For the first time in a long while, Rey dreamt. And it was a terrible one.

In the dream, they were both still on Coruscant, still at the inn, still in bed. But they were on top of the covers, and Rey was naked, on her back in the middle of the bed, fingers fisted in the sheets. Ben was lying next to her, body pushed to her side, his arm under her head acting as a pillow.

His other hand was between Rey’s legs, slowly but purposely moving against her skin. He was driving her mad, giving her so much pleasure but too little to be enough, kissing her sweetly in sync with the way his fingers danced inside of her. She was trembling, feeling like every nerve in her body was on fire, but it wasn’t enough.

Rey moaned against his mouth, and he felt good about that, because he grinned, moving his kisses down to her neck and chest. Her mouth now free, she asked for more, she begged him for more, started moving her hips.

Ben bit on her chest, making her freeze in surprise, another low moan escaping her. One of her hands came up to his hair, grabbing at his curls and with her other hand, she scratched at his arm.

‘Please.’, she whispered again, pulling his head back to hers, until their lips were touching again. ‘Please, more.’

With a wicked grin, he kissed her again, stronger this time, faster. He also slid another finger into her, and picked up the pace, his fingers moving in and out of her with increasing speed. It was better, so much better, sweat on her temples, trembling legs, his tongue deep inside her mouth, heart beating franticly against her chest. It still wasn’t enough.

‘Come on.’, he whispered against her mouth, biting on her lower lip afterwards.

She started moving her hips, which he approved of, because he smiled, again, before kissing her, briefly.

‘Let go, Rey.’, he whispered next, and it was so very different from the last time he said those words to her, but so very similar, as well. There was still fire and power, like there always was between them, but now it wasn’t destructive.

She was so very close and she desperately wanted it, but she needed something more, another push. Her hand was shaking, but she moved it, from Ben’s arm to her stomach and lower.

He stopped kissing her, turning his head to see what she was doing. Rey pushed her face into the crook of his neck, which was now at her disposal, and she put her fingers right above the place where his entered her. Ben sped up his movements again, inexplicably so, as Rey rubbed herself, moaning without abandon against his neck.

It did not take long, for her to scream his name, for her to see stars, for her to come all over his fingers. With one final moan -

\- Rey woke up, panting in the middle of the bed. In the middle of the empty bed. She panicked, for a second, until she realized that Ben’s street clothes were on one of the armchairs and that the water in the fresher was running.

With an almost silent groan, Rey threw herself back against the bed. She wasn’t a stranger to sex, there have been boys on Jakku that she brought home, but it wasn’t like in her dream. It never was as intense in real life, and she was never as desperate as she dreamt herself to be.

It was a terrible dream, because not only did it leave her needing and unsatisfied, but it also made her understand just how much and in what manner she really wanted Ben.

When he came out of the fresher, it was difficult for Rey to meet his eyes. He figured out something was wrong, but she blamed the wine from last night and tried her best to get over it.

She was never getting over him, Rey thought, but she did manage to get over the dream.

/∆\

The next day was spent in a similar manner, with Rey and BB-9 working on the ships, Ben making sure she ate and stayed hydrated.

Like clockwork, Lando showed up just as Rey was done with the repairs. After a mildly funny and very rude conversation between him and Ben, they left Coruscant behind.

Rey was feeling very tired, but the ship she was on had an autopilot function, and Ben had sent BB-9 to keep an eye on her. So Rey spent most of the trip sleeping, on and off in the pilot seat, only vaguely aware of Ben and Lando arguing over comms.

When they got back to the Resistance base, they were met with excited yells and a big round of applause. Clearly, in the time they were away, everybody had got on board with the plan, and they were overly excited to put it in action.

Finn hugged her very tightly and the first thing he said to her was ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?’, she frowned.

His eyes skipped to where Poe, Lando and Ben were talking.

Rey rolled her eyes. ‘I’m fine, Finn. He won’t hurt me.’

‘How sure are you of that?’

In her mind, various images flashed. Fighting side by side Ben against the Praetorian Guard, the understanding in his eyes as she spoke of the cave on Ahch-To, the way he always stopped the metal crossguard right before it connected with her skin, the way he made her drink water every hour on Coruscant, how he got food similar to things he knew she liked, how he looked at her when his eyes betrayed his love.

‘I’m very sure, Finn.’, she smiled at him.

Before he got to answer, a grinning Poe and a glaring Ben came to their side.

‘He wants to go tomorrow.’, Ben glared at Poe, before turning to Rey. ‘And he wants you on one of Holdo ships.’

‘All right.’, Rey was quick to say. ‘And you don’t approve because…?’

‘You’re tired.’, Ben said with a bit more softness.

 ** _And it’s dangerous_**. That part wasn’t said out loud, but in her head.

It rubbed Rey the wrong way, and he knew it, because he flinched immediately after finishing the thought.

‘Thank you for your concern.’, she said slowly. ‘But if Poe thinks this is a job for me, then I’m going to do it.’

‘Great!’, Poe cheekily piped up. ‘Mission debrief is in two hours.’

He left without another word, and Rey was still glaring at Ben, with Finn watching curiously.

‘You’ve said it before, I can take care of myself.’

‘I know.’, he was quick to nod. ‘I know you can. But that doesn’t mean I appreciate you being put into dangerous situations.’

‘We’re in the middle of a war.’, she said somewhat incredulously. ‘Of course it’s dangerous. And I’m sorry, but you don’t actually have a say in this.’

Ben sighed at that. ‘I know that, too. I still don’t like it.’

‘Well get used to it.’, Rey snorted. ‘And stop doubting my capabilities, it’s hurtful.’

‘I have never doubted your capabilities.’, Ben said very strongly. ‘Not once, since you told me I was afraid.’

Rey had to smirk at that, feeling proud of herself.

 ** _I’ve just gotten used to being in the same place as you_** _,_ Ben’s voice rang clear in her head, even as he looked away as he thought it.

She couldn’t possibly answer that.

‘I’m starving.’, Rey said quickly, looking to Finn.

‘Yeah, we told Mary to keep some dinner for you. There’s that berries tart thing you like.’

Rey grinned at that, bouncing on the soles of her feet in excitement. It made both Finn and Ben smile at her and when they got to the mess hall, Rey had four different tarts on her trey. She didn’t know which of the men was responsible, but she was very grateful.

/∆\

It was a pretty straight forward mission.

Each of the three Holdo ships was to be accompanied by a couple of X-Wings, and they had to act fast. As soon as they jumped out of hyperspace, Rey was supposed to position the ship she was on, as the X-Wings dealt with the expected attack from the First Order. After Rey finished her job and flew herself into space in a pod, Chewie and the Falcon will be there to pick her up. He was the only one with this task, and everything had to be timed perfectly, so that he could pick up the three Holdo pilots, one after the other. That meant that they will not be attacking the First Order ships at the same time, and that the mission runtime will be longer, but it was safer this way, fewer people involved and the Falcon’s speed will be facilitating.

It wasn’t a difficult mission, for Rey, at least. Her job was pretty straight-forward and easy, the X-Wing pilots and Chewie had a far more difficult job. It didn’t stop Ben from being worried. She didn’t need to get into his head to know it was true. So after the mission debrief was done and Poe ordered her to get some rest, she grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him away. He was surprised, but he went along, letting Rey hold onto him all the way to her room.

‘Wait.’, she ordered, heading to the fresher and firmly shutting the door behind her. Rey didn’t linger too much, but she did wash away the grime of the day and changed into sleeping clothes.

When she came out, Ben was standing very awkwardly in the middle of the room, hands clasped behind his back, looking curiously around. Rey didn’t have a lot of things, but she did have her little treasures on display. A few small pots of flowers, a couple of interestingly colored rocks, a pink crystal Finn brought her back from a supply run, a lot of tools and, of course, the Jedi books.

Not many people came to her room, only Poe had the nerve to come in without knocking. It was one of the things that will never leave her, the need to have her personal space, no matter how small the room or old the AT-AT hull. Still, Ben being there didn’t feel unnatural.

So Rey sat down on one end of the bed, leaning back against the wall, crossing her legs and wordlessly asking him to join her.

‘You want to meditate?’, he asked even as he was taking off his shoes.

‘Not for long, we both need to sleep. But for a little while. Maybe it will help you calm down.’, she threw him a pointed look.

Ben pursed his lips, clearly disagreeing with something, but he did mirror Rey’s position on the other side of the bed. They both easily slipped into meditation and for a while, everything was well. Great, amazing, powerful, the Force calm between them.

But then Rey felt something horrible. It was strong and forceful, so much so that it almost knocked her out, forced her to open her eyes and gasp on a breath. She felt fear, deep as the darkest cave on Ahch-To, hurtful as the sharpest blade.

‘I’m sorry’, Ben looked to her with wide eyes, arms outstretched, reaching for her but not quite touching.

‘What was that?’, she breathed out.

‘I’m sorry, my control slipped. I didn’t mean to-’, he shook his head, not meeting her eyes.

His hands fell to the bed and Rey could see that he was controlling his breathing.

She didn’t mind that Ben was still holding up a wall for her to not breach. She understood the need for it, she even thought she might just need him to teach her how to do it. But this was such a strong feeling, she didn’t understand how he could just keep it away.

‘What are you so afraid of?’, it sounded desperate.

Ben closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. ‘Tomorrow’s mission is a dangerous one.’

Rey couldn’t comprehend, how anybody could ever be so afraid _for her_.

‘I can handle it, you know I can. You know I’ve done much more dangerous things.’

‘I know.’, Ben nodded, still not meeting her eyes. ‘But I can’t stop worrying.’

‘Would you feel better if you’d come with me?’

‘Yes.’, his answer was immediate and it was paired with Ben finally looking up.

‘That can’t happen now.’, Rey said kindly. ‘I have to be alone on the ship. But maybe I can talk to Poe after this mission.’

He shook his head. ‘You shouldn’t have to do that, I can handle it, I just… slipped.’

Suddenly, Rey felt very tired. ‘And how often do I make you slip?’

Of course, there was no answer to that. She sighed, took her hair out of her buns and lay down on the bed, head resting comfortably in Ben’s lap.

He froze completely, arms raised high as to not touch her.

‘I’m tired.’, Rey yawned, closing her eyes. ‘You can stay until I fall asleep. And you can take the Jedi books on your way out.’

Ben didn’t say anything, but there was a sound coming from him, a sort of incredulous wheeze that amused Rey immensely.

‘You can braid my hair, if you like.’

His hands fell on the bed with a thud. ‘Now you’re just being mean.’

‘I’m not, I’m being cute. And you should really be cute as well, and braid my hair.’

Ben did braid her hair. He grumbled a lot about it, but he was very gentle, so much so that Rey fell asleep incredibly fast. When she woke up in the morning, all of her hair was braided in tiny, slim braids. It most likely took him a lot more time than Rey was comfortable to think, but when she unbraided it and saw that it fell into tight curls, she thought it was worth it, because she did like how it looked.

Too bad she had to go on a mission and how her hair looked was the last thing on her mind.

/∆\

All alone in the cockpit, flying towards a very large and heavily armed First Order ship, Rey wasn’t worried. Not for the outcome of the mission, anyway.

Before she left, Ben had gently grabbed her shoulder, squeezing once before dragging his fingers down her arm, all the way to her wrist, which he had grabbed and held onto for a few seconds, smiling, a little, at her.

‘Just come back.’, was all he said, whispered lowly only for her ears to hear and paired with a glossy shine in his eyes.

As simple as a statement as it was, as complicated were the thoughts that it stirred in Rey’s mind.

She knew she cared for Ben, had realized it in the time he spent at base. Well, she had accepted it, now, she had probably realized it on Ahch-To. Rey didn’t have a problem with caring for Ben, not at all. No matter what Finn thought, or the rest of the Resistance, she did not feel bad for caring about Ben Solo.

He cared for her as well, there was no doubt in Rey’s mind about that, hadn’t been for a long while, not since the moment he extended his hand to her and said ‘Join me’.

But it was more than that, now. So much more.

The way he looked at her now, it was something deeper and stronger. More passionate, yes, but also more… real. Ben loved her. Truly. He wouldn’t be so scared for her well-being if he didn’t.

It was overwhelming, for Rey. She had lived her entire life unloved, all alone in the desert, keeping her hands busy in order to not think about how much pain she was in. While that went away the second Finn and BB-8 stepped into her life, and while she had no problems accepting the fact that she had friends now, friends who loved her and wanted to take care of her, it wasn’t as easy with Ben.

Because Ben loved her like a sun on fire. He may have never said it, and he only may display it when he ‘slipped’, but the love he had for her was… astronomical. She felt it every time they meditated side by side, when their emotions and feelings tended to blend together, it warmed up her chest and expended her heart and it was not just coming from him.

It was harder for Rey to accept the fact that Ben loved her, than it was for her to accept the fact that she was in love him with. That was… easy. Even if it was something she had never felt before, she recognized the feeling immediately, and she accepted it without hesitation.

How could she have not fallen for him, really? It was always going to happen, they were always going to end up here. The Force willed it so, but they have also both chose it.

Even so, she was utterly afraid. Going head first into a space battle against one of the First Order’s largest ships? Absolutely no problem. Talking with Ben about their feelings and the possibility of acting on them? She couldn’t do that. It made her knees go wobbly and her hands shake and it made Rey feel as scared as she did when she first touched Luke’s lightsaber.

Her hands were shaking now, and she was getting closer to the First Order ship, so she tried to stir her thoughts away from Ben. Which was, of course, the moment when his voice came through on the communicator. Poe was supposed to be taking point on the mission, but of course Ben was by his side.

‘Rey, is everything alright? You’re being uncharacteristically quiet.’

Shaking her head to disperse the last of her treacherous thoughts, she latched on to the first thing she saw.

‘Everything is fine, sorry. I just got distracted, the stars are really pretty here.’

Of course, there was a long silence following her statement.

‘Eyes on the prize, Rey.’, Poe said sternly.

‘Don’t have eyes on it, just yet. I’m close, though.’

‘Chewie is on his way.’, Ben said next. ‘The first two parts of this mission were a success.’

Rey had no idea why they chose her to be the last to detonate, and she didn’t question it at the moment. But as the First Order ship came into view, she might have gotten a reason for it.

The other ship was stationary between two medium sized planets. One of them was a burned orange, it looked like Rey always thought Jakku looked from space, and the other planet was a deep blue, with swirls of bright purple. It was absolutely beautiful, and Rey thought the view was a kindness that Poe gave her.

‘I’m here.’, Rey straightened her back and her grip on the controls. ‘Getting into position now.’

Whatever response she may have received from base was cut off by the First Order, who had managed to get into her communication system in no time. Rey ignored their threats, and did her job, maneuvering the ship into the needed position.

When it was done, she let Poe know, who gave the order to the X-Wings that had been following her, to start their attack. It was quick after that, making sure the droid was connected to the ship and getting into an escape pod, all the while doing her best to ignore the sounds of battle raging outside.

She didn’t see it, the pod was ejected horizontally and stayed that way. But once she was on board of the Falcon, just as Chewie was rushing them away from the battle, Rey saw the ship she was on few minutes before make its way straight through the other larger ship.

It took her breath away, completely. It was beautiful, startlingly so, the two contrasting planets standing witness to the destruction of two ships, in a bright flash of blue light. It was like nothing Rey had ever seen before, ever thought of before. How could such havoc be so gorgeous?

‘We got our third traveler.’, one of the other picked up pilots brought Rey back to reality. ‘She’s a bit weepy over the pretty stars, but she’s fine. We’re coming home.’

She was, in fact, crying, and she hadn’t even realized it until the other man pointed it out.

The Falcon’s cockpit was filled with the sounds of applause and happy yelling, clearly the Resistance celebrating their victory. Still, Ben’s voice was heard loud and clear, urging them to hurry back.

 _Did the kid forget how to function without you?_ , Chewie asked her, clearly amused.

Rey didn’t answer, but she did blush and that was probably answer enough.

/∆\

When they got back to the Resistance base, it was in the middle of a full blown party. There was music heard from the mess hall, everyone had glasses in their hands and needless to say, they were happy.

Poe hugged her so tightly, Rey’s feet lifted off the ground, and they did not touch it when she was passed into Finn’s arms. She laughed along as the men yelled in her ears. It was Rose who managed to detach Rey from Finn’s hold.

‘You stink.’, the other woman wrinkled her nose. ‘Go shower.’

She wasn’t even mad about the rudeness, because it was true. She didn’t see Ben on the way to her room, and she settled to look for him as soon as possible.

It wasn’t needed, because Ben knocked on her open door right as she was coming out of the fresher.

‘Are you alright?’, he asked hesitantly.

‘Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?’

‘You were crying.’

Rey smiled. ‘We haven’t seen it, when Holdo did it. The actual moment when the smaller ship went into hyperdrive and destroyed the other one. And it was between these two very colorful planets. It was… quite beautiful.’

That seemed to surprise Ben.

‘I didn’t know destruction could be so beautiful.’, she shrugged a little. ‘I didn’t know it was allowed to.’

Ben stepped closer to her, until he was close enough to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

‘I’m alright.’, she smiled up at him. ‘It was just a little overwhelming.’

‘Well if it makes you feel any better’, he squeezed her shoulder, ‘you were amazing today.’

She smiled wilder at him.

‘The men were expecting you to fail on such a … ruthless endeavor. But you impressed them.’

Rey’s smile turned into a grin, proud and pleased.

‘I never doubted your success.’, Ben went on, lowering his voice, eyes not once leaving hers. ‘I just worry, apparently.’

Rey looked away from him, but she also kind of hugged him, pushing her cheek to his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist, ignoring the way her cheeks were on fire.

‘I do appreciate your concern, Ben. It shows that you care.’

He didn’t answer her in any way, but it was alright, she didn’t think she was ready for whatever he would say. Her stomach rumbled, making her even more embarrassed, even as he chuckled and pulled away from her.

‘Come on.’, he smiled. ‘There should be some leftover pika cakes in the kitchen.’

Ben laughed very loudly when Rey started running.

/∆\

There were leftover pika cakes, and Rey spent a while sitting in a chair and demolishing a plate full. Someone got her a glass of something, colored amber and smelling like the infirmary. It made her throat burn, but she drank it in small sips.

Ben was swiped away from her side pretty early on, and he settled in a corner with Poe, probably discussing their next mission when they were not interrupted by various people. Rey was also visited by a lot of people, most of them congratulating her on the mission, some just saying hello, a surprising amount asking her to dance.

She politely refused, until Dalo came and ordered her off her butt. She tried to argue against it, but then Dalo yelled for Mally, who was grinning as he ran to their side. Next thing Rey was aware of was the feeling of weightlessness as she was lifted up in the air. Then, she was in the middle of the dance floor, the two men laughing at her. It wasn’t so much dancing as it was fooling around, and Finn and Rose were quick to join, Connix and Bodhi as well.

It was fun, but Rey was tired. It had been a long day, and she didn’t even realize how much it got to her. So she apologized and said her goodbyes, hugged Poe again, fixed a training session with Ben for the next day, and went straight to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoaaaaaaaaaaah we're half way theeeeeeeere!  
> whoaaaaa-aaaaaah! here have some sexy times!  
> ... ish
> 
> Don't imagine how it was for Ben growing up, with Uncle Chewie and Uncle Lando around. Just don't. It hurts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the next weeks, everything surprisingly settles into a sense of normality, between missions against the First Order and training with Ben. Rey keeps getting stronger and she keeps getting closer to him. She also gets a new weapon, and the Resistance gets a new chance at fighting the First Order.

 

She woke up startled, with Ben’s voice in her head.

**_I’m sorry to do this, but Vega’s having a bad night._ **

Rey didn’t even bother changing out of her night clothes.

As she got to the upper level, she found Ben, Raf and Mally outside of Vega’s room. There were whimpers heard from the room, and a quick check in the Force told Rey that the woman was in severe distress, afraid and panicking.

‘What happened?’

‘Ben said she’s in trouble.’, Raf said gently.

‘She’s not letting you in?’, Rey frowned.

‘We haven’t tried.’, Mally admitted, much to her displeasure.

‘She’s still asleep, Rey.’, Ben shook his head. ‘I don’t think startling her with banging on her door is a good idea.’

‘You should go in.’, Raf nodded at her. ‘It’ll be better if you wake her up.’

Rey did think that was a good idea, so she nodded once and as silently as possible, opened the door. Vega was curled up on herself, on the very corner of her bed, sheet tangled around her legs. She was shivering violently, and whimpering every now and then.

Wordlessly, Rey closed the door behind herself. Vega’s fear choked her, she could feel it through the Force, and she absolutely hated it, the thought of someone as strong as Vega rendered down to only that, only her fear.

Steeling herself, Rey crouched down next to Vega and gently started running her fingers through her hair. She whispered to her, that she was alright, that she was safe, that she needed to wake up.

Eventually, Vega did wake up, with a frightened yell. She trashed around until she recognized Rey. That was the moment when she started crying, sobbing really. Rey did not hesitate, in wrapping her arms around Vega, getting next to her on the bed and holding as tightly as she could. Vega kept apologizing through her cries, but Rey didn’t let her do it, shushing her gently.

It took awhile for the other woman to calm down, but Rey held her through it. When the crying stopped, she went to the fresher, wetting a towel with warm water and giving it to Vera, who was quick to wipe her face.

‘I’m sorry.’, she said again.

‘Don’t apologize.’, Rey said strongly. ‘You can’t control your dreams.’

‘But I should be able to handle them on my own.’

Rey sighed. ‘I told you before that being with the Resistance means you don’t _have_ to do everything on your own.’

Vega sniffed. ‘Thank you, Rey.’

‘Don’t mention it.’, she grabbed her hand.

‘How did you even know?’

‘Ben sensed it.’

Vega flinched with her whole body.

‘No, don’t do that, it’s alright. He just wanted to help.’

The woman nodded at that, weekly.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’, Rey tried, but was met with a shake of the head.

‘Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?’

Again, Vega shook her head, even if Rey felt hope surge through the Force.

‘Well I’m doing it anyway.’, she smiled, sitting on the very edge of the bed and urging Vera to lie down.

She did, and kept silent for a while, but she did eventually start talking, in a whispered voice.

‘It’s just that the possibility of carrying that monster’s child, it’s terrfying.’

‘What are the med droids saying?’

‘It’s too early to know for sure. And all female Strormtroopers have an implant that stops us from getting our periods.’

‘But you can still get pregnant?’

‘In theory.’, Vega sighed.

‘If that happens’, Rey said slowly, ‘we will figure something out, I promise you. But until we can be sure, you can’t let it consume you.’

‘I’m trying.’

‘I know you are. And I’m here for you, whatever you need. If you ever want to talk about it, or not talk about it, or if you just don’t want to be alone, I’m here for you, Vega. The boys as well.’

‘The boys?’

‘Mally and Raf are outside with Ben. They’re all worried.’

‘They saw it happen.’, Vega’s voice was so low, Rey almost didn’t hear it. ‘Mally and Raf were in the cells next to mine, behind glass walls, and they saw everything. Yelled straight through it.’

‘They care for you.’, Rey smiled. ‘Try to gather strength from that.’

Vega nodded slowly.

‘Now, try to get some rest.’

It took a couple of minutes, but Vega’s breathing evened out and she fell into a restful sleep. Rey checked, and it seemed her dreams were pleasant this time around, calm.

In the hallway, Ben had sent the boys away when he felt Vega calming down, and he was now waiting for Rey.

She yawned as soon as she saw him, but she did answer his concerned question, saying that Vega had managed to go back to sleep.

‘I’m so tired.’, Rey sighed, because she was. She felt absolutely exhausted, more tired than when she went to sleep.

Ben was looking at her with concern, so Rey smiled sweetly and fluttered her eyelashes. ‘Carry me?’

He narrowed his eyes. ‘I see what you’re trying to do.’

‘Is it working?’, she smiled wider.

Ben sighed, deeply, but he also turned his back to her. When she didn’t move, he glared over his shoulder.

‘I won’t offer again.’

Rey climbed onto his back. With a jump, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist. He grunted, but kept her up, grabbing onto her thighs for more support.

She felt the Force moving around them, knew he was using it, somehow, to make sure he’ll keep her up, and for Rey, it was very endearing. She pushed her face into his hair, it was getting quite long, surprisingly soft and it smelt good.

Ben was very gentle with her, especially going down the stairs, going the extra mile to make sure she wasn’t being bounced too hard.

The party was still going strong, judging from the music they heard as they passed outside the mess hall. They met Poe, a clearly drunk Poe, who stared at them as they approached.

‘Am I hallucinating?’

‘You are hallucinating.’, Ben didn’t miss a beat. ‘Go to sleep, Dameron.’

‘I’m going to sleep.’, he nodded once, before stumbling towards his room.

Rey stifled her laugh into Ben’s hair. ‘Did you use the Force on him?’

‘Just a little.’

‘He won’t like that.’

‘He won’t remember by morning.’, Ben snorted. ‘He’s completely hammered.’

That was probably true, so Rey shut up, pushing her cheek to Ben’s hair, again. It really was incredibly soft.

‘Comfortable?’, he asked, a lot of sarcasm packed into a single word.

She just hummed, which prompted a snort out of him, but he also squeezed her thighs, just that tiniest bit more.

Once they got to her room, Ben placed her on the bed, as gently as he could.

‘Are you going to tuck me in?’, she couldn’t help but grin, as he reached for the covers.

‘It’s what adults do to children, is it not?’

She wasn’t a massive fan of his sarcasm, not when it was directed at her, so Rey glared. Still, Ben did tuck her in, and he even wished her a kind of nice ‘Sweet dreams.’

/∆\

Over the next weeks, Rey felt like things were getting... normal.

There were missions, diligently planned by Ben and Poe. Rey didn’t go out again, but she spent every mission in the command room, by their side. The missions were small, one base at a time, like Sanus, but they were all successful.

Slowly but surely, the First Order was going up in flames and the Resistance, while still small and in hiding, it was getting stronger with each success.

Rey and Ben also fell into something resembling normalcy. They had breakfast together each morning, various other people joining them, depending on their schedules. Rey spent the rest of the day either in the hanger working on fixing the ships, or around the base, helping out where she was needed. Sometimes, she’d remember and bring food to Ben and Poe, but most days she’d eat something quickly. Dinner was spent with Ben, Poe, Rose and Finn, every day there wasn’t a mission planned.

Afterwards, Rey and Ben trained, sometimes with their metal sabers, other times just hand to hand, either in the training room or in the clearing they claimed as theirs the first time.

It was incredible, what the constant training did to Rey.

On one hand, her body was in the best shape it has ever been. She had always been fit, but now she felt stronger than ever. And it wasn’t even just the size of her muscles, but she felt healthy, for the first time in her life. She had energy to burn and she felt amazing.

On the other hand, her mind felt strong. Rey didn’t understand what the physical training had to do with it, but mentally, it was easier to get by, day by day. The fact that she meditated every night with Ben probably helped.

Ben, in general, was doing great things to Rey. His presence by her side, it brought an easy smile to her face, the fact that she had someone to train with in swordsmanship was handy but most of all, she was basking in the levels of comfortableness they now shared.

When he first came to the Resistance, Rey was in awe every time he exhibited gentleness towards her, especially when he touched her. She used to keep stock of every time they touched, but she stopped doing that. They touched a lot during training, they had to. It wasn’t an issue, most of the time they were too busy fighting to take stock of the points of contact. That comfortableness had easily translated into their day to day life.

They knocked shoulders as they walked side by side, he guided her through a room with a hand on her back. When they ate, their sides were pressed together, if BB-9 wasn’t sitting between them. Sometimes during training, Ben would push strands of hair back behind Rey’s ear, and more than once, she had pulled down his shirt after it had ridden up.

Overall, Rey was feeling good. She was feeling strong, happy and, if she was being honest with herself, she was feeling loved. Because Ben did love her, no doubt about it. The sentiment was fully returned, and Rey didn’t feel bad about it anymore.

/∆\

One evening, after they were done with training, Ben knocked on Rey’s door, BB-9 in toe. He returned the Jedi texts, having finished reading all of them, and he asked to see Luke’s lightsaber.

He sat down on the floor, so that the droid could see as well. Ben was very gentle with the pieces of broken lightsaber, and Rey didn’t need to tap into his mind to know that he was feeling a lot of emotions, good and bad.

Rey moved to sit next to him, but Ben stopped her, politely asking for some tools. She brought what he needed, but still lowered herself to the floor, interested to see what he and BB-9 will be doing.

‘Did you actually learn anything from the books?’, she asked.

‘Some.’, Ben shrugged. ‘But you were right, there isn’t a lot of useful information on lightsabers.’

He let BB-9 scan the pieces first. _The mechanics can be fixed back together. There aren’t any parts missing_.

‘That’s good.’, Ben nodded. ‘Let’s have a look at the crystal.’

He seemed to know what he was doing, not hesitating once as he took the saber apart. Rey remembered, that he had built his own lightsaber as he was training, and she was very curious to hear him speak about it, but she didn’t ask, quickly getting completely lost in keeping track of the metal parts in front of her and how they were connected.

When Ben was done, every component was neatly laid down on the floor, and he was left holding the crystal’s chamber and the two broken pieces. As Rey told him before, the light blue gem had been broken in two perfect halves, a perfectly straight line crossing its length.

For a while, Ben said nothing, just looked at the crystal.

‘Can you feel it?’, he finally asked, not looking at Rey.

She nodded. ‘I feel its power, but it’s… dormant.’

‘It’s broken beyond repair, I’m afraid.’, Ben looked up to her. ‘I don’t think it can be fixed.’

‘I figured as much.’, Rey sighed. ‘I know kyber crystals are hard to find now, and expensive, but I read in the books about the artificial ones the Sith used. Do you think we could-’

She got cut off, when Ben gave BB-9 a little nudge and the droid popped open one of its storage spaces. There was something small tucked away in it, something that glowed blue. Rey gasped, because the strength she felt coming from that crystal, is was stronger than Luke’s.

‘Take it.’, Ben said gently, and Rey didn’t hesitate.

The crystal felt warm to the touch, but not enough to hurt. Inexplicably, she instantly felt connected to it. It was hard for Rey to put into words, but she did feel some sort of Force connection to this crystal, something that she had never felt with Luke’s lightsaber, not since that first time it called to her.

With wide eyes, she looked up at Ben, who was just watching her, with a very small smile on his face.

 _Master Ben wants to gift you the crystal_ , BB-9 beeped very loudly.

‘How did you get this?’, she breathed out.

‘I didn’t, technically. Lando left today.’

Rey nodded, because she did know that. Even if they hadn’t actually spent any time together in the past weeks, Lando did come and say goodbye to her.

‘He gave me this, refused to tell me where he stole it from.’, Ben went on. ‘He thought I’d want to change my crossguard. I don’t.’

‘You don’t?’

He shook his head, eyes going to the desk, where Rey had put it. ‘I made my lightsaber, I’ve been fighting with it for a long time, I _know_ it. Even if it was made in a place of darkness, it doesn’t have to be a part of it anymore. If I’m in the light, then so shall my lightsaber be.’

Ben turned to look at Rey, as he gently wrapped her fingers around the crystal. ‘You should have it. This’, he ran his fingers over the broken pieces of Luke’s crystal, ‘this was never yours. It was a way to bring you into the Force, to awaken the power in you. But this lightsaber was never truly yours. You feel it, don’t you?’

She nodded, a little shakily, fingers holding the new crystal so strongly, it was probably leaving indents in her palm.

‘The moment you touched it, you felt something, didn’t you? A connection?’

Again, Rey nodded, making Ben’s smile grow wider.

‘I didn’t. I didn’t feel that but I’m really glad that you did. It means that the crystal will respond to you, and the lightsaber will be powerful.’

She looked down to all the pieces neatly arranged on the ground.

‘Yes, you should use these.’, Ben was quick to say. ‘You still hold some connection to Luke, don’t you?’

‘He taught me… not a lot, but enough.’, Rey admitted. ‘And he may have been a grumpy old man, but I cared for him.’

‘So use these pieces.’, Ben nodded in understanding. ‘And make your own lightsaber out of them.’

 _I can help!_ , BB-9 went as far as pulling out all the tool arms it had.

‘I have a feeling Rey won’t be needing our help, BB-9.’, he was smirking.

Unperturbed, she nodded, because watching Ben take the weapon apart, looking at all of its insides laid out in front of her, Rey knew what she needed to do.

The first thing was to move everything up to her desk, where all of her tools and spare parts were messily stored. After assuring herself that Ben was going to stay, Rey took a deep breath and got to work.

Time passing eluded her. The sounds, coming from the base or from her room, they passed through her ears without leaving an imprint. She didn’t think of anything, didn’t want to think about anything. There was nothing, nothing else except for her, the Force, and the metals in her hands.

When she was done, it didn’t look like Luke’s lightsaber at all, even if she used most of the materials from it. The interior was the same, but the outside wasn’t, Rey’s lightsaber was more rugged looking. The metal wasn’t shining because she had used older pieced of copper, not rusted but matted by time.

It was perfect and she couldn’t wait to turn it on.

‘Let’s go outside.’, she couldn’t contain her excitement, and neither did BB-9.

Of course, Ben was quick to agree. He hesitated, however, when Rey got out his crossguard and extended it to him.

‘Come on.’, she said strongly.

‘Maybe you should-’

‘Don’t ruin this for me.’, she went as far as grabbing his hand and placing the crossguard in it. ‘Now come on.’

With a sigh and a tremor passing his fingers, Ben followed Rey outside. To her shock, the suns were just coming out, she really did not realize she had spent all night working on the lightsaber.

Ben paid it no mind. He walked a little far out of the base entrance, but didn’t step into the woods. With a patented Kylo Ren move, he flicked his lightsaber on as he stomped his right leg, and he twirled the crossguard a few time, casting red over his face and body. Rey felt absolutely no fear in her, not a trace of it, not even when Ben steeled his face and all but ordered her to attack.

She didn’t, not immediately. Instead, Rey centered herself and the Force within, and she took a deep breath before turning on her lightsaber. As the crystal suggested, it was blue, but it was darker than Luke’s, the light it casted just a little darker, a little deeper. It was the color of the waters of Ahch-To and it was beautiful.

Igniting her lightsaber made all previous excitement escape Rey. Now, she felt calm to her core.

Ben called her name again, strongly. She grinned before she ran at him, not hesitating to attack. The first time their two sabers crossed, they both froze. Rey hadn’t noticed it before when they fought, but the lights mixed on Ben’s face. There was red, mostly, yes, but there was purple as well. Bright purple, a little pink, the combination of their two lightsabers. He looked absolutely gorgeous and the moment took her breath away.

He didn’t let her have it for too long, detaching himself from the hold and attacking again.

Even if Rey had spent two hours training with him last evening, even if she had spent the night awake, in an uncomfortable chair, working on her weapon, she did not feel tired. She felt amazing, like she always did when she was training with Ben, but it was more now. The smell of ozone in the air, the buzz of the ignited crystals, the light dancing on their bodies, the power between them every time their lightsabers met.

There was no winner for a long, long while. But then, Ben got too close. Not from a fighting point of view, but from a personal one. He got too close, their faces were so close together, a single breath away. It would have been the easiest thing in the world, for him to kiss her. Or for her to kiss him.

It clearly was the exact thing he was thinking of, because Ben froze completely and through the Force, Rey felt a surge of pure and unaltered want. Even after he got control over the wall he put up against her, he still didn’t move.

So Rey smirked, and shamelessly tripped him. Crude, but highly effective, because Ben went down with an undignified yelp. She grinned down at him, taking great pleasure from the shocked, yet betrayed way he was looking up at her.

Rey shut off her saber, and he was quick to do the same. She also extended a hand to help him up, which he took, and forgot to let go of after he was on his own two feet.

‘Great work, guys!’, Poe’s voice startled them.

The man was shirtless, in a pair of very loose sleeping pants, standing in the base's entry way with BB-8 by his feet and his hair a mess. Poe was glaring at them, hands on his hips and brows frowning.

‘What happened?, Rey asked, quickly making her way to him.

‘What happened?’, Poe spluttered. ‘BB-8 woke me up saying you two were up to mischief!’

Rey looked down at the droid in question.

 _You were both running with lightsabers_ , it sounded indignant. _What was I supposed to think?_

‘That’s fair’, Rey nodded, turning back to Poe, ‘but we were just trying out my new lightsaber.’

Poe looked at it with wide eyes. She explained, quickly, about how Ben came into the possession of the crystal and how she spent all night working on it, and it did mellow down the man.

‘Just… would you please keep his lightsaber? I don’t mind if you train with them, but just for my sake, keep them both in your room?’

She easily agreed to that, even if it was pointless. It would be very easy for Ben to get his hands on his crossguard, should he choose to. He wouldn’t do that, certainly, not without an actual reason.

‘And get some rest, the both of you.’, Poe narrowed his eyes. ‘Separately.’

Rey slapped his chest with the back of her hand, making Poe snicker. Ben came to their side, fully composed, acting like he didn’t just hear their interaction.

‘We have planning to do.’, he told Poe. ‘I don’t need a lot of sleep.’

‘No, buddy. Finn and I have some other work to do today, you were going to take a day off either way.’

Ben wasn’t terribly upset. He joined Rey for a really early breakfast, gave her his portion of fruits, easily gave her the crossguard back, and promised to get some sleep as they parted ways.

/∆\

When Rey woke up, the entire base was scrambling, much to her confusion. It only grew, when in the command room, she saw that Ben was laughing hysterically and Poe was yelling at him to stop, even if he was having trouble controlling his own laughter.

Finn was there, staring, from Ben to Poe and back. He was the only one able to explain to Rey what had happened. Apparently, two First Order commanders got in a dispute so bad, they obliterated each other’s ships, taking thousands of Stormtroopers with them.

‘That’s incredible!’, she managed to stammer out.

‘I know, right?’, Poe was overly excited. ‘We can just sit on our asses and the First Order will destroy itself.’

‘No!’, Finn said very strongly.

Rey wanted to say something, but Ben laughed terribly loudly then.

‘Stop!’, she told him sternly. ‘Please, just stop it already.’

His laugh was beautiful, but unnecessary and annoying right then.

Surprisingly, Ben did stop laughing, straightening up and taking a few deep breaths. ‘I apologize, but you have to admit, this is mind blowing.’

‘But what does it mean for us?’, Finn pointed out.

‘We can’t rely on it happening again.’, Ben told Poe.

‘No, I know that. The galaxy is not that lucky.’

‘But the Resistance is, apparently.’, Ben countered, smirking at Poe.

The other man narrowed his eyes. ‘The First Oder is scrambling. You want to attack them now.’

Ben’s smirk widened. ‘Not _right_ now. But maybe tomorrow.’

Of course, Poe was quick to get on board with that plan. Finn was a little reluctant, but it didn’t take long for him to join the other two men in planning. Quickly enough, the command room was filled with people strategizing, arguing over which of the remaining First Over bases they should target first.

It was not a discussion Rey was expected to partake in, nor did she wish to. She was hungry, so she detached herself from the pandemonium of the command room and headed to the mess hall. The BBs decided to keep her company, which was fine and very entertaining to Rey. Who knew the droids liked to gossip about the people on base so much?

She lingered in the mess hall and sure enough, Connix came and got her.

The base they were targeting, called Coach, was a medium sized training facility for Stormtroopers. Because of its position very close to civilian settlements, they couldn’t strike an air attack, it was too dangerous. So a frontal attack will be their tactic, the Resistance going hand to hand with the Stormtroopers.

That sounded very dangerous and reckless to Rey, but Ben was quick to explain that according to the files and what he knew of standard First Order procedure, the Stormtroopers present at Coach right then will mostly be in the first part of their training. While that meant there will be a lot of children, it also meant Stormtroopers with less training.

‘What will happen to them?’, Rey couldn’t help but ask. ‘If the mission is a success, and we take over the base, what will happen to the children?’

‘We have to help them.’, Finn said strongly. ‘I know we can’t bring them here, but we can’t leave them there either.’

It was clear that Poe didn’t have a solution to the problem.

‘Naboo has always had an open policy for refugees.’, Ben said in a low voice, making everyone’s head snap to him.

‘An undeclared one, maybe.’, Poe said slowly. ‘It’s not part of their… The Queen never… I mean-’

‘Yes’, Ben interrupted the babbling, ‘you’re right. But Naboo has a very high number of orphanages, immensely more than a planet that size needs.’

‘Really?’, Finn asked, excitement sparkling in his eyes.

Ben nodded, eyes skipping across the room. ‘We could ask Miss-, I mean Queen Dor.’

‘She’s been an ally to the Resistance, always.’, Poe said. ‘But a silent one. If she agrees to this, she might as well yell it across the galaxy.’

‘Now’s a good time as any.’, Ben shrugged. ‘The Resistance has never been as close to destroying the First Order.’

‘That’s true.’, Poe said with feeling.

 _She’s a friend of the kid’s!_ , Chewie said from a corner of the room.

Ben blushed, a little, but held his own. ‘The Queen will never do anything in the detriment of her people, but she will, at least, listen to me.’

‘Let’s do it.’, Poe nodded, grabbing the other man’s shoulder. ‘As much as I want to do this tomorrow, we can’t unless we have somewhere to take all the kids. But after that’, he turned to the rest of the room, ‘this is an all hands on deck mission. If you can fight and think you’re up for this, then you’re coming. All of you.’

‘All?’, Ben said lowly in the silence that followed.

‘You bet your ass you’re coming. The both of you.’, Poe went as far as pointing to Rey. ‘If there was ever a moment we need to shock the shit out of the First Order, it’s now.’

‘May we join you as well?’, Raf said strongly, drawing attention to the group of former Stormtroopers.

Poe didn’t hesitate to agree, but Finn pointed out that some of them were still recovering from their injuries and might not be able to join. Not much was said afterwards, Poe urging everyone to get ready.

Of course, Rey grabbed her lightsaber and headed outside, where she spent a few hours alone, training before going to bed.

/∆\

She was woken up early in the morning by Poe’s voice. It took her a second to realize that he was not in her room, but talking over the base intercom. Queen Dor must have accepted to house the children, because the mission was a go and everyone suited to fight was expected in the command room in two hours.

Rey steeled herself. She took a long time choosing what to wear, finally settling on a pair of dark pants and a black sleeveless top, very fit on her body. It was a comfortable outfit, easy to move in, kind of similar to what she wore on Jakku. After she put her hair up in her usual three buns, and put on a belt to keep her blaster and lightsaber, Rey was ready.

She headed to the mess hall first, knowing she needed to eat something before leaving, and she was quick about it.

Even if it was earlier than the two hour mark Poe had set, the command room was bustling. Finn and Rose were arguing over how much fire power they needed, Poe and Delany were arguing over a map of Coach Base, and Ben was talking with Mally.

A very distressed BB-9 rushed to Rey, followed by BB-8 in a similar state.

 _Master Ben is leaving me,_  BB-9 wailed. _He’s going on the mission without me._

 _Me too_ , BB-8 added. _All droids are getting left behind._

‘I’m sure there’s a good strategic reason for that, BBs.’, Rey said gently. ‘It’s a dangerous mission, Ben and Poe don’t want you to get hurt.’

 _That hasn’t stopped him before_ , a very indignant BB-8 said, making Rey smile.

She also hugged the two droids, both of them beeping sweetly at her.

 _What if you don’t come back?_ , BB-9 asked, kind of breaking Rey’s heart.

‘I know it’s dangerous, but we’ll do our best, to complete the mission and to come back unhurt.’

 _But what if-,_ BB-9 tried, but Rey cut it off.

‘We’ll have each other’s back, that I can promise you.’

_Promise?_

‘Yes, BB-9, I promise. I’ll get Ben back to you.’

 _What about Poe?_ , BB-8 beeped loudly.

‘Poe too.’, Rey agreed. ‘I promise.’

_Good, cause he gets stupid when I’m not around._

‘I heard that, BB-8!’, Poe yelled from the other side of the room.

 _It’s true!_ , BB-8 argued. _The last time you sent me away, evil Darth Boy tortured you_. _And when I left with Rose and Finn, you rebelled against the Resistance!_

The command room fell utterly silent at that, everyone watching Poe’s cheeks turn red.

‘You’re absolutely right, BB-8.’, Ben said slowly. ‘Poe really should stay behind as well.’

Poe turned to Ben and growled at him. ‘Stop trying to get me to stay behind, asshole!’

‘Don’t call me an asshole, Commander Dameron.’, Ben quickly countered, equally angry. ‘And don’t put yourself in unnecessary risky situations-’

‘How can I ask of anyone to go if I’m not going?’

‘The Resistance can’t survive without a leader! The First Order lost its leader and it’s in pieces! You have to-’

‘Fight alongside my men and-’

‘You’re a stubborn-’

Rey couldn’t keep track anymore, the two men were talking over each other, voices raised high and anger evident.

‘They’ve been arguing about it all morning.’, a surprisingly calm Finn came to her side.

 _And half the night_ , BB-9 added.

Rey pondered it. ‘There’s no way either of us is going to get them to stop arguing.’

Finn snorted. ‘Yeah, that’s a definitive no.’

‘Could we convince Poe to stay behind?’

‘Don’t think so.’

‘How long till the mission brief?’

 _57 minutes_ , BB-9 supplied.

‘Maybe they won’t kill each other till then.’, Rey shrugged.

_Master Ben promised Commander Poe he won’t kill anybody!_

‘He did?’, Finn frowned down at BB-9.

_Yes, on the first day we came here! Commander Poe asked Master Ben if he was here to kill Sunshine and he promised it then._

‘You know’, Finn sighed, turning to Rey, ‘he still surprises me.’

She smiled at that. ‘It’s because you’re still expecting to turn around and see him with a lightsaber pointed at you.’

‘Thanks for reminding me of that’, he rolled his eyes, ‘especially considering he’s coming along on this mission, and he’s bringing his lightsaber.’

‘I promise you that Ben won’t ever point his lightsaber at you again.’

Finn narrowed his eyes. ‘How can _you_ promise that?’

She grinned. ‘Ben wouldn’t do anything to upset me. And I love you, so you’re safe.’

He sighed again. ‘You’re saying something horrible and following it up with something lovely so I won’t get upset. You’re manipulating me.’

‘I would never!’ Rey managed to keep a straight face for all of three seconds, before she burst out laughing.

Finn wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she laughed, shaking his head.

‘Come on, let’s stop our leader from giving our best strategist a wedgie.’

‘What’s a wedgie?’ She had never heard the word before.

Finn snorted. ‘I hope you never find out, Rey.’

/∆\

When Ben said there was going to be a full frontal attack, it was exactly what he meant. They flew in the Falcon and the transporter Ben stole from the First Order, and they landed their ships right on the base’s front garden, flattening a few flower bushes in the process.

Why a First Order training facility would have flowers installed at its entrance was a mystery to Rey, but she didn’t dwell on it.

It didn’t take long, for the Stormtroopers to rush out of the facility. The Resistance was outnumbered, but not by a lot. The intel they had suggested that these were the security of the base, not the trainees.

Nobody fired, everything was silent. The Resistance and the First Order were standing in two lines, in front of each other. Ben was to Rey’s left, with Poe and Finn on his other side.

‘Captain Corsh’, Ben’s voice boomed over the eerie silence, ‘this doesn’t have to end in bloodshed. If you surrender now, no harm will come to you or your troops.’

‘You’re supposed to be dead, Master Ren.’, one of the Strormtroopers took a step forward.

‘Kylo Ren is dead. Ben Solo joined the Resistance.’

Rey saw a few Stormtroopers take a step back at that, clearly shocked. They recovered quickly, just as their leader took off his helmet, revealing a middle aged man with very thick blonde eyebrows.

‘Traitor.’, he said calmly, eyes moving down the line, to Finn, Raf and Mally and the couple other former Stormtroopers that were able to join the mission. ‘Traitors.’

‘Surrender now!’, Poe said loudly.

The man put back his helmet. ‘The First Order will never surrender.’

With that, he quickly fired his blaster, straight at Ben’s chest. Of course, the hit didn’t connect, the blaster shot freezing in mid air, before turning itself around and going up into the sky.

The Stormtroopers weren’t the only ones staring at Ben, most of the Resistance was too.

‘If any of you want to run’, Finn addressed the other side, ‘now is the time to lay down your blasters and do so. You’ll be safe by our ships.’

For a breath, nobody moved. Then one Strormtrooper, to the far right side, he took off his helmet, throwing it behind him.

‘FN-2183, stay where you are!’, the leader yelled angrily.

He was ignored, as the other man didn’t run, but left the formation. He didn’t go to the Resistance ships, instead he took a place in their line, next to Finn.

‘Long time no see, 2187.’

‘My name is Finn.’, he clapped his shoulder.

‘Name, huh? That’s an exciting concept.’

With that, ten other Stormtroopers took off their helmets and joined the Resistance. Three other fled, running towards the closest settlement.

Now, the First Order was pretty much matched by the Resistance.

‘Last chance to surrender.’, Poe said.

‘The First Order will never surrender!’ With that, all the remaining Stormtroopers armed their weapons.

Ben ignited his lightsaber, twirling it for pure effect. Rey did the same.

‘Are you sure about that?’, he smirked.

Two more Stormtroopers fled, much to their leader’s anger. He gave the attack order, and the Resistance was quick to charge as well.

Rey had never been in a fight like this. The closest thing had been the Praetorian Guard, but this was so much more. She was still fighting back to back with Ben, but they weren’t alone anymore.

The Resistance fought together, Rey realized, they kept each other safe. Even if you were fighting someone in front of you, you still looked to the sides to make sure your fellow men weren’t in immediate trouble.

When three Stormtroopers were giving Mally trouble, Ben flicked his wrist in that direction and they all fell to the ground. Finn had Poe’s back, keeping all the Stormtroopers away from it. Even the new ones, the ones that deflected mere minutes ago, they took care of the Resistance. When Rey was having trouble fighting two Stormtroopers and Ben was too caught up to help her, FN-2183 aided her, winking cheekily afterwards.

It was over sooner than Rey expected, the First Order lying at the feet of the Resistance.

‘We have to hurry.’, Ben said gravely. ‘They might have called for backup.’

‘We did.’, 2183 said.

‘Do you know where they’re keeping the children?’

The other man faltered at that. ‘What do you want to do to them?’

‘We’ve arranged safe housing on Naboo.’, Poe said calmly. ‘For everyone who was being trained here, not just the children.’

‘They’re all children.’, 2183 sighed. ‘The oldest one is 14.’

‘What happened to the rest?’, Finn asked, anguish clear.

‘After Ren presumably died, Hux hurried their training and stationed them as soon as he could.’

‘You’ll tell us all about it later.’, Poe said. ‘Can you take us to the kids?’

2183 was quick to nod. They ran through the base, until they reached the mess hall. All the children had been put there, and they were all clearly scared, some of them crying.

Wordlessly, all the men took a step back and let the women take point on this, but it was Rey that did the talking, after a gentle push from Poe. In the calmest voice she could muster, she explained the situation to the kids, quickly and to the point, emphasizing the fact that they needed to hurry, before the First Order arrived.

‘Where you’ll take us, will we still have to fight?’, one of the older boys asked.

‘No.’, Ben answered before Rey could. ‘No, nobody will ever force you to fight again. You’ll go to school and learn enough to be able to be whatever you want when you grow up.’

‘Promise?’, a girl with two black ponytails asked with tears on her face.

‘Promise, sweetheart.’, Ben smiled gently at her. ‘But we need to go, alright? We’ll keep you safe, but we need you to run.’

‘We can run!’, one of the older boys says, swiftly picking up one of the younger ones. Everyone was quick to follow his lead, picking up a younger child and running out the door.

Ben, with the black haired girl, and Rey, with a boy no older than 5, they were the last ones of the group.

‘What are you doing?’, Rey asked as Ben stopped close to the exit, at a terminal.

‘If I’m dead, then nobody would have bothered to change my codes. Unless Hux did that, but I’m hoping… he didn’t.’

He turned to Rey, grinning, as the monitor in front of him started flashing the words _Last Light ACTIVATED_. He had set the building to self destruct.

‘Will the villages around be-’

‘No, the engineers always made sure of it.’

‘Good.’, Rey grinned. ‘Then let’s go!’

Side by side, they ran back to the Falcon.

Only Poe and Chewie were on board, and about 40 children, of various ages. The corridors were crowded, and there was crying heard from every corner, but they were on a plotted course straight to Naboo.

It wasn’t a long journey, just under two hours, and as Poe and Chewie flew, Rey and Ben made sure the kids weren’t hurt, and did their best to calm down the smaller ones.

But when Chewie said that they were coming up on Naboo, Rey was quick to rush to the cockpit. Of course, the sight took her breath away, she didn’t think she will ever get used to seeing a planet from outer space, especially one as beautiful as this.

‘Pretty stars, huh?’, Poe teased, making fun of what she said during the Holdo mission.

Rey huffed, but didn’t find it in herself to deny it. ‘Pretty planet.’

‘Pretty girl going to the pretty planet.’, he winked at her.

Clearly, Poe was in a good mood. She rolled her eyes, as she usually did when he hit on her.

‘I’ll get the kids ready.’

They landed quickly, in a hanger close to a lake. There were a lot of people waiting for them, a couple of men and women dressed the same, in red simple clothes. They were probably from the orphanage, and next to them, there were guards. But their weapons were hidden, and Rey appreciated it immensely.

The kids were still scared, even if the older ones were putting on a brave face. But the people from Naboo, they were very kind, instantly. They organically formed small groups of kids, and spoke to them, introducing themselves and talking about the orphanage they were going to.

There was another woman there, who was clearly sent by the Queen, judging by the gorgeous gown she wore and the way she held herself. She made her way to Poe’s side, saying that they were expected to meet with the Queen. Poe tried to get out of it, saying that it wasn’t safe for them to hang around, if the First Order somehow managed to track them, but Ben cut him off, politely telling the woman they will be honored to join the Queen.

They said goodbye to the kids before they left. The older boys shook hands with Poe and Ben, all the girls came and gave Rey a hug, thanking her sweetly. The little girl with the dark hair put up in two ponytails went to Ben, as well. Without any hesitation, she grabbed a hold of his hand and hugged it tightly to her chest.

It was the first time Ben faltered that day.

‘Thank you for taking us from the bad place, mister.’, the child said sweetly, looking up at Ben. She then kissed the top of Ben’s knuckles, making a very loud _muah_ sound.

Ben’s mental wall fell completely at that, and Rey felt an onslaught of emotions, none of them hers. Surprise and guilt, excitement and fondness, pain and terror. Beyond everything else, terror, of this child getting hurt.

He recovered quickly enough. Ben smiled at the little girl, placing his free hand on the top of her head.

‘What’s your name, sweetheart?’

‘Bari.’, came the prompt response, paired with a grin that was missing two teeth.

‘You’re very welcome, Bari. Take care of yourself, alright? And be good.’

‘I will!’. She kissed Ben’s fingers one more time before running to the closest adult dressed in red.

The kids left, with parting waves and a couple of more yelled thank you’s, and the four of them were escorted to a nearby house. It was incredibly large, and breathtakingly beautiful, set on the edge of the lake.

‘Breathe, Rey.’, Ben knocked their shoulders together.

‘I’ve never been anywhere this beautiful.’, she breathed out.

‘Yeah, me neither.’, Poe fell in line with the two of them. ‘I feel weird.’

‘I feel inadequate.’, Rey agreed.

Of course, they both turned around to look at Ben. Who shrugged, unperturbed.

‘We used to come here on vacation every time mother got some time off. Miss Dor has known me since I was a baby.’

‘Queen Dor.’, Poe said slowly. ‘Aren’t we supposed to address her as _Queen_ Dor?’

Ben smirked. _‘You_ are, yes.’

The woman escorting them giggled at that, apologizing quickly after. It just made Ben’s smirk widen. It stayed on, as they were guided into a room.

It was a large room, with a heavy wooden table fit in the middle, filled with colorful food. One of the walls was made out of glass, looking over the lake. There were no other people in the room, except for the Queen. While the dress she wore was still beautiful, it was simple, a lot more casual looking than the last time Rey saw the woman, at Leia’s funeral. And her face was devoid of paints, showing her true age.

Her eyes were the same, though, kind and fond, especially when she saw the smile on Ben’s face. Without saying anything, she hugged him, which he allowed with just a little stiffness across his shoulders. She then shook Poe’s hand, ruffled the hair on Chewie’s head, which he, surprisingly, allowed, and then she came to Rey’s side. She was as polite as she could, as she had learned, but the Queen just shook her head and hugged her, briefly.

Then she ordered them to sit down and eat, which they were quick to comply with. Ben wordlessly started piling things onto Rey’s plate, and she had no doubt she was going to like each and every one of them. Poe eyed them in confusion, Chewie was too busy stuffing food in his mouth, and the Queen was smiling fondly at them.

‘Queen Dor, thank you for agreeing to take in these children.’, Poe said gently.

‘I was very glad you reached out to me.’, the Queen tilted her head. ‘There are always a lot of losses in a war, but the loss of potential is one that is usually overruled. Rest assured, the children will be well taken cared of.’

‘I don’t doubt that.’, Poe smiled wildly.

‘Politics are always a complicated thing.’, the woman went on, looking between Ben and Poe. ‘I am sorry I cannot help you in the ways I’d wish to, but this, this is something I can do.’

‘You should still be careful, Miss Dor.’, Ben said. ‘We took all the precautions we could to hide our tracks, but the First Order might still find a way to track their assets down.’

‘We have security in place. Just because we are a peaceful nation does not mean we are naive.’

Ben nodded at that, and returned to his food. The Queen’s eyes settled on Rey. She blushed, despite herself, and chewed faster.

It made the older woman smile. ‘I have heard a lot of stories about you, Rey.’

She was shocked by this and the Queen chuckled.

‘Word travels fast across the galaxy, my child, especially words of power and hope.’

‘I just hope I’m-’

‘Don’t doubt yourself.’, the Queen strongly cut her off. ‘You know the Force, better than I do. You know that nothing is… misplaced.’

 _I need someone to show me my place in all this_ , Rey had said.

 _I don’t think this is all what you are meant to do_ , Ben had said.

‘You’re right where you need to be’, the Queen smiled at her, ‘and you’re doing exactly what you need to do. Don’t ever doubt that, and you will find the strength you need.’

‘The Queen is wise, you know.’, Ben knocked their knees together. ‘You should listen to your elders.’

‘Boy, you did not just call me old.’, Queen Dor scoffed, very unlady like.

Ben grinned at her. ‘You’re old, Miss. Old and wrinkly.’

‘I will smack you.’

‘You’ll have to catch me first.’

The woman narrowed her eyes. ‘Better yet, I’ll get Chewie to smack you.’

He was quick to agree to that.

‘I look forward to it’, Ben snorted, ‘but we should really go back. Thank you for everything.’

‘Anytime, and I mean that.’, she turned to Poe. ‘If there is any way I can help, I will do it so please, do not hesitate to call.’

‘Thank you.’, Poe got up, and they were all quick to follow.

‘Ben’, the Queen leveled him with a look, ‘when this is all over, your mother’s house in the Lake County will be prepared for you and your friends. I won’t take no for an answer.’

He nodded, smiling softly. ‘Then I won’t give it.’ He moved to leave, but stopped abruptly.

‘Yes, Rey’, Ben said easily, ‘you can have another fruit tart.’

She had been thinking about it, but did not feel Ben protruding in her mind.

‘Yes, Ben’, the Queen countered, ‘you can have another chocolate tart.’

He wordlessly picked one up and shoved the whole thing into his mouth, even if the tart was too large for that. Ben’s cheeks were bulging as he chewed.

The Queen rolled her eyes. ‘It’s good to know your manners are as abysmal as ever. Some things never change, do they?’

Ben shoved another tart into his mouth, and headed towards the exit.

Mortified for him, Rey turned to the Queen. The older woman was smiling fondly, shaking her head. She also pushed the fruit tart plate closer to Rey, and she was quick to take one, smiling her thanks.

‘You take care of your boys, Rey.’, the Queen winked. ‘And let them take care of you.’

Neither of the men had heard it, but it still made Rey blush furiously all the way to the Falcon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd give my first born to have someone draw Ben giving Rey a piggyback ride.   
> I'd also give my second born to see Poe flying the Falcon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a bad night, and she has a lot of bad days and bad nights in the weeks that follow. She breaks down, and a surprising someone is there to pick her up. Ben makes a mistake, but his apology is more than Rey needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild Poe/Rey ahead. very very mild, it's really not Like That.  
> also. angst, woohoo! some gore and a lil bit of naughty times. be mindful :)

 

For the first time in a long while, Rey had a nightmare and somehow, it was something different than ever before.

She was in a very old place, made out of cold stone and harsh metal. It was dark, the temperature was low and it felt very ancient, to Rey. She was running, along long corridors, trying to escape, not the place itself, but the noise.

There were screams, loud and desperate, the screams of children being slaughtered. She couldn’t see them, not exactly, but she caught glimpses in the corner of her eyes. Children being burned, cut, hit and bled dry.

Rey knew that she couldn’t save them, she was completely powerless. She couldn’t bare the noise, she wanted it to end, needed silence more than anything else.

But the most disturbing thing was that she knew it was a nightmare. She knew it was not real, she knew she was safe in her room at the base, she realized she had never been in such a place before and most of all, she knew that the children they saved from the First Order were safe on Naboo.

While she was afraid and desperate for relief, Rey also felt… detached. It wasn’t real, it was not a past or a future, it was just a nightmare that she will wake up from.

And she did wake up, with a scream, just as Ben barged in.

Before she realized what was happening, the door to her room was closed, the lights had been turned on and he was sitting at the edge of her bed, holding her tightly against his chest.

Rey breathed deeply, taking comfort from the warmth radiating from Ben’s body and the lingering scent of ozone. It didn’t take too long for her to come back to herself and only then did she realize that Ben was apologizing, over and over again.

She gently pushed away from his hold. ‘What are you apologizing for?’

‘Rey’, his voice shook, ‘that wasn’t your dream.’

‘What?’

‘It was my dream. I… Our control isn’t as powerful when we sleep. Sometimes, our dreams can bleed through our connection.’

She just stared at him.

‘I didn’t realize it at first’, he looked away from her, ‘but I think it happened a lot after Crait. I could never figure out if I was doing it or not, but-’

‘I did have a lot of nightmares then.’

Ben flinched.

‘But they stopped after you came here.’

‘I stopped having them once I escaped. But today was… rough.’

Instinctively, she grabbed his hand, which he was quick to accommodate.

‘What about now?’, she wanted to stray him away from the darkest thoughts. ‘Did you realize it was happening?’

Ben shook his head. ‘I woke up and felt your distress. I’m sorry, Rey.’

‘No, please don’t apologize. You can’t control your dreams. Neither can I.’

He sighed. ‘I really wish we’d understand more about it.’

‘To be fair, we haven’t really tried to do that.’, Rey pointed out. ‘We’ve been meditating and training together, but we haven’t done anything to understand our bond. Or test it.’

‘I wouldn’t even know where to start.’

If he didn’t, then Rey surely didn’t either. ‘Luke never spoke about his training.’

Ben looked to the side at that, eyes focusing on the Jedi books. He was silent for a long while, clearly thinking. Absently, he ran his thumb over Rey’s wrist.

‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we should talk to the droids.’

Rey frowned. ‘What could the BBs-’

‘No.’, Ben pulled a face. ‘Not the BBs, but R2 and 3PO. They were there, when Luke received his Jedi training. I know that, but not much else.’

‘Alright, we’ll ask. But we might be very busy from this point on.’

Ben nodded at that, opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t when he noticed Rey trying to hide a yawn. Instead he smiled.

‘Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?’

‘I wouldn’t mind.’, she admitted, despite her blush.

As she got back under the covers, Ben switched off the light. He came back to the bed, but sat down on the floor next to it, facing Rey. She couldn’t see much in the dark, but his warm eyes were sparkling from what little light the moon was providing.

‘You said you’d teach me how to block you out.’, Rey whispered.

‘I did say that. There hasn’t really been any time.’

‘You’ve been… polite about it. Keeping out of my head. Thank you.’

There were fingers gently running through her hair, prompting her to close her eyes.

‘It’s harder than I thought.’, Ben whispered after a while.

‘I know.’ There were moments when Rey wanted nothing more but to close her eyes and dig into the deepest most hidden thoughts of Ben and while she had been more liberal than him, it was a struggle to stay away.

‘Rey? Go to sleep.’ He said it very softly and paired it with a featherlight kiss on her forehead.

She did fall asleep, but just before, there was a thought in the very back of her head, that she tried her best to shield from Ben.

The dream she had on Coruscant, was it hers or Ben’s?

/∆\

For breakfast the next morning, she was joined only by Ben and Poe, who were barely eating between talking strategy for the next mission.

They were all startled when Vega ran to their table. She was panting and crying, but she was smiling wildly. She grabbed a hold of Rey’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

‘I’m not pregnant.’, the woman said in a disbelieving whisper.

Rey’s response to that was to yell, get off the chair and hug Vega tightly. She was still crying, but they were both laughing.

‘Thank you, Rey.’, Vega said as they detached.

‘I didn’t do anything.’, she shook her head. ‘But I am so very happy for you.’

Vega turned to look at Poe. He was clearly confused, but got over it quickly, grinning wildly at the woman.

‘You can drink now! You missed out on all the alcohol at the last party.’

She snorted at that. ‘You know what else I can do now? Participate actively in missions.’

Poe’s expression instantly turned serious. ‘Are you sure you’re ready for that?’

Vega nodded strongly. ‘I’m ready to burn those bastards.’

‘Well you’re in the right place for that.’, Poe grinned, extending his hand, which she was quick to shake.

‘Vega’, Ben said gently, ‘you should go tell your friends. They’ve been particularly worried, this morning.’

‘It must be so difficult for you, feeling all of our emotions.’

Ben shook his head. ‘I know how to block that out. But it’s difficult to do that when you wake up to Mally and Raf yelling at each other because you weren’t in your room.’

‘Sorry about that.’, she snorted. ‘I better go and get them.’

She squeezed Ben’s shoulder and threw Rey and Poe one last look, before running out of the mess hall.

‘I feel like I missed something.’, Poe said in her wake.

‘You have.’, Rey nodded. ‘But it doesn’t matter anymore, the bastard burned with Sanus.’

‘Okay.’, Poe said slowly, before shaking his head. ‘I think it’s safe to give up on their guards, right?’

‘Yes.’, Ben nodded.

‘But… all of them?’, Poe insisted.

‘I won’t deny that I’ve been paying attention to all of them. They’re safe, Poe. Fully on the Resistance’s side.’

‘They’re also nice.’, Rey felt the need to point out.

‘You think everyone is nice.’, Poe snorted.

‘That’s not true!’, she was affronted, somewhat.

‘She didn’t think I was nice, at the start.’, Ben pointed out.

Poe glared at him. ‘You kidnapped and tortured us.’

‘That’s fair.’

Ben’s statement was followed by a long silence.

‘You two are getting very friendly.’, Rey couldn’t help but point out, smiling at both of the men.

They reacted in the same manner, scoffing and wrinkling their noses. Of course, Rey laughed.

/∆\

It was the last time she laughed for a long while.

Over the next weeks, the Resistance worked non-stop. There were missions against the First Order every other day, and planning in between. They targeted smaller bases, larger ones, ships and outposts, factories and direct suppliers. Everything was very carefully planned, mostly by Ben and Poe, and all the missions were successful.

Rey went on most of them. On the days without missions, she was in the hanger, fixing ship after ship after ship, and some droids in between. Rey made a point to still train, every free second she had. There were not a lot of them, but she still exercised in the training room, or in the forest with her lightsaber. She was always alone, everyone else too busy with planning the next mission.

She hadn’t trained with Ben since before the attack on Coach Base. They hadn’t meditated together either since then, and Rey didn’t feel like doing it on her own. As soon as she got into her room, late at night, she fell into a dreamless sleep.

Rey was absolutely exhausted. It had been three long weeks of working nonstop, fighting Strormtroopers, spending hours on end in the insides of space ships, bruises appearing and disappearing on her body so often she couldn’t keep up. She only slept a handful of hours every night, and it was taking a toe, even if she didn’t realize it.

She broke down at the beginning of week four.

Ben had a few spare hours, so he offered to train. But because they haven’t trained together in so long, it was like he was making up for all the lost time. He was absolutely ruthless, pushing Rey without remorse. It was late at night, she had been awake for almost 20 hours and Ben had done nothing but push her to the floor.

‘Get up.’, he said in an emotionless voice.

‘I can’t.’, Rey whispered.

‘You’re not hurt. Get up.’

She didn’t move.

‘I know you can fight better than this, Rey, this is ridiculous. Get up.’

‘I’m tired.’, her voice shook. So did her hands.

‘You’re acting like a child.’, Ben said slowly but loudly, glaring down at her. ‘Now get your ass off the ground, this is not how we’re going to destroy the First Order.’

The words cut deeply into Rey, surprisingly so. She choked on a sob, her shaking hands coming up to her chest. She couldn’t stop the tremors, and she couldn’t stop the pain she felt in her heart.

Rey did get up, very slowly. Ben was staring at her, seemingly shocked. She couldn’t meet his eyes and she didn’t want to see him, be in the same room with him.

So Rey left, ran as fast as she could, which really wasn’t fast at all. Her shaky legs took her to the hanger, to the corner where she had set up the workspace for making her and Ben their mock lightsabers. She got under the desk, put her knees to her chest and her back to the wall, and she cried.

And cried and cried, cried her heart out, broke down completely, letting everything that had happened in the past months catch up with her. Rey didn’t try to stop herself, calm down and pick herself up. No, she let it all happen.

Poe found her sometime later. He pushed the desk aside, and when his eyes landed on her, he sighed, deeply.

‘I found her.’, he said into an earpiece. ‘She’s not hurt physically.’

Rey didn’t hear the response, but whatever it was, it made Poe roll his eyes.

‘Go to sleep, guys. I’ll take care of her tonight. No, no!’, his said louder. ‘Both of you, go to sleep, that’s an order!’

With an overly theatrical move, he took off his earpiece and shoved it in his pocket.

‘I didn't lie, did I?’, his voice got softer. ‘You’re not physically hurt?’

Rey shook her head, and wiped at her face.

‘Don’t do that.’, Poe whispered, getting on his knees in front of her. ‘Don’t do that with me.’

‘I’m so tired.’, was what she managed to say, her voice breaking.

Poe didn’t say anything. Instead he crawled next to her, got comfortable and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He did it slowly, clearly giving her time to pull away.

Rey didn’t know Poe all that well. They’ve been through so much, especially since Ben came to them, more so in the past weeks, fighting side by side and spending a lot of time together in close quarters, on the Falcon, on route to and from the missions. It made them become a little closer, of course, and she had trusted Poe since day one. But it didn’t mean that much to their relationship as people.

But in that moment, Rey wanted nothing more than to be held by Poe. So she didn’t stop him from hugging her, and she pushed her body to his, head against his chest and knees pushed to his thigh.

‘Oh, Rey.’, Poe whispered around a sigh, but he also let her sit however she liked and he held her.

The hand that was wrapped around Rey’s shoulders was there, but Poe pushed his fingers to her neck. His other arm made its way to her knee, and up her thigh, gently rubbing circles, but she didn’t mind it. Not at all.

Rey cried in Poe’s arms, kept crying until there wasn’t anything left in her anymore, and he held her through it.

When she had managed to quiet down, he kissed the side of her head. ‘Come on. Let’s get you to bed, alright?’

She nodded, and Poe helped her up, grabbing her hand and not letting go of it until they were in her room. Rey didn’t stay long in the fresher, washing quickly and putting on her sleeping clothes.

Poe was waiting for her. She had thought she was done crying, but for some reason, seeing him in her room, casually leaning against the desk and fiddling with a piece of metal in his hands, it made Rey start crying again.

He smiled at her, gently and understanding. He also took off his shoes and his jacket, and shut the lights off. Poe than grabbed her hand and wordlessly led her to the bed, getting in between her and the wall, wrapping an arm around her waist and holding her tightly.

‘I’m sorry, I can’t do this.’, he said after a while, making Rey freeze completely.

She felt him move, grumbling along, and it didn’t take long for her to realize he was taking off his pants. Her instinct to run and/or punch him was hard to control.

‘Sorry.’, he said after he recklessly threw his pants to the floor. ‘I can’t sleep in pants, I just can’t, it’s pure torture.’

Rey gulped, but she also turned around and faced him.

‘I feel like I shouldn’t be here.’, Poe smiled a little. ‘I feel like Finn should probably be here. Or Ben.’

Hearing his name made Rey flinch.

‘They were both very worried about you.’, Poe said gently. ‘Ben refused to look for you using your Force thing, and when he couldn’t find you, he got me and Finn. I’m kind of worried, actually, that they might kill each other without us there. But I did ask the BBs to keep an eye on them.’

Rey smiled at that, through her tears. Poe pushed an arm under her head, and brought her closer by gently grabbing her waist.

‘Cry your heart out, Rey. But don’t ever doubt that Ben cares about you. I’m not saying he wasn’t an idiot, cause he was, he screwed up today, but… and it pains me to admit this, but he cares about you just as much as we do.’

Rey nodded at that. ‘It wasn’t just him, today. I’m just… so tired, Poe.’

‘I know. I’ve been running everyone too hard, but it’s working. Rey, the First Order is going down. But…’, he sighed. ‘We could all use a break, huh? Think that’ll help you stop crying?’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘I told you not to do that with me.’, Poe said strongly. He also threw a leg over hers and pushed her cheek to his chest, enveloping her completely. ‘Keep crying, if that’s what you need. I’ll be here.’

Rey should have felt awkward. This should have felt wrong, being so wrapped up with this man in her bed. She had never slept with someone like this, his body pressed to her should have felt… sexual. It didn’t, not to her, not at all.

Poe was her commander. He was Finn’s friend, her friend’s friend. But he was in her bed now, and he had held her when she needed it, making a plea for Ben and, what felt like the second most important thing, he never once judged her. Because the most important thing Poe had done was kee his hands to himself, even if he was half naked in her bed.

‘Poe’, she grabbed his shirt, ‘I’m really glad you’re my friend.’

‘Go to sleep, Rey.’, he brushed her off, but she heard the smile in his voice either way.

/∆\

Rey woke up to the muffled sound of BB-8 beeping aggressively.

‘I’ll be right there, hold your circuits.’, Poe yelled through the still closed door, and it calmed the droid down.

He got out of bed and got dressed, but Rey hadn’t moved much. Still, when he came to the bed and crouched next to it, she turned around and faced him.

Poe was gentle, as he pushed stray hairs behind Rey’s ear.

‘Get some more rest, alright? You have the day off. Hell, I think I’m giving everyone the day off.’

‘Thank you, Poe. For everything.’

He smiled, a little. ‘You know, there was a time, not too long ago, when I was planning to take you to an empty part of the base and kiss you senseless.’

She knew that. She had known that, since the moment they shook hands and he smiled at her for the first time. But after last night, she didn’t feel bad about it.

‘In another world, I would have let you do that.’

He playfully narrowed his eyes. ‘In a world without Ben Solo, you mean?’

Rey didn’t answer, but she didn’t need to. Poe knew anyway, judging by the way he smirked.

‘What an awful world that would be.’

He left with a parting kiss to her forehead, and Rey fell back to sleep quickly.

/∆\

She woke up well after noon, feeling rested for the first time in what felt like forever. There was a tray of food on her desk, and BB-9 was by her bed.

_Master Ben agreed to let me keep you company!_

‘Did he bring the food?’

_Rose did. But Master Ben is very sorry for yelling at you._

‘I know that, BB-9.’, she sighed. ‘I overreacted as well, it wasn’t just his fault.’

The droid said nothing else, so Rey started eating. When she finished with her food, BB-9 rolled itself between her legs and lowered the volume of its beeps.

 _I know a secret and you want to hear it_.

‘It won’t be much of a secret if you tell me, would it?’

 _It will if you don’t say it to anyone else_.

‘That’s not very nice of you, BB-9.’

_Master Ben didn’t order me not to tell you, I’m not going against my programming._

‘But you know he wouldn’t want me to know?’

_Yes, but you need to know._

Rey sighed, because the droid wasn’t making a lot of sense. Still, she was intrigued. A secret Ben didn’t want her to know?

‘If you tell me this, will it hurt Ben?’

 _No_. BB-9 answered very quickly. _Maybe a little, in the heart, but BB-8 and I think that it’s better if you know._

‘So BB-8 knows about this, too?’, Rey was growing more and more confused.

_You’re stalling, Sunshine. Should I play you the secret or not?_

Rey sighed. After the trick Ben pulled on her last night, he deserved a little payback. And she trusted BB-9 that it was not something that will hurt him, so she nodded.

_This was recorded last night, when Master Ben and Master Poe were looking for you._

The holograms of the two men appeared in the middle of Rey’s room. She lowered herself to the ground to see better, and she clearly saw the concern on their faces.

‘You know we all care very much about Rey, right?’, there was steel in Poe’s voice.

Ben nodded. ‘Yes, and you’ll kill me if I hurt her.’

‘No.’, Poe rolled his eyes. ‘Well, yes, but that’s not exactly the conversation I want to have.’

This clearly confused Ben, who stopped walking. ‘It’s not?’

‘Look, man, I can’t even try to understand all that’s happening between you and Rey. And it’s not my business, I know. But because I care about her, and in some miniscule percentage I care about you too, asshole-’, Poe grinned as Ben rolled his eyes, ‘I’m wondering what’s holding you back.’

That instantly halted Ben’s sass.

‘Cause it’s pretty clear there is something holding you back, don’t even try to deny it.’, Poe went on with a knowing look. ‘Are you still in mourning? Is it guilt? Is it the war? Your Force thing? Finn? What?’

Ben was silent for a long time, just looking at Poe. Rey honestly thought he wasn’t going to answer.

But Poe insisted, taking a step closer. ‘What’s holding _you_ back?’

‘A secret.’

That startled Poe. ‘What secret?’

‘I’m not going to tell you.’, Ben looked away from the other man. ‘It’s not something terribly important, but it is something. It won’t hurt her, it won’t change her, but it is something that we need to address before… before anything else. There hasn’t been any time.’

Poe sighed, deeply, taking a step back. ‘Can I tell you something?’

‘You will, even if I say no.’, Ben smirked, a little.

‘We’re in the middle of a really bloody war. I’ve been in it for as long as I can remember, even before the First Order, and I’m sorry, but you haven’t.’

Ben pulled a face, at that.

‘No, listen’, Poe placated him, ‘you haven’t been in the _middle_ of it. You were high up there, giving orders left and right, without actually seeing what those orders meant.’ His voice grew harsher. ‘How often were you actually in the village you ordered to be slaughtered? How often did Kylo Ren have the blood of the innocent actually on his hands?’

Speechless, Ben just shook his head.

‘And even more than that, you have never seen the aftermath. The dead bodies, the funerals, the families shattered, the children crying, the lonely friends, everything that’s left behind after a death.’

Poe took a deep breath. ‘I have. Over and over again. And because of that, I’m telling you this: time in invaluable and it can run out like _this_.’ He clapped his hands right in front of Ben’s face.

‘You and Rey, you’re both here now, and nobody knows how long that’s going to last. Either of you might not return from the next mission. The First Order might find us tomorrow and we could all blow up.’

He smiled, a little. ‘You say there hasn’t been any time for the two of you. I say you wasted a lot of it, pal.’

Poe smiled when Ben didn’t say anything. ‘You know, I’m pretty sure she loves you too. After all the shit you’ve done as Kylo Ren, Rey still forgave you. How bad can this secret really be?’

Ben didn’t answer in any way, making Poe chuckle. ‘You just think about it, alright buddy? And go that way, I’m gonna go this way.’

The hologram turned off with a clear image of Ben staring in confusion at Poe’s retreating back.

 _I don’t know the secret_ , BB-9 said without prompting. _I asked, but he didn’t tell._

‘Why did you show me this?’, was all Rey could say.

The droid pushed its dome to her arm, its equivalent of a hug. _Because I think you and Master Ben should love each other._

Despite the mess of emotions she was feeling right then, Rey smiled at BB-9. ‘But we do love each other. Even if we never say it, we both know it’s true, secrets or no secrets.’

_You should love each other like Rose and Finn do, without hiding it._

‘BB-9, I don’t know if-’

 _You’ll think about it._ , the droid cut her off. _Promise?_

Rey took a deep breath. ‘Alright, BB-9. I promise.’

She didn’t go out of her room for the rest of the day, and BB-9 stayed with her.

They went together to the mess hall at dinner time, and everyone was there, at their usual table, including Ben. Of course, everyone was silently staring at her, after she sat down.

‘I’m fine, thank you for all the concern. I was just… very exhausted.’

‘I’m sorry.’, Ben said quickly, but in a small voice.

She looked into his eyes, and she saw how guilty he looked.

‘We both screwed up.’, Rey smiled at him. ‘It’s fine, we’ll get over it.’

‘Well that’s great to hear!’, an overly enthusiastic Poe said. ‘We have too little psych medics to handle it if everyone has a meltdown.’

‘I didn’t know we had _any_ psych medics.’, Rose frowned.

‘We don’t. Hence why we couldn’t handle it.’, Poe kept grinning.

‘I can’t be the only one exhausted.’, Rey said after a little hesitation. ‘I know how important this fight is, but-’

‘We won’t last a lot longer at this rate.’, Finn continued.

‘I know.’, Poe said quickly. ‘I’m sorry I let it get to this, but… Ben and I have a plan.’

‘A plan for what?’, it was Rose that asked.

‘Finish this. Once and for all.’

Of course, they all stared at Poe after he made such a proclamation. Except for Ben, he was calmly eating his food.

‘How many First Order bases are there left?’, Rose asked slowly.

‘Three. Two smaller ones and a larger one. We’re still working out the details, but we’re going to blow them up at the same time.’

That sounded absolutely insane, and considering what the Resistance has done in this war, that was saying something. Still, Rey trusted the boys. Poe and Ben were great on their own, but together, they were unstoppable. Insane, yes, but pretty darn unstoppable. So she didn’t say anything, ate her food and patiently waited for the mission debrief.

/∆\

Later that night, there was a knock on the door. She had a feeling Ben was going to visit her. Without getting up from where she was sitting in the middle of the bed, Rey opened the door.

‘May I come in?’, he was clearly hesitating.

Still, after Rey nodded, he sat down on the chair, in front of the bed.

‘I need to properly apologize.’

‘You don’t.’, Rey shook her head. ‘I know that-’

‘I hurt you.’, Ben said strongly, shutting her up. ‘I hurt you because I wasn’t… paying enough attention to you. I apologize.’

He took a deep breath, looking into her eyes. ‘Rey, hurting you is the last thing I want to do.’

‘I know that.’, she smiled. ‘So, then, why weren’t you… paying attention to me?’

Ben looked away from her. ‘You tend to distract me. Planning this current mission, I can’t be distracted.’

‘Then why did you offer to train?’

Still not looking at her, Ben smiled. ‘I can’t help it.’

There was no possible way she was going to be able to answer that.

Wordlessly, Ben reached into his pocket and pulled something out, two somethings, holding them up so that she could see. There were two strings of black leather, similar pendants hanging on them. One of them was made out of the copper metal Rey preferred, while the other one was silver colored, but both of them had a half of Luke’s crystal set in them. They were rugged looking, clearly hand made by someone who didn’t have a lot of training with a welding torch, but Rey liked the way they looked.

Of course, Ben gave her the one with the crystal set in copper. She didn’t reach for it, so he put it on the bed next to her, and then he knotted his necklace behind his neck, tucking the pendant safely under his shirt.

‘I don’t need shiny stones to forgive you.’, Rey pointed out.

‘I’ve been working on these for a while.’, he smiled. ‘Now seemed like a good time to gift it to you.’

‘I don’t need-’

‘But it does help, doesn’t it?’, he smirked.

Rey shook her head. ‘This was Luke’s. You should-’

‘No. You cared for him too and I’m sure he did as well. He’d want you to have it.’

‘But-’

‘Rey.’, he grabbed her hand and put the pendant in it, looking intently into her eyes. ‘I want you to have it. Is that acceptable?’

She relented at that, in sync with the warmth spreading from her heart. She hung the pendant on her neck, securing it tightly, and thanked him for the present. Ben left with a parting smile and a sweet goodbye and even though Rey didn’t feel tired, she fell asleep quickly.

/∆\

At breakfast the next morning, Poe announced that the Resistance will be taking a small break, to plan their next mission. Everyone in the mess hall cheered, and Rey felt a little of that happiness seeping through her.

Ben hesitantly asked her if she wanted to train, later that evening. She was quick to agree, making a plea to not only train with their lightsabers, but with the Force, as well. Ben had been here for months, now, and they never once used the Force when they fought. He was quick to dismiss the idea, though, saying that if she agreed, he wanted to teach her to put up mental walls against him.

Rey agreed instantly, not because she thought she needed to shield herself against Ben, but because it was a chance for them to test the bond they shared. Maybe, possibly, at least it was a start. And after the night they just had, they could use some alone time to work on it.

But until then, Rey still had work to do. So she headed to the hanger, where BB-8 was waiting with a to-do list for the day. While it was a long list, the chores were pretty insignificant and easy to do. It was mindless work, fingers moving easily on instinct, and she was grateful for it.

Finn came to visit.

‘Could we talk? Would you be up for that?’

‘If you don’t mind me still working.’

He nodded easily, sitting cross legged on the floor next to her, getting comfortable.

‘Don’t record this!’, he pointed an accusatory finger at BB-8.

 _I’ll be good this time_ , came the prompt response. There was a story there, Rey was sure, but she didn’t ask. She knew it was not what Finn was here for.

‘You want to talk about last night.’

He didn’t deny it. ‘I was convinced I was going to kill Solo last night.’

‘I appreciate it’, she smiled, ‘but it won’t be necessary.’

‘Yeah, I got that.’, Finn sighed. ‘I… talked to him.’

She raised an intrigued eyebrow at that. ‘Oh?’

‘After Poe found you, we met in the mess hall. We both needed alcohol.’

Rey snorted at that. ‘So you got drunk and shared your feelings?’

The glare he sent her way was glorious. ‘Would you please just listen to me?’

‘Sorry. Go ahead.’

‘He’s been here for a while now, and he has proven himself to the Resistance, I can’t deny that. But I never thought that someone who was Kylo Ren could be capable of feeling such guilt. And it was all because he made you cry.’

Rey didn’t know what to say to that. But Finn was clearly not done, so she busied herself with the tools in her hands and sneaking glances at him.

‘I know I don’t understand the Force bond... thing that you have. I never will, I’ll never get to have that with anybody. But it’s… it’s not just that, is it? With you and him? It’s not just the Force and fighting side by side and being in the Resistance.’

Slowly, Rey shook her head. ‘It’s not about that at all.’

Finn took a deep breath. ‘I think I’m starting to see it.’

She turned to him at that. There was a small smile on Finn’s lips, and understanding in his eyes, but it was a sad thing.

‘You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’, he said it very easily. ‘You’re the reason why I’m here, with the Resistance, fighting against the First Order instead of going down with it. If I hadn’t felt the need to save you, I wouldn’t have met Rose, and…’

His voice shook, so much so that Rey threw away her tools and grabbed his hand instead. It made Finn smile.

‘You are very special, Rey. Any guy would be lucky for you to give him the time of day. I just… really hope Solo deserves it.’

‘That’s not… Finn, I don’t love him because he deserves it. That’s not why I love him.’

He stared at her for a long while, blinking slowly and looking into her eyes. Finn must have seen something, because he sighed deeply, faking being affected.

‘Why do you love him, then?’, he had a teasing tone. ‘No, really, please tell me, what’s he got that I don’t have?’

She glared at him, taking her hand away from his hold.

‘No, really. Is it the soulful eyes? The soft hair? The abs?’

Her glare turned murderous.

‘No, wait.’, Finn sighed, very theatrical. ‘It’s the butt, isn’t it? He has a better butt than I do.’

Rey blinked three times. Then, in the most deadpan tone she could muster, told Finn that it was debatable.

Finn grinned, clearly proud with himself. ‘Yeah?’

‘You should see what your girlfriend thinks of the issue.’

‘Yeah, no, Rose is never finding out we had this conversation.’

That made Rey chuckle.

‘So.’, Finn wiggled his eyebrows. ‘Did you sleep with Poe last night?’

She threw a screwdriver at his head, making him laugh loudly.

‘I’ll leave you to work, but one more thing.’, Finn went back to being serious. ‘Solo loves you more than he knows what to do with it. I don’t doubt that anymore, and I don’t think you should, either.’

And that was what finally made Rey blush. Finn was laughing at her as he left, but it was alright.

 _These boys all love you very much_ , BB-8 said after he was sufficiently out of earshot.

Rey smiled. ‘Don’t you love me too, BB-8?’

There was a pause, the droid clearly thinking.

 _Not as much as I love Poe_.

‘Fair enough.’

/∆\

They went outside to practice, to BB-9’s evident delight. It didn’t ask questions, like it did last time, but it still beeped excitedly at every pretty flower or stray bird. Still, when Ben chose a small clearing to settle in, the droid quieted down.

They sat down in the grass, facing each other, and Rey took great comfort in the smell of the forest surrounding her, the sounds of it and the breeze ruffling her hair.

‘Before we start-’

Rey cut him off. ‘What did you tell Finn yesterday? I had a very interesting conversation with him today.’

Ben’s cheeks turned a little red, but he stood his ground. ‘That’s between me and him.’

‘And Poe?’

‘Also between me and him.’

Rey pouted.

‘Don’t do that.’, Ben snorted. ‘Would you tell me what they’ve said to you if I asked?’

‘Well, no.’, she admitted.

‘Right. So, before we start, I think we should meditate, a little. Maybe it will help clear your mind.’

So that’s what they did. It felt different, somehow. Rey couldn’t exactly explain it, but she was more attuned to Ben then before, his presence there was clearer. The calm she usually felt when meditating was heightened, as well, and when she opened her eyes and came out of it, she felt incredibly settled, like the past months of over exhaustion had never happened.

‘Did you feel that?’, she whispered.

‘Stronger.’, Ben’s response was quick. ‘What did you do?’

She shook her head. ‘Nothing, this wasn’t me.’

‘Me neither.’, he frowned.

At the same time, they reached for their pendants, which they were both wearing under their shirts.

‘Is it possible the crystal had something to do with it?’, Rey asked, highly dubious.

‘Maybe? I don’t know.’, Ben seemed very frustrated.

She shook her head. ‘It’s not why we came here for.’

‘Right.’, he took a deep breath. ‘Think of a number and hide it from me.’

‘That’s it?’, she narrowed her eyes.

‘It’s a start.’

‘No, a start would be you explaining to me how you do it, how you block me out.’

‘I don’t know how to explain it.’, Ben shrugged. ‘It’s a feeling, more than anything else.’

Rey sighed, deeply, an image of Luke slapping her hand with a leaf coming to mind. She had a feeling well thought out explanations were not something the Skywalkers were fond of.

So she closed her eyes, thought of a number and did her very best to keep it hidden from Ben. She did this for three long hours, and every time she was unsuccessful. But he was patient, and he did switch tactics, trying to explain to her how he did it, listening to her explain what she felt and working on from that.

Eventually, she did manage to put up a wall. It was a surprisingly strong wall, considering that when Ben hit it, he gasped loudly and fell on his back.

‘Are you alright?’, she asked quickly, as BB-9 beeped frantically.

He got back up, with leaves in his hair, staring at her with wide eyes.

‘I don’t understand. You’ve been trying for hours, being utterly unsuccessful, and now not only do you succeed, but you do it so strongly that it literally blows me away.’

Rey had no answer, she didn’t do anything special this time around. But now that she had managed to do it, she knew she will have no problems with doing it again.

‘Your power, while impressive’, Ben said slowly, ‘is very confusing.’

‘I’m doing my best.’

He was quick to grab her hand. ‘I know you are. And you’re doing very well. You’re doing incredible.’ He squeezed her fingers. ‘It took me years to have this much control of the Force, as much as you do now.’

‘I find that hard to believe.’

Ben tilted his head. ‘Well, to be fair, I was nine years old at the time.’

‘You got a head start.’, Rey snorted.

‘I did, but you caught up with me in just a handful of days. That’s…’, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice to a whisper, ‘It’s unbelievable. You’re unbelievable, Rey.’

She hugged him. Without hesitation, without actually thinking about it, Rey all but threw herself in his lap, so much so that Ben had to put a hand on the ground to support himself. He also yelped, which was pretty adorable. Still, he hugged her back.

 _I want a hug too_ , BB-9 said very sadly.

Ben groaned, but Rey didn’t. Instead she extended an arm and told the droid to join them. BB-9 beeped excitedly as it rolled its way to their side, wiggling around until its dome touched Ben’s chest, as well as Rey’s. She wrapped a hand around BB-9, keeping the other one firmly around Ben’s shoulders.

She closed her eyes and breathed in. The trees, the grass, the flowers. The metal. The ozone.

‘Think of a number.’, Ben whispered.

She did so instinctually, and just like that, the wall protecting her mind went up as well.

‘Unbelievable.’, he pushed his cheek against hers. ‘And I’m not saying that just so you’d forgive me for yesterday.’

_You were a jerk yesterday._

‘I can’t argue with that.’, Rey said, but she also turned around and quickly kissed Ben’s cheek before letting go of him and BB-9. ‘But I did forgive you, not right away, but as soon as I stopped crying.’

 _Do you want me to zap him?_ , BB-9 went as far as pulling out the necessary tool arm and pointing it at Ben’s face.

‘No, no, don’t do that, it’s quite alright.’, Rey pulled the droid away from Ben.

‘It’s okay.’, he snorted. ‘I got zapped twice last night.’

Rey winced. ‘Thank you for that, BB-9, but it really was not necessarily.’

_I didn’t do it for you. I did it because he was stupid._

‘I bet BB-8 doesn’t zap Poe when he’s being stupid.’, Ben kind of grumbled.

_Of course not, BB-8 curses him and calls him names. See? I’m being nice._

Of course, Ben glared at BB-9, long and hard. But then the droid apologized and pushed itself as close to him as it could get, and all the apparent anger left Ben.

‘I love this droid too much.’, he told Rey.

‘There’s no such thing as too much love.’, came her prompt request.

He wasn’t talking about BB-9, and she wasn’t either. Of course, they said nothing else on the subject as they went back to the base.

/∆\

That night, she dreamt about him again, but it was different. Not the nightmares she had before Ben came to the Resistance, not the soft, pleasant dream she had on Coruscant.

It was still pleasant, even if it was harsh. Very harsh. They were having sex, properly this time, in the hanger.

There was no buildup to this dream, Rey just found herself against the wall, with Ben inside her. Their clothes were rumpled, clearly having rushed through taking off only what was necessary, meaning their pants.

Ben was holding her up with his hands grabbing firmly at her ass, the wall was cold against her back, the metal and gasoline scents overpowered everything, she heard the low hum on machinery, and none of it mattered because Ben was ruthlessly fucking her.

He was thrusting fast into her, head pushed into the crook of her neck, grunting against her skin with each movement. Her hands were holding onto his shoulders, her nose was pressed to his hair and there was no possible way Rey was able to keep herself silent.

Ben was desperate, she felt in in her chest and against her body, and she knew how that felt, from Coruscant. So she let him take what he needed. While she felt pleasure, incredibly so, Rey let Ben take everything he needed.

The only thing she took from him was a kiss. When Ben moaned her name and pushed his nails into the flesh of her ass, Rey had to kiss him. So she roughly grabbed at his hair, straightening up his head until she could reach his lips.

Ben didn’t protest. Without faltering, he kissed her back, as fast as his hips were moving, as desperate as he was feeling, as harsh as Rey wanted it. After a couple of more thrusts, Ben stopped moving his lips. He didn’t move away, letting Rey attack his mouth, but all he did was breathe heavily.

He was close to his release, Rey knew, and she wanted it to happen. She wanted to see him, to feel him, she wanted to feel it. It didn’t take long, for Ben to come with a scream muffled against her mouth.

They stayed like that for a while, breathing harshly against each other, Ben trembling against her. After his breathing evened out, somewhat, he gave Rey a series of small chaste kisses, as he pulled out and gently lowered her legs to the ground.

He moved away then, pulling up his pants and straightening himself out. Rey moved to do the same, but he ordered her to stop. Ben then pulled her away from the wall so that he could lean his back against it, and then he not so gently asked her to turn around. With a frown, Rey turned her back to him, and he was quick to wrap his arms around her waist. He was pulling, so she leaned back against his chest, mindful not to rub her ass against him too much.

Ben didn’t linger. One hand grabbed Rey’s breast tightly, while the other moved with purpose, straight where she needed it. When he pressed down, hard, every cell in Rey’s body tingled with excitation. She arched her back and moaned loudly, and it prompted him to start moving his fingers. Ben rubbed at her with the same ruthlessness he fucked her with before, and it brought Rey to the brink very quickly.

Her legs were trembling, her toes were curled, she was holding onto Ben’s arms for support, she couldn’t get enough air inside her lungs and she couldn’t stop moaning. He was kissing her neck and when he took her earlobe between his teeth, Rey screamed his name, coming hard and-

Once again, she woke up with a gasp. But unlike the last time, now the walls in her mind were instantly put up, she just hoped it wasn’t too late, and that he didn’t see.

She also went into the fresher and quickly and shamelessly sorted herself out. There was no way she was going to survive seeing him without it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They gain insight into Luke’s Jedi training, but it doesn’t help in learning more about their bond. It doesn’t matter, anyway, because the Resistance gets information about the First Order’s plan of attack. With the end of the war on her mind, Rey shouldn’t focus on something else. But when BB-9 gets hurt, all she can think of is Ben. And for the first time, she doesn’t control herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are things actually happening in this one!

 

It was still a leisure day at the Resistance base, which Rey spent in the hanger, but working on droids. Mostly it was just maintenance, changing circuits and dusting components.

Just as she was done, Ben came to get her. With a few bowls of fruits and cups of tea neatly arranged on a tray, he announced that they had a date with the droids.

‘No, not the BBs.’, he cut her off before she got to ask. ‘R2 and 3PO are waiting outside.’

That got her moving, and it got her moving quickly, much to Ben’s amusement. The droids were waiting outside, even if they didn’t know for what, as 3PO kept whining about. Ben led them to the very edge of the forest, where he and Rey sat next to each other against a tree, with the two droids in front of them.

3PO whined about sitting on the ground, of course, but one curse word from R2 and his behind was in the grass.

‘Master Ben, what is this about?’, 3PO asked. ‘You never wished to spend time with us before.’

Rey threw Ben a look at that, which he pointedly ignored.

‘We want to know about Luke’s training.’

‘Master Luke learned how to be a pilot on Tatooine-’

‘No.’, Ben interrupted. ‘About Luke’s Jedi training.’

‘How would I know anything about Master Luke’s Jedi training?’, C3PO wailed. ‘I wasn’t there!’

 _I was. Twice_. _It sucked._

3PO translated R2’s beeps, leaving the last part out. Rey stifled a laugh, and didn’t point out that she understood what the droid was saying, thinking it would be fun to see 3PO struggle with ignoring curse words. Ben winked at her and did the same.

R2 had a lot to say about Luke’s training. The droid started by telling the story of how he and 3PO got to Tatooine and the second he mentioned Obi-Wan Kenobi, the golden droid remembered he was there and took over the story.

It wasn’t much of a story, from a training point of view, but it still took 3PO a long time to tell it. By the time Rey had eaten all the fruit, R2 was telling its friend to _shut your annoying mouth_ and took over the storytelling.

This story took place in the Degobah system, in a swamp, with a very powerful Jedi called Yoda.

Rey would be lying if she pretended to not be completely sucked into the story, hearing about this Luke, a Luke at the start of his story, learning how to be a Jedi. It was a long tale, filled with R2 cursing at Yoda and Luke both, a story made longer by 3PO’s translations.

It wasn’t a story Rey enjoyed. She didn’t like this Yoda person very much because it seemed like he wasn’t very invested in Luke. He trained him, sure, but it was in humiliating ways. And R2 pointed out every time Yoda kept something from Luke, or when he could have said more, explained more.

After the story was finished, Ben asked R2 if Yoda ever said anything about a Force bond.

_Master Luke and Darth Vader could sense each other if they were close. Talk in each other’s heads. Master Luke did it with Princess Leia, too._

Ben dismissed the droids, but made no move to get up.

‘Has Luke ever talked to you about this?’, Rey hesitantly asked.

Ben shook his head, not turning to look at her. ‘They mentioned Ben Kenobi, sometimes, for obvious reasons. Yoda, as well. But no, Luke never once spoke of his training. I know his story, the Rebellion story, but not from Luke or my parents. ’

Luke didn’t mention his training to her, either, and while that might have been because of his aversion to the Jedi, or to her, Rey didn’t think it was all that. Maybe he didn’t want to relive it, or maybe he didn’t want to showcase himself in such a position. It didn’t really matter anymore.

‘This didn’t help us.’, Ben pointed out.

‘But it did. It showed us what never to do.’

His head snapped to hers, confusion clear.

‘I’m not saying we’ll ever train someone’, Rey was quick to placate, ‘but if it happens, we’ll most definitely not make that person give us piggyback rides.’

Ben snorted, but it was clear that he didn’t think training someone else was a possibility. Rey didn’t find it in her to argue against it, so instead she smiled.

‘I think I would have liked Luke a lot more if I met him when he was younger.’

He hummed at that. ‘When he was with the Rebels, maybe. He was already a grumpy old man by the time I met him.’

‘Really?’

Ben considered. ‘Yes, when it came to teaching me control over the Force. I… when I was little, I got angry easily.’

‘What a surprise.’, Rey deadpanned.

He threw her a look, but he wasn’t too bothered.

‘I broke a lot of things, around the house, because I couldn’t control the dark side. It scared Han, it worried Leia. I think it scared Luke too.’

‘It didn’t.’, Rey said gently. ‘He saw your raw strength, but he wasn’t scared by it back then.’

‘He should have been.’

‘That’s what he said, too.’

Ben took a deep breath and smiled, a little. ‘Before he created the temple, when it was just me and him, sneaking out to practice away from my parents’ prying eyes… he used to give me chocolate, when I did something well.’

Rey was quiet for a long while, thinking about the Skywalkers. _Leia. Han. Ben. Luke._ How much love there was between them, but resentment too. How much she would have liked to know them sooner.

Because of that thought, of the strength of it, she couldn’t keep quiet.

‘Luke only had a bond with family members. Do you think-’

‘No.’, he cut her off quickly and strongly. ‘We’re not… We would have felt it.’

That was probably true, so Rey moved past it quickly. Seeing how Ben was looking at her then, she couldn’t help but think of the secret BB-9 told her about. And she couldn’t help but think about the secret she had kept from him.

Maybe if she would tell him the truth, it will help him come clean, too. It was about time, anyway. There was no reason for Rey to keep it to herself anymore, nor did she wish to.

‘I have a secret.’, Rey started, making Ben freeze completely. ‘I should have told you… a long time ago. And I should have told you yesterday, when you were teaching me to keep you out. It’s… it’s about our bond. If you really think we should look into it, then we both need to know anything and everything about it.’

Of course, Ben frowned at that, but he also relaxed, a little.

‘You said that I caught up with you in just a few days, when it came to control over the Force. That’s not exactly true.’

Rey took a deep breath. ‘The first time you were in my head, the first time I was in yours, on Starkiller. A door opened and I…  I didn’t do it on purpose, but somehow, instinctually, I knew how you accessed some of your powers. I didn’t quite understand it, then, but it was as if your training had become mine. And like a trigger being pulled, it just… opened more doors, one after another, in my mind.’

Ben was clearly thinking hard about it. ‘So when you…’, he pointed to his face, where a scar still carved his cheek.

‘Even as injured as you were’, Rey said slowly, ‘there was no possible way for me to defeat you. But I did, because I stole what you knew.’

They were silent for a while, just looking at each other. Gradually, the tension evaporated from Ben’s shoulders.

‘You’re not going to apologize?’, he asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘No.’, Rey smiled. ‘Everything that happened led us here. We’d both go mad if we’d start apologizing for all the mistakes we made.’

Ben took a deep breath. ‘Speaking of mistakes, I kept something from you too.’

She said nothing, making Ben narrow his eyes. ‘Poe told you.’

‘He didn’t.’, Rey shook her head.

It took a beat for Ben to get it, and he groaned. ‘That droid is going to be the death of me.’

‘BB-9 just wants what’s best for you. And, to be fair, you didn’t order it not to tell me, so it didn’t do absolutely anything wrong.’

He rolled his eyes, before calming down. He looked to Rey with hesitance.

‘We’re sure, by now, that our connection wasn’t forged by Snoke.’

Rey nodded at that.

‘He had nothing to do with it. Because I think… I’m pretty sure we were connected long before I joined him.’

She just blinked at him.

‘I’ve dreamt of you before.’, it took a lot out of Ben to admit this. ‘When I was a child, I saw you crying in the desert, pleading not to be left behind. And when I was older, at Luke’s temple, I saw you climbing mountains of metal, relics filled with treasures. After I joined Snoke, it never happened again but I… never really forgot you. I only really recognized you in the snow, when you stole the lightsaber from my grasp.’

That was it? The big secret holding Ben back? It was _nothing_.

‘The first time I saw you on Takodana, I recognized you.’

Ben froze at that, staring at her with wide eyes.

Rey smiled a little. ‘From a daydream. And a nightmare.’

‘What does that mean?’, he breathed out.

Blinking back treacherous tears, Rey looked away from him, even as she was reaching for his hand.

‘I think it means we were always going to end up here.’

He whispered her name then, squeezing her fingers and moving closer to her. She wasn’t in his head, and Ben wasn’t in hers, but Rey knew that as soon as she would turn her head towards him, she was going to be kissed. She wanted it terribly, but she knew it would wreck her, so she took a moment to gather her strengths.

They were interrupted by a series of alarmed beeps, BB-9 rolling its way towards them until it was in Ben’s lap. The droid’s dome was shaking violently.

 _Something terrible happened, you’re needed in the command room_.

And just like that, all thoughts of bonds and kisses were left in the wind. Rey and Ben ran back to base.

/∆\

The command room, even if it was filled with people, was deadly silent, eerily so. Poe was staring at a tablet in his hand, face pale.

Ben rushed to his side, but he didn’t quite get there. Finn intercepted him, roughly grabbing his shirt with both hands and shaking him, anger evident.

‘Raise!’

‘What?’, Ben grabbed a hold of Finn’s wrists, but didn’t push him away.

‘Operation Raise _._ ’, Finn yelled in his face. ‘What is it?’

‘I don’t-’

‘R-A-Z-E! Operation Raze! What is it?’

Ben moved his hands to Finn’s shoulders. ‘I don’t know.’, he said calmly. ‘Finn, I swear, I don’t know.’

It took a few moments, of Finn seething angrily, and then cursing wildly, things that would have made R2 feel proud, but he did let go of Ben. Who was quick to get to Poe’s side and demand to know what happened.

Grim faced and in a lowered voice, Poe explained that they have gotten intel of the First Order’s future plans, and they were grim. Their resources were stretched thin, what with the Resistance destroying the majority of their bases, but the First Order was planning to use all of their remaining resources to destabilize the galaxy.

‘We don’t know which planets they’re targeting’, Poe explained, ‘but we know they’re planning to slaughter them.’

‘The First Order doesn’t have another Death Star, another Starkiller base.’, Ben said gruffly.

‘I didn’t say they were going to destroy the planets.’, Poe sighed. ‘They’re going to slaughter the people. A couple of TIE fighters and the element of surprise, you don’t need more to raze a city to the ground.’

Ben said nothing, but grabbed the tablet Poe was still holding, eyes quickly roaming over it.

‘You’ve really never heard of Operation Raze?’, Finn asked again.

Cursing in a whisper, Ben shook his head and put the tablet down.

‘It must be something implemented after I left.’ His expression turned murderous. ‘Hux.’

‘He won’t talk.’, Poe ran a hand through his hair. ‘He’s calmed down since he’s been here, but he’s not talking. Nobody has heard him say a word in days.’

‘We don’t need him to talk.’, Rey said, looking to Ben. ‘Can he resist you?’

Ben tilted his head.

‘Did Snoke teach him how to do that?’, she insisted.

‘I don’t know. I never actually tried to get into his head.’

‘Well you’re trying now.’, Rey said strongly.

‘Go.’, Poe said pointedly. ‘This is bad, so... ‘ He looked to the people around, to Finn and Delany, to Vega and Bodhi, all the other former Strormtroopers, to Connix and the rest of his commanding officers. In the end, he leveled Ben with a strong look.

‘If you need to hurt him like I know you can, do it. We need this information, or we’re done for. The galaxy is done for.’

Holding his breath, Ben waited for someone to argue against it. Nobody did. So he took a deep breath and turned around, forcefully heading to the holding cells.

With a silent nod from Poe, Rey followed him, and Finn and Rose followed her.

 _This is going to suck_ , BB-9 said, rolling next to Rey. She couldn’t disagree.

/∆\

Hux looked pretty good, considering he was a prisoner. His clothes were clean, his chin was stubble-free, and his hair was combed. There was an empty tray of food on the desk in his room and he was sitting on a cot pushed to the wall, reading from a tablet.

‘I’m going to need you to go in.’, Ben told Rey. ‘Get him to think about Operation Raze, and I need you to get him angry. People’s defenses are usually lowered when they get angry.’

‘You’re not going inside.’, she understood.

Ben shook his head. ‘He’ll definitely try to resist if he sees me.’

‘I’m not good at interrogation.’, Rey sighed. ‘And you know it.’

‘Yes, but you’re very good at getting on people’s nerves. In fact, take Finn with you.’

Both she and Finn glared at Ben.

‘You should probably let Rey do the talking.’, he told Finn, who scoffed.

‘He’s right.’, Rose said gently. ‘Poe’s been here every day, but Hux hasn’t seen the two of you since we got him.’

Rey and Finn shared a long look.

‘I wouldn't mind punching him again.’, he shrugged.

‘Don’t knock him unconscious.’, Rey sighed. ‘It’ll be harder for Ben to get the information we need if he’s unconscious.’

 _Do you need me to zap him?_ , BB-9 plastered itself to Rey’s legs.

‘Not necessarily, but I will need you to annoy him.’

 _Just my presence will do that_ , the droid positioned itself in front of the open door.

Finn followed it and reluctantly, so did Rey.

Hux was very surprised when he saw the three of them inside of his cell, but he calmly went back to his reading. He didn’t say one word, not even when BB-9 plastered itself to his legs.

‘Long time no see, General Hugs.’, Finn said casually. He didn’t get a response.

Rey took a deep breath, making sure he heard it. She grabbed the chair and sat down right in front of him. Hux looked up over the rim of his tablet for a moment, but then he rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

BB-9 pushed itself away, saying that Hux’s feet smelled.

With a flick of Rey’s wrist, the tablet flew from his hand, banging loudly against one of the mirrored walls before it fell to the floor. Hux’s left eye twitched, but he looked unimpressed. He straightened his body up, until they were properly facing each other. He still said nothing.

BB-9 started banging its dome to one of the bed’s feet, making Hux sway slightly with each hit. He didn’t even sketch a reaction.

‘This must be very difficult for you. Someone used to give orders and lead armies, reduced to this? Reading all day and keeping silent?’

Of course, he said nothing, his face revealed nothing.

‘His name is not General Hugs, you know.’, she looked to Finn, who was leaning against the door. ‘It’s Armitage Hux.’

Turning back, Rey smiled at Hux. ‘Sounds nice, doesn’t it? It sounds like…’, she lowered her voice, ‘Anakin Skywalker, Dark Sidious.’

That got a small frown out of Hux. Clearly, he didn’t see where she was going with this.

Rey went on. ‘Han Solo, Luke Skywalker.’

He narrowed his eyes at that, still keeping quiet.

‘Armitage Hux.’, she said in the same dramatic manner, before bringing her voice back to normal. ‘It sounds like the stuff of legends, doesn’t it? But you’re not the stuff of legends now, are you?’

Since she had walked into the room, Rey had felt Ben’s presence in the Force, sensed him piercing through Hux’s thoughts. Now, though, she had felt a spike of what Hux was feeling, and thankfully, it was annoyance, directed straight at her.

She relaxed her body, bringing her legs up on his bed, shamelessly crossing her ankles on it. Hux eyed the boots she was wearing, and the way they were dirtying his sheet. Still, he said nothing, even if his face betrayed his disgust.

‘You’re not much of a legend now, Hux.’, Rey said calmly. ‘You’re just the First Order general who let himself get caught by the Resistance. That’s kind of humiliating, isn’t it?’

Another spike in the Force, this time more angry than annoyed. Good.

She raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. ‘You could still turn that around. Make your name go down in history for something … more impressive than that.’

‘You’re trying to get me angry.’, Hux said in a lowered voice.

Her smile widened. ‘Is it working?’

‘Why?’

Rey wiped the smile off her face, adopting a serious stance. ‘What do you know of Operation Raze?’

Slowly but surely, Hux smiled. It evolved into a laugh, cruel and harsh.

Rey repeated the question, harsher this time. It made him stop laughing, but there was still an evil grin on his lips.

‘And this is it.’, he said with awe. ‘This is the moment when the Resistance falls, once and for all.’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure about that.’, Finn said gruffly.

Hux’s head snapped to him instantly, anger flaring. ‘You do not have the right to address me, you filthy piece of sh-’

Rey slapped him, effectively shutting him up. His eyes turned to her, along with his anger.

‘We’ve all made mistakes here.’, he said slowly. ‘I’ll acknowledge that. But you, stupid girl, you need to acknowledge your mistake: opening your trust, your heart and your legs to a _pathetic_ excuse of a man.’

She said nothing, knowing there was no point in arguing. But Finn moved, and he moved quickly, grabbing a hold of Hux, lifting him off the bed and slamming his back against the mirrored wall, holding him there.

 _Harder!_ , BB-9 suggested happily.

Finn said nothing, glaring angrily, and Hux didn’t move to defend himself.

 ** _Rey, that’s enough_** , Ben said into her mind. **_I got it_**.

‘Finn, let him go.’, she said gently, going as far as putting a hand on his back. ‘We got all we need.’

As soon as Hux’s feet hit the ground, he turned to frown at Rey. ‘I didn’t give you anything.’

She smiled that, not fake at all. ‘We can get everything we want.’

It took a few seconds, but Hux did understand what that meant, because he grew pale and in the Force, Rey could feel he was scared. He gasped, face twisting in pain. She looked with pity at him, as Ben was clearly hurting him.

 ** _He’s not worth it_** _,_ she told Ben.

With another gasp, Hux’s face cleared. ‘You’re not going to make it.’

Rey didn’t answer. Instead, she used the Force to guide the tablet he was reading to her hand. She extended it to him, and he took it with shaky fingers.

‘Sleep well, Hux. Everything you ever believed in is soon to be destroyed.’

She turned around and didn’t look back once, not even when BB-9 started zapping at Hux’s legs.

Outside, Ben looked frightened. ‘It’s bad.’, was all he said, before he ran back to the command room.

/∆\

‘Operation Raze starts with the First Order abandoning all bases except for the largest one. All the resources are transported there and organized. Hux’s plan was to target a few planets at a time, slaughter every life form on them.’

‘They don’t have the fire power for that anymore.’, Finn argued. ‘A few cities, sure, but a couple of planets?’

‘You’re right.’, Ben sighed. ‘They’ll probably target a single planet to begin with.’

‘Do you know which one?’, Poe asked with desperation seeping through.

‘I can’t be sure. I know Naboo is on the top of Hux’s list-’

‘Why?’, Poe interrupted.

‘Because Queen Dor has pull in the galaxy. And because I care for her.’

There was rage shimmering underneath Ben’s seemingly calm delivery.

‘But we can’t be sure.’, Poe said.

Ben shook his head. ‘The intel said the First Order was just starting to pull away their forces from the two smaller bases?’

Poe nodded. ‘So we go now.’

‘You stay the hell here.’, Ben told him gravely. ‘I’m going to take a small team to the closest base, see if they really are abandoning it. Ideally, we’d capture another general, or access their computers, find out exactly what planet they’re targeting, and when.’

It was only after he stopped talking, did Ben realize how he had been ordering Poe around. He seemed embarrassed.

Poe didn’t really care, considering he kept nodding along. ‘It’s a plan. Does anybody-’

‘I volunteer!’, Mally yelled, quickly followed by Vega, Raf and Jed, the former Stormtrooper from Finn’s squad.

Poe just kept nodding along, eyes roaming all over the other commanders.

‘What are you waiting for?’, Delany yelled. ‘Give the order!’

Poe gave the order and everyone started scrambling. Rey hurried to Ben’s side, and he was quick to grab her hand.

‘You’re staying here.’

‘What? No, I’m-’

‘I need you to stay here. This is a half-assed mission and if something goes wrong, I can give you information.’

It was the right choice, Rey knew, but it made her feel sick to her stomach. Was this how he felt, every time she went on a mission and left him behind? It was torture.

‘Damn you.’, her voice trembled.

Ben smiled at that, with half his mouth and a mischievous spark in his eyes. He looked so much like Han, that it hurt Rey twice as much and it made her love him impossibly more.

‘Go.’, she reluctantly said. ‘And come back.’

He nodded easily, but Rey took a small step forward until she was all but pressing against him.

 ** _Come back to me_** , she said in his mind.

Ben faltered at that, his eyes growing wide and smirk falling from his lips. But he nodded again, slowly, squeezing her fingers tightly. He left without another word, BB-9 following him with a loud _Wait for me!_ , and Rey took a moment to breathe deeply and center herself.

Looking up, she saw that both Finn and Poe were shamelessly staring at her. Finn looked uncomfortable, but there was understanding in his eyes, whereas Poe was smiling at her, with a little regret in his eyes.

She took another deep breath, and asked where she was needed.

/∆\

It didn’t take long for the team to get to the closest base. It was already deserted, and as Vega said it over the comlink, they all heard Ben swearing in the background.

 _Let me at the computers!_ , BB-9 wailed.

‘Yes, come on.’, Ben growled.

Things were silent for a beat too long.

‘I mean, do we go with him, or…?’, Vega questioned.

‘Someone stay on the ship.’, Poe ordered. ‘The rest of you, grab your blasters and have Solo’s back. Just in case.’

Poe shut off the microphone, turning to look at Rey. ‘Isn’t he supposed to be better at this leader thing?’

‘He hasn’t done it in months, give him a break.’

‘Plus, Hux kind of got into his head.’, Finn said. ‘I mean, not literally, but he said some things that pissed him off.’

‘Massively.’, Rose said with a pointed look to Rey.

She said nothing, even after Poe raised an eyebrow at her.

 _You worry about him too much_ , BB-8 beeped. _He has a lightsaber, BB-9 doesn’t!_

That got everyone smiling, albeit briefly.

‘Don’t worry, BB-8.’, Poe finally said. ‘They’ve got each other backs.’

_Yes, because Sunshine’s not there._

Rey’s ears flamed, as she glared at the droid.

 _I’m not lying_ , BB-8 insisted.

‘He’s really not.’, Poe snickered.

Rey didn’t want to get into an argument she knew she’ll lose, but she couldn’t leave it like that, either. So with a swift wrist movement, BB-8 was lifted off the ground and careened into Poe’s backside. As the droid squealed in indignation, Poe had to grab a hold of the table to keep himself up.

‘I’m surrounded by children.’, Delany sighed deeply.

‘We are a delight!’, came Poe’s shameless response, as he was rubbing at his butt. There was going to be a bruise, Rey was sure of it.

‘We’re back on the ship.’, Ben’s voice broke through. ‘We have 47 hours until all the First Order’s remaining troops descend on Naboo.’

‘Shit.’, Poe said strongly.

‘Say that again, and then call Queen Dor. She needs to know and honestly, whatever plan we manage to come up with, we’re going to need to coordinate with her.’

‘On it. Get your ass back here.’

The comlink was shut off, but Ben spoke in Rey’s mind.

**_Could you wait up for me?_ **

**_Of course. What’s wrong?_ **

There was no answer for a few seconds **. _I’m not hurt. Wait for me in your room and have BB-8 meet us in the hangar_.**

Ben closed the connection without saying anything more. Rey sighed, but went to find BB-8.

/∆\

BB-8 was frantic when it came to Rey’s room.

 _BB-9 is hurt!_ , it kept saying over and over again.

Sure enough, when Ben turned up, he was carrying a silent BB-9, its dome detached from the body. The droid was not light, Rey knew, but it didn’t stop him from carrying it in his arms.

Rey wasted no time, sitting down on the floor and using the Force to gather all the tools she had around the room. She made space for Ben to place the droid between her legs, wrapping them around BB-9 so that it wouldn’t roll away.

‘What happened?’

‘There was a straggler, caught us off guard.’, Ben sat on the floor as well. ‘He shot his blaster before I got to him. BB-9 fell two stories, onto grass.’

 _Fix BB-9!_ , BB-8 wailed, trembling by Rey’s side. _Fix BB-9, Sunshine, please!_

‘Calm down.’, Rey told the droid, hands already moving to BB-9’s dome. ‘I will fix BB-9, I promise, but I might need your help.’

 _Okay_ , it beeped mournfully.

They were all silent for the next minutes, the only sounds in the room coming from Rey’s tools against BB-9’s metal. Upon closer inspection, it wasn’t as bad as she feared.

‘The blaster shot fried some of its shortcuts, but there’s no other damage from the fall. We should have spare ones in the maintenance bay.’

BB-8 was moving before she finished the sentence.

_Darth Boy! I need hands to carry things!_

Ben didn’t hesitate to run after the droid. They came back soon enough, Ben’s hands filled with a lot more spare parts than Rey needed. She didn’t comment on it, and she said nothing when he sat down very close to her, so much so that their knees were pushed together and her elbows occasionally met his torso.

With the help of BB-8 and its scanners, Rey worked as quickly as she could.

Poe stopped by, crouching in front of them, putting a comforting hand on BB-8.

‘What’s the diagnostic, doc?’

‘It’s not as bad as I initially thought.’, Rey smiled at him. ‘I’ll fix BB-9 up in no time.’

‘What’s happening in the command room?’, Ben asked with clear anxiousness.

‘That’s what I came to tell you.’, Poe sighed. ‘We have 6 more hours to the 40 hour mark. Rest until then, and meet back up with our brains at full capacity.’

He was clearly expecting Ben to argue against it, but surprisingly so, he didn’t.

‘I’ll see you then.’

‘Alright.’, Poe turned to his droid. ‘You gonna stay here till BB-9’s up and running?’

 _Please_ , BB-8 pushed its dome to Poe’s arm, a move clearly stolen from Ben’s droid.

Poe seemed to like it, quite a lot, considering his eyes got wrinkly around the corners and he smiled very softly. He also gave BB-8 a few belly rubs.

‘Okay, buddy, you do that. I’m gonna go sleep and I highly suggest you do the same.’, he went as far as pointing a finger to Rey and Ben.

‘We will.’, they answered together, making Poe roll his eyes on his way out.

‘Can I help?’, Ben asked gently.

‘You’d just be delaying me, honestly. I’ve got this, I promise.’

‘I know that.’, Ben put a hand on her knee. ‘I just don’t like feeling useless.’

 _You’re not useless_ , BB-8 was quick to counter. _You punched the evil bastard who hurt BB-9 and you went and picked up all the pieces._

‘You punched him?’, Rey frowned.

‘I was angry.’, Ben lowered his head. ‘I didn’t need to kill him, but I wanted to. A punch was… calming.’

 _Broke his nose_ , BB-8 beeped happily.

‘Finn’s interrogating him.’, Ben went on. ‘I don’t think he knows much, he’s just a foot soldier, but maybe Finn can get something out of him.’

Rey nodded at that, and went back to BB-9. It took the better part of an hour, but she did manage to fix him. Still between her legs, the droid woke up with a series of random beeps, all its lights turning on and off a few times.

‘BB-9? You there?’, Rey asked.

 _Sunshine, I fell_.

‘Yes, you did. How are you feeling?’

To that, BB-9 rolled away and moved around quickly, its dome whirling rapidly.

 _Feels normal_.

‘Run a full diagnostic.’, Ben said strongly.

BB-9 came to his side, and he didn’t hesitate to spread his legs for the droid to settle between them. It grew quiet then, a single red light flashing on its dome. BB-8 took a similar position between Rey’s legs.

It took a few minutes, but BB-9 came back online with a joyful _All fixed now, Master Ben!_

Ben breathed a huge sigh of relief, and he all but collapsed on top of his droid, giving it a proper hug, his arms shaking slightly.

‘You scared the shit out of me, you stupid ball.’

_I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to._

‘I know, BB-9. I know. Just be more careful next time.’

_Thank you for saving me._

‘Well’, Ben straightened up, still keeping his arms around BB-9, ‘Sunshine and BB-8 helped with that.’

Hearing her nickname come out of his mouth made Rey giggle. There was a violent warmth in her chest, that had been growing steadily since the moment Ben stepped into her room, so concerned about his droid. It was a warmth that was threatening to make her chest explode.

 _Thank you_ , BB-9 turned its dome towards Rey and BB-8, turning the last beep into a wordless song.

 _You’re not allowed to do that again_ , BB-8 said sternly. _You’re my friend now and we promised to outlive those other two dweebs._

‘3PO and R2?’, Ben asked, a smile on his face.

 _Stubborn dweebs_ , BB-8 and BB-9 said at the same time.

Ben hugged its droid again, and Rey was quick to do the same with BB-8. They locked eyes and she was glad she was on the floor, because her knees grew weak.

She loved this boy so much. This boy, who came so close to being completely destroyed, this boy she helped save from a fate worse than death. This beautiful, magical man, with his tortured soul and surprisingly big heart, looking at her with sparks in his eyes and a gentle smile on his face, as he was hugging the cutest droid ever made, in the middle of a war with their lives hanging on by bad odds and small miracles.

Rey tried to look into his mind. Not too deep, just at the surface, but it didn’t matter, because Ben’s walls were up.

He frowned in confusion, not anger. ‘What is it?’

She shook her head, taking a deep breath and let go of BB-8. Ben did the same, and the two droids circled happily around each other, as the humans got up.

‘Come on, BBs’, he said gently. ‘We should all get some rest.’

 _Master Ben_ , BB-9 beeped loudly, _give Sunshine a kiss for saving my life!_

Ben stared at the droid for a beat too long, his cheeks turning slightly red.

Rey didn’t want him to go, desperately so. She grabbed his hand, and he stopped walking, looking at her with confusion, that he tried to hide under his sarcasm.

‘Are you really going to make me kiss you for a job well done?’

‘Let down your wall.’, she breathed out.

Ben was surprised by this, at first. He didn’t listen to her command, but gently, he prodded at her mind. Just at the surface, but it was enough.

Rey knew what he saw. He saw the love she had for him, burning as bright as a sun exploding, the warmth that spread inside of her, a warmth caused by his smile. He saw what Rey wanted, what she needed, his arms around her, the caress of skin on skin, nothing else existing in the galaxy but the two of them. Together.

He didn’t let her into his mind, not yet. Instead, with a shaky breath, he told the droids to leave.

 _But you said you need rest_ , BB-9 said in confusion, plastering itself to Ben’s legs.

He did not look away from Rey’s eyes, and she didn’t either. She couldn’t. She felt more than she saw, Ben pushing BB-9 away with his foot, kind of violently.

‘Please go.’, he whispered, as the droid whirled around, beeping indignantly.

 _Come on_ , BB-8 was already half out the door. _Sunshine and Darth Boy need to be alone now._

BB-9 beeped a very alarmed _No_ _no no I don’t want to see_ and ran out of the room. Rey would have probably laughed at that, if what BB-8 had said wasn’t so painfully true.

After the droids went away, Ben extended his free hand and shut the door, a bit harder than he should have. With a flick of her free wrist, Rey locked the door, using the key for the first time since she claimed the room as her own.

Ben took a shaky breath, closing his eyes. She felt his mental wall disappear, and Rey didn’t hesitate to explore. What she saw didn’t come as a surprise. She saw flashes of herself, moments in which she had smiled at Ben, in the mess hall, in the forest as they were training. She saw herself flying the Millennium Falcon, patting BB-9 as it beeped quickly at her, she saw herself in the snow and in the red throne room, snarling fiercely even if she was afraid. She looked breathtakingly beautiful in every vision, and through them all, she felt the love Ben felt for her, the wants and the needs they shared.

Rey gently touched his cheek, pushing his wild hair away. He kept his eyes closed, but he did lean into her hand.

‘I can’t help it, anymore.’, Rey whispered. ‘I can’t control it, I can’t stop it.’

He was shaking, slightly, and when Rey pulled herself closer to him, pushing their chests together, Ben brought his free hand around her waist and he leaned down, gently leaning his forehead against hers.

But he didn’t say anything. He was afraid, Rey felt it clear in the Force, but he wasn’t afraid of her. Ben was afraid _for_ her, _for them_ , for a future in which they won’t be able to be together. Rey understood it perfectly, but because of it, she couldn’t keep herself away anymore.

Like Poe told Ben, they have wasted so much of their time together. She couldn’t waste a second more. So Rey moved her fingers, from his cheek into his hair. She pushed his head so that she could reach his lips.

He didn’t let her. Ben straightened up, his lips too far away for her to reach. He opened his eyes, and there was need in them, burning and strong, but there was also fright.

Ben whispered her name, a simple word that cost him greatly, a short word that made his voice break. They were still holding hands, and he squeezed Rey’s fingers strongly.

‘I can’t do this, not now.’, he said in a whisper. ‘I know what you want, what we both want. I’ve dreamt it, we both have, on Coruscant and last night, but-’

Sex was the last thing on her mind right now. ‘I just need you to hold me, Ben. Please.’

Ben crumbled at that, beneath her fingers and under her gaze, and so did his resistance. He moved quickly, letting go of her hand and wrapping both of his arms around her, lifting Rey straight off the floor and holding her up against him. They were at eye level now, and it was easy, for her to wrap her arms around his shoulders and push their cheeks together.

The Force surged around them, chaotic and hot, so hot it burned everything. Ben whimpered against her, pushing his face into the crook of her neck. Grabbing onto his hair, Rey breathed, for what felt like the first time.

There was happiness, around them, between them, in them, in the Force. Excitement and light, burning bright and strong. Rey felt her heart beating wildly in her chest, but she felt Ben’s heart as well, pulsing next to hers, in sync and together.

 **_It’s not possible, all the things you do to me_ ** **.**

Ben said it in her mind, and it wasn’t the first time he had said it. But unlike last time, Rey didn’t run away. Instead, she ran towards him, metaphorically speaking.

In reality, Rey pulled at his hair, pulled his face away from the crook of her neck. Ben looked at her with wide eyes, unblinking, but there wasn’t a trace of fear in them anymore. Instead, there was only want, pure and unaltered, burning hot, as hot as the desperation she felt.

They moved together. When their lips met, an innocent press of flesh, the Force quieted down instantly. There was calm surrounding them, peaceful and pleasant. Rey breathed out, unaware of when she had held her breath, and it came out shaky. Ben smiled against her lips, just a little, but enough to give her incentive.

When Rey dragged her hands, gently, from his hair to his cheeks and jaw line, Ben took a very deep breath through his nose, unwilling to stop the kiss. And when she started moving her lips against his, Ben faltered, or, better said, his knees did. He held them steady, of course, and kissed her back, hesitantly and clearly inexperienced.

She needed more, so she stopped the kiss long enough to ask Ben to put her down. He did so, and he was quick to accommodate her, bend down and keep kissing her. Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, but pushed her fingers under his shirt. He shivered when her fingers touched skin, but Ben also drew some courage from it.

One of his hands came up to her neck, gently caressing her jaw. His other hand worked quickly to take her hair down from her buns and then his fingers got lost in it. Ben also was bolder with the kiss, hesitantly letting his tongue move over her lips, his movements growing determined when Rey opened her mouth for him.

She liked kissing him, incredibly so, even if it was clear that he was learning how to do it. Rey didn’t think she had ever felt this happy in her life.

Ben pulled away and chuckled, clearly having heard her thought. Rey didn’t mind, especially not when he sweetly kissed her cheek, trailing soft kisses down her jaw and to her neck. She scratched his back in retaliation, and it made Ben falter, stop his kisses and let his lips rest against the hollow of her neck, breathing in and out quickly.

Bravely, Rey grabbed a hold of his shirt, fully intending to take it off. But he said her name out loud, and he whispered **_Stop_** in her head, so she did. He did not say anything more, so Rey gently prodded at his thoughts, finding personal insecurities and a very strong hesitance regarding his inexperience.

Rey’s first instinct was to laugh at the absurdity of it, because when it came to the physical aspect of this, he was nothing less than perfect for her. But she also understood him, because she had been there herself, at one point on Jakku she could barely remember.

So Rey pushed Ben away, just a little, just so she could quickly take off her shirt. Needless to say, his eyes grew incredibly wide at that and he swallowed thickly. Using the Force, she turned off the lights in the room.

‘Is that better?’, she asked, unable to keep the teasing tone away from her voice.

Ben determinedly took off his own shirt, throwing it recklessly against the desk. He was very quick to gather her in his arms again, and this time, there was nothing hesitant about the way they kissed. There were no lingering touches, no soft caresses. There were lips moving quickly and tongues burning hot, fingers roaming over any and every stretch of skin they could.

Without stopping her exploring, Rey started to push Ben back, and he let himself be led, until the back of his knees hit the bed. He made a questioning sound, and Rey pointedly pushed at his chest.

He went down, surprised. But that quickly disappeared when Rey climbed onto his lap and started kissing him again.

Ben was a quick learner, doing things with his tongue that made Rey’s breathing falter, touching places on her body that made her tremble. He was also quick to get over his hesitance, huffing out his chest when Rey’s hand was on it, turning his head when she wanted to kiss his neck, straining the muscles on his arm when she trailed her fingers over them. And, the most adorable thing she noticed, every time Rey sunk her teeth into his bottom lip, Ben let out a sort of a whispered gasp.

With every passing kiss and with every one of Rey’s touches, Ben grew bolder. His hands roamed from her hair to her breasts, to her waist and her ass. He bit on her neck and sucked on her tongue and Rey was on fire. Delightful, warm fire.

She got carried away. She licked his scar, the one she had put there, the one she wished fate wouldn’t have needed, and it made Ben moan in a new, delicious way. Because of it, her hips moved for the first time, brushing harshly against his hardness.

He moaned again, shocked, but he also froze, and Rey with him. They were both breathing heavily, his hands on her ass, hers on his shoulders.

‘I wasn’t lying when I said I couldn’t do this now.’, Ben whispered. The room was dark and she couldn’t see him very well, but his eyes were terribly bright.

‘I know.’, Rey breathed out, and she did know, she did understand. They were literally counting down to what was surely the final battle of the war. As much as she wanted it to happen, as much as she was desperate to feel Ben in his entirety, this was not how it was supposed to happen.

So with a final chaste kiss to his lips, Rey moved off his lap. Sitting on the bed, she took off her pants and lied down, pushing her back to the wall. With a deep breath, Ben copied her, taking off his pants and helping her get under the cover before he joined her.

Ben was awkward about it, but Rey plastered her entire body to his. He accommodated her, letting her rest her head on his chest and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, but it took awhile for him to relax.

‘I haven’t done this before.’, he whispered.

She had gathered as much and she couldn’t have cared less. But she chose to tease him, hoping it will calm him down.

‘This?’, Rey said in an unshameful manner.

There was a pause from Ben. ‘ _That_ , too. But I meant this, just… sleeping with another person. Holding her.’

Rey smiled. ‘If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t done this either.’

He cleared his throat. ‘Poe.’

She slapped his chest. ‘Not the same, and you know it.’

‘I know, I know.’, he relaxed his body, getting more comfortable.

‘I’ve done _that_ before.’, Rey admitted. ‘Twice, but… those boys did not matter. At all.’

Ben took a deep breath. ‘Thank you for telling me.’

She couldn’t help but smirk. ‘You would have obsessed over it otherwise and’, she took a deep breath, ‘come morning, the Resistance needs you focused.’

He held her tighter at that, kissing her forehead and not saying anything. He didn’t need to, she knew they were both scared of what came next. So Rey kissed Ben’s lips, short and sweet and wished him a good night.

‘Good?’, he whispered. ‘It’s the best of my life, Rey.’

She didn’t answer, because if she would have, she wouldn’t have stopped. Rey smiled, though, and that was how she fell asleep. With a small smile on her face, in the arms of the beautiful man she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that secret was pretty underwhelming, huh? Pft, Ben was a dumbdumb. Rey's secret comes straight from the novelisation. 
> 
> ALSO you need to see this fanart. It's the cutest thing and I based that one scene with it in my head.  
> [art by @psychocookie](http://psychocookie.tumblr.com/post/170594188121/bb-units-are-the-cutest-wouldnt-you-agree-one)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final battle in the war between the Resistance and the First Order does not go as either of the sides had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if there's one thing that surprised me the most about this fic, it's the original characters.

 

 

Rey woke up to the sound of someone knocking on wood. Disoriented, it took her a moment to realize she was still in Ben’s arms. They locked eyes just as Poe’s voice came through the door.

‘Why the hell is her door locked? Her door is never locked!’

 _Sunshine had fun last night_ , BB-8 answered happily.

‘Fun?’, Poe was clearly confused. ‘What sort of - wait. If I were to go and get Ben from his room…’

 _He’s not there_ , the droid said promptly.

As Poe did not say anything for a long while, Rey took stock of herself. She was half plastered over Ben’s body, one hand very low on his hip, dangerously low, and her bent knee was also very close to dangerous territory. One of his hands was on her ass, pushed under her panties and the other one was tangled in her hair.

She was incredibly glad she thought of locking the door last night.

Poe banged on the door, again. ‘You two better be in the command room in 30 minutes, or so help me, there will be yelling.’

 _You’re yelling now_ , BB-8 pointed out.

‘We’ll be there!’, Ben raised his voice, making sure Poe will hear.

‘For fuck’s sake, he’s really in there. You could have told me earlier, BB-8, I wouldn’t have-’, Poe’s voice was lost as he walked away.

Ben took a deep breath. ‘Good morning.’

She burst out laughing, utterly embarrassed but too happy to care about it. Ben shut her up by kissing her. It didn’t last long, they both needed to wash up and eat something before making their way to the command room, but it was enough for Rey. Enough to gather strength from it, enough strength to face the day.

/∆\

There were guards outside of the command room, keeping unwanted personnel out. Rey and Ben had no trouble passing through, and they were greeted by BB-9, who beeped a very happy _Good morning!_

Once again, even if the droid had no eyes, face, or expression, Rey could still feel the judgment. Ben must have felt it too, because he sent BB-9 a glare and told it a cold _Stop_.

 _We have guests!_ , it said next, and Rey’s eyes fell on the people who were crowded around Poe.

There were two women she didn’t recognize sitting by Poe’s side and they looked very out of place.

Both of them were wearing similar clothes, dark blue pants and a jacket in a lighter shade of blue, paired with high leather boots. Their jackets had gold shapes on them, sewed around the shoulders, but they were different, one of the women had more of them. Their hair was braided up in very complicated ways and they were both wearing makeup. While the one with less gold on her shoulders had her eyes simply lined with a light blue that matched her jacket, the other woman was wearing a dark shade of blue around her eyes, and bright gold on her lips.

They both looked gorgeous, but Rey realized that there was quite an age difference between the two of them. The woman with more gold was a lot older than the other one.

They were both staring at Ben.

‘You grew up nicely.’, the older woman said, smirking slightly.

‘Oh boy.’, Poe muttered under his breath, before introducing the two women. ‘Guys, this is General Moran’, he indicated the older woman, ‘Queen Dor’s Head of Defense, and Officer Arlos, her second in command.’

‘My apologies, General Moran.’, Ben recovered quickly. ‘I don’t remember meeting you.’

The woman raised an eyebrow. ‘To be fair, you were a child, and preoccupied with hiding under Dor’s skirts.’

Rey bit on her lip to keep herself from laughing, especially when Ben’s cheeks turned red.

‘In my defense’, he said slowly, ‘those layered gowns are easy to get lost in.’

‘There are so many uncouth responses I have to that’, Moran grinned, ‘it’s impossible to chose.’

‘I like you, ma’am’, Poe said pointedly, ‘especially if you have more embarrassing baby Ben stories, but I don’t know what you’re doing here.’

Moran’s expression turned serious. ‘I’m here to help, of course.’

‘That’s great, thank you!’, Poe said over enthusiastically. ‘Help how?’

Arlos grabbed a memory drive from her jacket, putting it in the holotable. A simple document opened up, a pretty large table. Scanning it quickly, Rey saw that it was a list of planets, starting with Naboo and continuing with names unknown to her, and next to every one of the entries there were numbers, indicating various types of flying ships, mostly X and A-wings, a handful of larger ships.

‘What is this?’, Poe was still reading.

‘Help, Dameron.’ Moran said gently. ‘This is help.’

‘These are all peaceful planets.’, Ben pointed out. ‘They’re not involved with the war.’

‘You’re not wrong. But as Queen Dor once told you, peaceful doesn’t mean naive. Or defenseless. So in the past months, while the Resistance was busy taking down First Order bases, Queen Dor looked to the future. She knew that when the end of the war came’, she smiled at Poe, ‘you wouldn’t be able to do it on your own.’

‘So these are-’

‘Allies.’, Moran smiled. ‘A small army, but big enough to pose a threat to what is left of the First Order. An army formed of friends of Queen Dor’s, who realized that this really is the end of the war, and that they have kept silent for too long.’

Poe’s eyes were a little shiny and he looked incredibly soft in that moment, but it was not a sad thing. No, it was excitement and gratefulness both. And hope.

In complete contrast, there was no softness around Ben. His eyes held hatred, determination and power. The very slight smile on his lips was ruthless.

 _Finally!_ , BB-8 beeped loudly. _A proper fight!_

‘We’ve talked about this, buddy.’, Poe said gently. ‘You’ve got to tone down the blood lust.’

As a response, BB-8 kept its dome steady as it whirled its body. _Not today, buddy! Not today!_

BB-9 was quick to copy the other droid, both of them fooling around and beeping excitedly.

‘General Dameron’, Arlos smirked, ‘you should be as excited as your droids are. Don’t start dancing around’, she teased, ‘but you’d better call in your strategists. There’s a lot of planning to do, and not much time.’

With a deep breath and an incredibly flirty _Call me Poe_ , he got to work, they all did.

/∆\

The next 24 hours were a blur to Rey. She went wherever she was needed, doing whatever she was told to. She did maintenance checks on the ships, fixing whatever came up, she checked droids and did munitions inventory with Rose and Finn. She napped around the hanger, falling asleep for half an hour under tables or X-Wings.

Everybody was so busy, the base was a whirlwind of activity. And it was just them, no other allies turned up, not yet.

She was exhausted, but the Force kept her going. What she felt in the Force, it was incredible. Similar to what she had felt when they first moved into this base, but enhanced by a thousand. Excitement and hope, such a powerful combination that will prove deadly to the First Order.

It lit up Rey’s insides, every time she saw someone grin her way, every time she noticed a person walking with a bounce in their steps, every time she heard someone scream excitedly. It was a chaotic mess, but it was empowering, just to be a part of it.

She didn’t go back to the command room, there was no need to, but she knew that she will have a large part to play in the upcoming battle. It was an egotistical thought to have, but she knew how Poe thought. Because of her powers and her connection to Ben, she will be a key player in whatever the plan will be.

It felt right, to Rey. For her, this had been a journey of self discovery, and while it was still not completed, it felt incredibly right, going against the First Order, fighting alongside the Resistance. Lead by Poe, with Finn and Rose by her side, and with Ben.

This was her place, this was where she was supposed to be. And in the moment she realized it, with her hands deep in Poe’s yet unnamed X-Wing, Rey vowed something to herself. Whatever will happen, whatever she will be asked to do, she will do anything and everything to make sure the destruction of the First Order was accomplished.

Poe’s voice came over the base intercom, startling her.

‘My dear Resistance’, he started sweetly, ‘we have roughly 16 hours till the First Order is set to start what will be their last attack. We have allies, we have resources, we have a plan. As you probably predicted, it’s insane and dangerous, but it is also smart and it will work. And beyond that’, he took a deep breath, ‘we have hope. Still, we need to be smart. So, this is an order: go to sleep. You’ll wake up in 8 hours and meet me in the command room, where you’ll all be assigned your missions. And then we’ll hit the First Order, right before they finish preparations for their attack. We’ll hit them hard, and we’ll hit them good. But for now, go to sleep.’

He cut off with that.

Dalo was close by, and he locked eyes with Rey. ‘Did our commander just send us to our rooms?’

‘Sounds like it.’, she snorted.

She also got up and cleaned up, intent of going to bed.

‘You going to sleep?’, Dalo asked her.

After her nod, he grinned at her. ‘Want me to join you?’

Rey froze completely, looking with wide eyes at him.

Dalo started laughing. ‘Oh, your face.’

He kept on laughing, and Rey kept staring at him, utterly afraid of how she’ll have to turn him down.

‘Calm down.’, he finally said. ‘I know you’re spoken for, I was just entertaining myself with what was sure to be a brilliant Rey reaction face.’

She frowned at that.

‘And I was right.’, Dalo snorted. He also hugged her tightly.

‘I missed you.’, he spoke against her hair. ‘Ever since Darth Boy showed up, we didn’t get to hang out that much. And I get it, I do, but I still missed your face.’

Rey relaxed and hugged him back. ‘I’m sorry.’ Her cheeks were probably on fire, and she did feel ashamed.

‘Don’t be. You were busy falling in love, how could I get in the middle of that?’

She didn’t answer, but Dalo didn’t need one anyway. With one last smile and a cheeky wink, he left.

Rey took a deep breath. She _will_ do everything to stop the First Order, but not because it was what she was supposed to do. No, she will stop the evil that threatened the galaxy for Dalo. For Poe, Finn, Rose, the people she loved. For Vega, Mally, Raf, Bodhi, Jed, and all the other Strormtroopers that chose something better. For Delaney, Queen Dor, Moran and Arlos, for the people who fought for what was right. For Bari and all the other children that held the future of the galaxy in their hands.

She will do it for them. For everyone.

 _And for Ben_ , a voice that sounded like Leia said in the back of her mind. Not just for Ben, Rey thought, but for their future together.

/∆\

There was a knock on her door just as Rey got out of the fresher. She knew it was Ben long before she opened the door.

He was wearing loose pants and a white shirt with holes in it, alongside of a pretty embarrassed expression.

BB-9 startled Rey by gently knocking into her shins. _Can we sleep with you tonight?_

Ben was smiling in a self deprecating manner, which only made him just that much more adorable. So she told BB-9 a bright _Of course_ and grabbed Ben’s hand, pulling him inside.

‘I’m sorry’, he wasn’t really looking at her, ‘it’s just that my mind is running wildly and I’m tired and-’

She swiftly kissed his ramble away. ‘Do you want to mediate, a little?’

He nodded, sighing deeply.

They faced each other on the bed and, unlike before, they held hands through their meditation. It didn’t last more than half an hour, but it did wonders for the both of them, filling them with calmness and warmth.

Ben lied down with his back against the wall, and he gathered Rey into his arms, until her back was flush against his chest. After he got Rey’s hair out of his face, he sweetly kissed her shoulder.

‘BB-9, wake us up in 7 hours.’

_Yes, Master Ben. Goodnight! Goodnight, Sunshine!_

‘Night, BB-9.’, she smiled. ‘Goodnight, Ben.’

He was already asleep and she was quick to follow.

/∆\

BB-9 woke them up with a very excited _Time to kick the First Order’s ass!_. Ben groaned, very loudly, pulling Rey closer to him without even opening his eyes.

‘You’re not a morning person, are you?’, Rey whispered around a smile.

 _He’s really not_ , BB-9 piped up.

‘Especially when waking up means I have to let go of you.’, Ben mumbled, pushing his head to her body, not caring that it was her ribs he was poking with his nose.

Still, he was being sweet, so Rey combed her fingers through his hair for a few moments.

‘Come on, Ben. There’s First Order ass to be kicked.’

He huffed, highly aggravated, but he did open his eyes, blinking harshly against the light a few times. With a groan, he got up into a seated position, rubbing at his eyes.

It was a sight to see, for Rey. Ben was pouting, his hair was a mess, there were pillow marks on his cheek and his shirt was askew. She could get used to waking up to this.

Groaning again, Ben got out of bed. To do so, he had to climb over her, and he did it carefully, keeping his weight in his hands and legs and doing his best not to touch her. Except for when he kissed her, innocently and quick.

‘Meet you for breakfast?’

Rey nodded, forcing herself to, on one hand, sit up in bed, and on the other, not grab Ben and stop him from leaving.

He did move to leave, BB-9 following obediently. But when Ben opened the door, he almost barreled into Finn, who had his hand up, ready to knock.

She couldn’t see Ben’s face from where she sat, but she saw Finn’s, and it was a good one. Torn between disgust and incredulity, staring with wide, unblinking eyes at Ben.

‘We don’t have time for this now.’, Ben finally said.

It took a couple of moments, but Finn did lower his hand and took a step to the side. His expression did not change, not even when Ben sidestepped him and walked away, not even when BB-9 stopped for a moment to push its dome to Finn’s legs and tell him a sweet _Good morning, friend!_

Finally, Finn turned to stare at Rey, same expression on his face.

‘Did you want something?’, she was trying her hardest not to laugh.

Finn tried to form words. It was mostly unsuccessful. Rey got up and walked to his side, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

‘Did something happen?’

‘No.’, he finally spoke. ‘I just came to check if you were awake.’

‘As you can see’, she smiled and took her hand away, ‘I am.’

Finn kept staring, opening and closing his mouth without any words actually getting out. It was terribly amusing, and only mildly inconvenient.

‘I just wanted to say…’, he started. Didn’t go on for a while.

Finally, he sighed, shaking his head. ‘Rose is so much smarter than I am.’

Of course, this confused Rey.

‘She knew you two would get together before the end of the war. I really thought it was going to happen after.’

‘As much as I love the two of you, I’m not comfortable with you meddling into mine and Ben’s…’ The word she wanted to say was ‘relationship’, but it didn’t quite make it past her lips.

Finn raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, he snorted. ‘Rey, there’s a bet going on, the whole base is in on it. Dalo has a ledger.’

Rey wanted to be angry, to scream and kick, but she had better things to do.

‘I need to get dressed, Finn.’

He sighed again, shaking his head in disbelief. But he also sweetly kissed her forehead and promised to get her an extra fruit tart at breakfast.

/∆\

Ben picked her up to go to the mess hall together, and when she first saw him, she stared. He was wearing all black, tight pants tucked into sturdy boots, a shirt and a vest, his gloves. He looked very much like Kylo Ren should, with rage simmering in his eyes and the crossguard at his hip, but there was a hint of Han Solo in there, as well. As it should be. And there was a Resistance insignia sewn onto his right sleeve.

‘BB-9 did it.’, he explained. ‘Without telling me.’

‘That droid is amazing.’, she breathed out.

In return, Ben looked her up and down too. She had put on a pair of tight black pants and a dark blue top, that was also very tight on her and had the sleeves cut off. The very top of her pendant was peeking out, and Ben gently ran a finger over it.

He then grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. He smirked, that playful and mischievous spark that made Rey’s stomach flutter.

‘Let’s go kick some First Order ass.’

Rey grinned, feeling ready.

/∆\

The plan was not a surprising one.

A handful of hours before the First Order was set to start its attack on Naboo, the Resistance and its allies would surprise them. Ascend on their base with an air assault, at first, taking out the ships that will most likely come out to defend their base. Hopefully, with the help of all the new ships their allies brought, they will be able to fully destroy the First Orders’ starship resources.

After that, there will be an all hands on deck situation, the fleet making planetfall and going hand to hand with the remaining Strormtroopers. Intel showed that the Resistance was going to be outnumbered, but not by much.

It was pretty straightforward, really. It was not the time for subterfuge and sneaky infiltrations, not anymore. As Poe put it, it was time for the First Order to end, not with a spark, but with a big fucking boom, delivered by the Resistance straight to their front door.

Rey was going to fly the Falcon, no discussion about it, with Chewie, Ben, Finn and Rose on board. It was still the largest ship in the fleet and it was expected to do the most damage. There was pressure, but she felt very good about being surrounded by her friends at the end of everything.

Poe’s new X-Wing got the orange stripes that were, she learned, a trademark, and it got the name _Black Leader_. That also felt terribly right, and the smirk on Poe’s face as he talked about his ship was as beautiful as it was cocky.

They spent an hour more doing last minute preparations and Rey memorized the flight formations they were going to use, because it was the first time she will be in this large of a space battle.

People kept making their way to Rey, to wish her good luck. Vega hugged her tightly, Mally promised to drink with her when it was all over. Jed made her promise to not let Finn do anything stupid and Officer Arlos spent a few moments with Rey hiding from Poe who was, apparently, too enthusiastic.

When Poe’s voice came over the intercom, urging everyone to board their ships, Rey was already in the Falcon’s pilot seat.

Finn and Rose came first, arguing over who was better fitted to man the blasters. Rose was going to win and they all knew it, but Rey didn’t intervene. Their voices were still raised as they walked away, but they stopped abruptly. They were kissing, probably, and it made Rey smile, especially when she heard Finn relent, promising to let Rose shoot when the time came.

Chewie arrived next, patting her head and telling her a confident _You got this_ , but to her confusion, he didn’t sit down, moving to leave.

‘You’re not flying with me?’

He shook his head, _Not this time, Rey_.

She understood when he moved away and she saw Ben heading steadily for the cockpit, telling BB-9 to stick with Chewie. He didn’t hesitate, stepping in and taking the co-pilot seat. She wanted to ask when was the last time he flew the Falcon, if he ever did, but she didn’t, it wasn’t the right time.

His eyes went straight to the gold dice still hanging on the dashboard, and he smiled, a sad thing, as he jiggled them gently.

‘These are the dice he used to win the Falcon.’

‘Because of course he _won_ the ship.’, Rey rolled her eyes, berating herself for not thinking about it sooner.

Looking to her, Ben took a deep breath. ‘Are we ready for this?’

‘Yes.’, she didn’t hesitate, straightening her back. ‘Yes we are.’

He lowered his voice to a whisper, smirking slightly. ‘I love you most when you’re fierce and deadly.’

Rey’s heart flipped violently, but the smile that came over her was everything but. Quickly, Ben bent over his seat and pressed his lips to hers. He didn’t quite hit his mark, meeting just the corner of her lips, but he was quick to tilt his head and kiss her properly. Slow, but with just enough power to tell her that he meant what he had said wholeheartedly.

When Ben’s hand sneaked onto her waist, there came a growl from the main area of the ship.

 _Hands where I can see them_ , Chewie said with alarm.

Mortified, Rey all but jumped away from Ben, face bright red and heart in her throat. He wasn’t affected at all, chuckling under his breath.

‘Too late for that, you old rug.’

‘It really is.’, they heard Finn mutter.

Chewie put his hands on his hips, looking with disappointment at them.

‘But we didn’t-’, Rey mumbled, making Ben raise a very judgmental eyebrow at her.

 _Han kissed his princess for the first time on the Falcon_.

Ben turned to glare at the Wookiee, speaking slowly and somewhat menacingly. ‘Chewie, never, ever again will you speak to me about my parents kissing.’

 _But it’s sweet_ , BB-9 beeped from behind Chewie’s legs.

‘No.’, Ben said gravely. ‘It is not.’

 _I don’t understand_ , the droid beeped sadly.

 _He’s being a brat_ , Chewie piped up.

Ben just side eyed him disdainfully.

_Rey, you got your hands full with this kid._

Again, her heart fluttered and she couldn’t help but smile. Chewie growled in annoyance, but Ben grinned wildly at her, putting a hand on her knee, squeezing once before letting go.

Poe’s voice came over the commlink, urging everyone to take off and head to the meeting point.

‘Go sit, Chewie.’, Ben said somewhat gently. ‘We can handle it.’

Surprisingly, the Wookiee listened. BB-9 obediently followed him out, and Ben and Rey were left alone in the cockpit.

‘Come on, then.’, he said easily. ‘Let’s get this piece of junk up in the sky.’

As Rey started the launch sequence and got off the ground, even as she was surprised to see Ben knowing exactly what a co-pilot needed to do, she couldn’t help but berate him.

‘Be nice to the Falcon. It saved me from you, once. Brought me to you, once.’

‘Of course, Rey. Please gently beg it to take us to hyperspace while I pray it doesn’t disintegrate before we reach our meeting point.’

She shouldn’t have expected anything else, really.

/∆\

They were all in the cockpit when the Falcon dropped out of hyperdrive. The scene they were met with took Rey’s breath away and for the first time, it wasn’t because of the planet she saw.

It was because of the ships. There were so many of them, Rey hadn’t realized before, when she saw the numbers in a document, she didn’t realize what they actually meant, how much space between the stars they would occupy. There were ships she had worked on before, there were ships she recognized, a few types she had never even seen before.

‘Breathe, Rey.’, Ben said around a smile, grabbing a hold of her hand.

‘This is beautiful.’, Finn said, surprisingly strong. ‘This will work.’

Metal and stardust. And in front of it all, _Black Leader’s_ orange stripes stood out against everything.

‘Heads up, Resistance.’, Poe’s unwavering voice came through the commlink. ‘We got company.’

Finn and Rose ran to the gunner position, Chewie didn’t leave the cockpit, but took a step back and BB-9 beeped a sweet _Good luck_ , before anchoring itself as well as it could.

With a deep breath, Rey got the Falcon into formation.

/∆\

Chaos. Utter chaos.

Rey’s heart was beating wildly in her chest, the Force was vibing with so much energy around her, good and bad, she felt like she was going to throw up, but her hands didn’t falter.

She stuck to the battle formations she had learned, thus managing to not hinder any other Resistance ships. But she got confused, at times, because there were types of ships in their fleet that the First Order was using as well. Ben was a huge help, then, not only did he know which ships belonged to which side, but he knew when Rey needed the information.

Over the Falcon’s commlink, Rey heard Finn doing the same thing with Rose, and all the hits coming from the ship connected with their target.

It was chaos like Rey had never experienced before, explosions always in the corner of her eyes, parts flying everywhere, so many voices over the commlink it was hard to keep up at times. The Force was filled with the screams of the dead but the power of the living, as well.

She felt Han, as close as he never was in the short time they spent together. But he was there in that moment, flying the Falcon with her.

Ben being by her side helped immensely. She didn’t know if he was actively doing something, if he was manipulating the Force or if he was in her head, but Rey realized everything that she could feel in that moment should have unbalanced her to the core, but it didn’t.

It didn’t, her hands were steady, her movements swift, her head was clear. The Falcon moved when and where it should, Rose and Finn never missed a shot, Chewie and BB-9 kept yelling out encouragements, there were voices she didn’t recognize praising the Falcon over the comms and Rey felt more alive than ever before.

She had no idea how much time had passed, but the Force Order’s ships were obliterated and all that was left was an unnatural asteroid field made out of broken ships. It was beautiful, in its destruction.

‘Resistance!’, Poe’s voice came through, loud and clear. ‘Great job, but this isn’t over. Let’s kick some Strormtrooper ass!’

With that, he flew to the planet.

Rey took a shaky breath and shared a look with Ben. As focused as he had looked until then, his expression now betrayed excitement, and she knew his fingers were itching to get on his crossguard.

‘Punch it.’, Ben grinned.

 _Punch it_ , Chewie agreed.

 _Go, Sunshine, go go go!_ , BB-9 added.

Rey followed Poe to planetfall.

/∆\

The planet looked deserted. The scans indicated no life forms, except for a large cluster in the place they knew the First Order base was. Everything was covered in shades of grey, the planet was made out of some sort of rock, its colors layered in waves. There were some green and blue batches, but not anywhere near.

They had to leave the ships a short walk away from the base, because it was surrounded by weird, shard-like formations that provided a natural shield. BB-9 was not keen on being left behind, it was very close to anchoring itself to Ben’s belt. But after a few belly rubs and a serious conversation about the importance of keeping the Falcon safe, the droid stayed. It was not happy about it, and her sad beeps sounded like a child crying, but it did stay on the Falcon, alongside Chewie, who was set to offer air support if needed.

Because the planet was bare, they could see the First Order base as soon as they stepped outside. It was about the same size as the Resistance one, but it didn’t matter, because it looked like every Stormtrooper was already outside of the ring of shards, set in fighting formation.

Oddly enough, they didn’t shoot. Even if they were a clear open target, a few hundred people making their way on an open field, the Stormtroopers did not shoot at them. Walking into a battle like this was a very strange feeling, for Rey. It didn’t sit well with her.

Poe was leading the formation, and Ben was quick to fall in line with him, Rey by his side.

‘This ain’t good.’, Poe said, faltering for the first time that day.

‘I’ve got a bad feeling about this.’, Ben agreed.

‘Maybe they’ll surrender?’, Rey tried to keep optimistic.

‘Definitely not.’, Ben was quick to shake his head. ‘But maybe some of them will, if we flaunt Finn in front of them.’

‘Nobody’s flaunting me!’, Finn’s raised voice was getting closer. ‘But the former Stormtroopers and I are willing to take first line.’

‘Why didn’t we think of that before?’, Poe frowned at Ben.

‘We did, at least Delany and I did. We just thought it would be very insensitive to ask.’

Finn finally made it to their side. ‘Why aren’t they shooting? This feels so weird.’

‘We know, buddy.’, Poe was quick to knock their shoulders together.

‘Who’s in charge?’, Finn looked to Ben. ‘Who’s left to be in charge? They can’t be very smart, we’re sitting ducks.’

Ben considered. ‘It’s either Roley or Aaren. By my calculations, they’re the only two commanding officers left.’

‘And both of them are known to be trigger happy.’, Finn pointed out. ‘What the hell is going on?’

‘I don’t know, but I don’t like it. And I don’t like not knowing things.’

Finn grabbed Poe’s arm and drew him two steps away from Ben, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

‘Still think you’re going to turn around and see a red lightsaber pointed at your throat?’, Ben asked, dripping sarcasm.

‘Yes.’, Finn was very serious. ‘My throat, Rose’s throat, Poe’s throat.’

Rey didn’t miss the fact that he didn’t say her name, and Ben didn’t either, because he looked to her, briefly, before turning back to the other man.

‘Well, Finn. I haven’t killed you yet and quite frankly, I’m more concerned about what looks to be at least a thousand Stormtroopers waiting for us.’

Finn shut up at that, gulping, but Ben softened as well.

‘You should get the rest. I sense hesitation in the Force, and it’s not coming from our side. Seeing you might make a difference.’

As Finn went back and started gathering former Stormtroopers, Rey wearily eyed Ben. Because Poe was still very close by, she spoke in his head.

**_Do you really feel hesitation in the Force? Cause I don’t._ **

**_No_** , he admitted, **_but I didn’t want to scare him more than he is._**

Now that he had said it, Rey had to acknowledge it. Everyone was afraid. She felt nothing else in the Force, except for the dark pull of fear. And it wasn’t just coming from the people walking behind her, but from the ones in front of her, as well.

‘Remind me again.’, she breathed in. ‘Why did we leave the air support with the big blasters behind?’

‘Cause they’re big blasters.’, Poe answered. ‘They’d blow us up too.’

Somehow, she had a feeling they would regret that decision.

As the former Stormtroopers came to the front of the line and took their places next to Poe, Finn and Ben, Rey got pushed to the back, where she found Rose. They didn’t exchange any words, but a strong look and a shoulder bump. It was enough.

The stopped, a few hundred feet away from the wall of Stormtroopers.

‘Commander Aaren’, Ben raised his voice, ‘this does not have to end in bloodshed.’

‘And it will not!’, came the quick answer. ‘Master Ren, we are waiting.’

‘For what?’, Ben asked, but it wasn’t loud enough to be heard by the other man.

‘You never betrayed the First Order.’, Aaren went on. ‘Such a thing is not possible. Neither you nor the Stormtroopers around you have truly betrayed us. Now it is time to rid yourself of the chains of the Resistance and come back to where you belong.’

That statement, delivered strongly and without any trace of a doubt, was followed by a very awkward silence.

‘Is this guy for real?’, Mally asked, very loudly.

‘Must have gone mad in his old age.’, Ref added very calmly.

‘Kinda wanna go along with it’, Mally snorted, ‘just so I can see the shock on his face up close when he realizes how wrong he is.’

‘No.’, Ben calmly said. ‘Finn, you’re up.’

He took a few steps forward, making himself a target and getting Rose’s anxiousness to spike up.

‘Stormtroopers!’, he yelled strongly. ‘You know who I am, you know what I stand for. This is your last chance to join the Resistance.’

There was no doubt about it, Finn came a very long way since the moment he deserted. Rey was very proud of him, to see him go from someone who wanted to run at the edge of the galaxy just to get away from the First Order, to someone standing tall right in front of it. She was very glad she had a friend in Finn, and even though she thought they would end up differently at the start, she was happy to know that Rose loved him as much as he deserved.

Aaren ordered FN-2187 to come back to where he belonged. Finn shook his head. Then the commander yelled for the rest of the Stormtroopers on the Resistance’s side. Of course, they didn’t listen, Mally going as far as making some very rude gestures.

Finally, Aaren yelled for Master Ren. Who turned to Poe.

‘Attack?’, Ben asked him.

Poe answered with a battle cry, an order.

Rey barely had time to take a breath before she was pushed into the battle. Her lightsaber was a familiar weight in her hand, the blue light comforting against the harsh grey of the rocks she was fighting on.

Like in the sky before, her heart was racing, she felt like she was going to throw up, but she didn’t falter. There was sweat on her brows and on her neck, there was anger and determination settled deeply inside of herself, her lightsaber stopped blaster shot after blaster shot, Stormtroopers were falling down at her feet and even though there were tears in Rey’s eyes, she knew that she was doing the right thing.

She saved Rose once, when a Stormtrooper sneaked up on her and had a laser ax aimed for her throat. She pushed Mally out of the way of a blaster shot, before using the Force to change its trajectory, back to the person who fired it. She fought back to back with Vega for a while, delighted by the way the other woman yelled her battle cries.

Rey kept an eye for Ben, but it wasn’t needed. He could take care of himself.

‘We need cover’, Jed came to her side, ‘from the blasters. Do you think you can move the shards?’

Rey’s eyes grew wide at that, she really should have thought about it sooner. She nodded, and she was quickly surrounded by a small squad of former Stormtroopers, who were covering her. It took a little longer than she would have liked, for the shards to come out of the ground, but she did manage to do it. She took the shards away from the base and arranged them more neatly into groups, forming a few shielded areas that the Resistance was quick to take advantage of.

After that was done, Rey went straight back to the fight, but she wasn’t as strong, now. Force manipulation, especially at this large of a scale, it always drained her. It was just lifting rocks, yes, but these rocks have been very heavy.

A very large Stormtrooper got the best of her, managing to do something not even a Praetorian Guard did: he got Rey trapped. Her lightsaber was still on, but she couldn’t move it without hurting herself and the trooper had trapped her other hand, as well.

There was nothing else that Rey could do, in that moment, but use the Force. It took a great deal out of her, but as she did with Hux once before, she took out all the air in his lungs and prevented him for breathing in more.

It wasn’t the first life she took, but it was the first she took like this, and it felt horrible. The Force felt… tainted. Dirty.

As the man’s lifeless body fell to the ground, she had to take a moment to take a deep breath and recenter herself, gather strength from where she could, the strength she needed to finish this.

Rey didn’t get to do that. Something happened, something knocked her off her feet and set her body on fire. It took a while, of staring up at the bright blue sky, for her to realize that she was shot.

Someone was screaming her name, but Rey couldn’t turn to the sound.

The pain was more than everything she had ever felt, and it was radiating from her side. She managed to lift a shaky hand to the point, felt her fingers touch something wet. When she saw what it was, her only thought was that the blood on her hand looked very pretty against the blue sky.

There was someone laughing, close by, and when Rey’s eyes managed to focus, she saw a Stormtrooper with his blaster aimed down at her.

‘The great Jedi, killed by a simple blaster shot. You’re not so gr -’

He got cut off mid-word by his neck bending at a very odd angle. He died instantly, falling to the ground next to her.

And then Ben was there, saying her name desperately, pressing on her wound, making her cry out in pain. There were tears in his eyes, that Rey didn’t understand. She didn’t mind dying right then. She fought as well as she could, for as long as she could. If the Force needed her death in that moment, so be it.

Would Luke be waiting for her? Would Leia?

It didn’t matter, because Ben would be left behind.

He had to keep fighting. Why wasn’t he fighting?

Rey didn’t manage to say the words out loud. She didn’t manage to say them in his head, either. She didn’t understand what he was saying anymore, he was getting blurry before her eyes and she was so very cold, as cold as the coldest nights on Jakku.

She loved Ben. Rey kept on to that feeling for as long as she could, because it gave her warmth.

Her hand shook as she raised it to his cheek, but she felt him. In her fingertips, his warmth, his love, his life.

The blood she left behind looked stark against his pale skin, but it was starting to come off with the tears that fell on his cheeks. She loved this boy more than she had ever loved anything else.

As darkness overtook her, she was very angry the Force didn’t grant her more time with him.

/∆\

Finn had no idea who was winning, but he wasn’t going to stop fighting anytime soon. Even though he was bleeding from five different places, even if his body was beginning to tire, even if breathing was getting more and more difficult.

It was hard to use his blaster, because it was a medium range weapon and because everyone was fighting in close quarters, it would have been impossible not to shoot Resistance fighters too. So Finn didn’t use his blaster, only if he was able to push it straight into the armor of a Strormtrooper. He used his fists, he used his legs and his knees and everything that he had in him.

He didn’t want to get his ego up, but by the looks of things, he was pretty big with the Stormtroopers. It wasn’t a good thing, in that moment, because every time a trooper saw him, they attacked him, ruthlessly. Honestly, Finn did not get a moment to breathe, he felt like everyone was out for him. And it was exhausting, it was more than he was ever trained for.

In the training program, Stormtroopers were taught to fight together. They learned how to fight by being a unit, having each other’s backs and helping each other. In his fights with the Resistance, Finn noticed that happening as well. But now, everyone was too busy fighting for their own lives to have the opportunity to check on the others around them.

So when there were four Stormtroopers descending on him, he was all alone. Not good odds, but he wasn’t going to go down. All the men were ruthless, and in their anger, they forwent their blasters for fists and feet.

The pain was torturous, but Finn fought to stay up. He managed to knock one of the Stormtroopers to the ground, but it enraged the other three. Two of them grabbed a hold of him, incapacitating his arms, while the third one started punching his stomach.

Just as Finn felt like he was going to scream, there was a red lightsaber aimed at his neck. Except that it wasn’t. The lightsaber had decapitated the Stormtrooper kicking him, and it being close to Finn’s neck was just a byproduct of it.

Solo looked deranged, wildness in his eyes, blood splattered on his face and neck, sweat on his brow and a shaky bottom lip. ‘Get down’, he ordered Finn, and he did on instinct.

The two left Stormtroopers were too shocked to stop him. They were also too shocked to dodge Solo’s lightsaber, which cut straight through them, one after the other.

Somewhat in awe, Finn picked himself off the ground, unable to look away from Solo.

‘Thanks.’, he managed to breathe out.

Whatever Solo was going to answer got cut off. His face contorted in pain and he doubled over, blindly grabbing Finn’s arm to keep himself up. Finn thought he got hit, but there wasn’t any wound on him when he checked.

His head snapped up to Finn, a single word forming in a whisper. _Rey_.

Frantic, Finn looked around the battlefield. His eyes landed on Rey, she was pretty far away from them, and he saw just as she fell to the ground.

Solo screamed her name and he started running towards her. Finn followed, pushing away Stormtroopers who thought they’d fight. They got slowed down, and Finn grew very desperate when he saw a Stormtrooper towering over Rey, blaster raised.

With another scream of her name, Solo extended his hand and the Stormtrooper's neck snapped, his body falling away from Rey. He didn’t stop screaming her name, and when they finally made it to her side, Solo fell to his knees.

Finn froze. There was a blaster shot on Rey’s side, on her hip. Her shirt was burned and there was blood pooling onto the rock beneath her, so much blood.

 _So much blood_.

Solo was saying her name, saying _no_ and _please_ over and over again, _stay with me, please_. He pushed on the wound and Rey screamed, the most horrible sound Finn had ever heard, and it made him fall to his knees.

She moved, slowly and shakily, raising a hand and touching Solo’s cheek. He was crying, Finn realized, as he kept saying Rey’s name.

She tried saying something, but it didn’t work.

‘I’ve got you, you’re going to be alright.’, Solo said desperately. ‘Please, everything is going to be alright, you, Rey, Rey, please, Rey. REY!’

She closed her eyes, her hand falling to her chest, and no matter how much Solo yelled her name, she didn’t wake up.

He screamed. Solo screamed, and it reverberated through the galaxy. A sound of despair, of hurt and anger, so strong and feral it shook the bones in Finn’s body and it terrified him. He fell backwards, landing on his ass, and he could not close his eyes.

Solo’s face was pale, and his tears were washing away the blood Rey had left on his cheek. There was fire in his eyes, as he screamed, and Finn may not know much about the Force, but in that moment, he could almost see it, surrounding the other man in a cocoon of strength.

As Solo’s scream died down, Finn noticed that he wasn’t the only one who fell. Around them, all around the battlefield, there were Stormtroopers lying unconscious. Just Stormtroopers, the Resistance and its allies standing tall between the fallen bodies. Solo hadn’t taken out all of the troopers, but most of them.

He picked Rey up in her arms, and Finn faltered, because the last time he had seen Kylo Ren carry her like that, she was taken away from him. He ran after them, praying to whatever gods were listening that it won’t happen again.

Solo was heading towards the ships.

‘Isn’t there a med bay inside the base?’, Finn had to ask.

‘It’s not secure yet.’, Ben grunted, just as Poe ran to their side.

He stared with wide eyes at Rey, and then at Ben, who didn’t even spare him a glance and did not stop walking.

‘Where are you taking her?’, Poe finally asked, voice breaking.

‘Naboo, it’s closest. Dameron, there are still Stormtroopers in the base. Not a lot, but you need to get them.’

‘We got this.’, Poe said with some strength. ‘Go, Ben, go!’

Solo started running, and Finn found himself hesitating in going after him. Rey was dying and he couldn’t do anything about it. But there was still a fight happening, and he could help with that.

But Rey, after everything they’ve been through -

Rose took that decision out of his hands, by wordlessly grabbing his and running after Solo, dragging Finn with her.

BB-9 and Chewie were waiting for them on the Falcon’s hatch. The Wookiee growled something that Finn didn’t understand, but after Ben said an emotionless ‘Naboo’, he rushed inside the ship, dragging Rose with him to the cockpit. The droid kept saying _Sunshine_ and _no_ over and over again, and the pitiful sounds cut straight through Finn’s heart.

He followed Ben to the crew quarters, where he very gently laid Rey on one of the beds, kneeling down next to it. His gloved hand was holding onto her wound, and he was staring at her, but his eyes were… It didn't look like Solo was all _there_. It was a terrifying thought, because right now, Rey needed him, that much was clear to Finn.

So he said Solo’s name a couple of times, getting no response, not even a flinch. He grabbed his shoulders and called him Ben for the first time, and that worked, the other man moved his eyes to Finn.

‘Can you use the Force to help her?’

Ben nodded. ‘I’m trying’, his voice broke. ‘I’m keeping the energy in.’

That didn’t make a lot of sense to Finn, but what did he know? Nothing.

‘What do you need?’, he asked with as much strength as he could.

Ben shook his head, fear finally appearing in his eyes. ‘I don’t… I can’t…’

‘Solo.’, Finn said strongly. ‘Tell me what you need.’

He didn’t answer.

 _Med supplies_ , BB-9 was by the door.

Ben blinked a few times, but he did nod, and Finn was quick to remember where they were, from that time he had to patch Chewie up. It felt like it was lifetimes ago.

Finn forced himself to remember what he was taught. It was just basic med training, but it was something. He pushed his fingers gently to Rey’s neck. While her skin was cold to the touch, he felt a pulse.

‘I need to dress the wound.’, he told Ben.

He barely moved, but he did take his hand off Rey, just far enough so that Finn could reach the place where she was hit. He cleaned the wound as best as he could, surprised to see that it wasn’t losing blood anymore. It must have been Ben’s doing. Finn covered the wound with gauze and as soon as it was done, Ben pushed his hand back on it.

Finn grabbed his wrist and swiftly took off his glove. He doesn’t know why he did it, but when Rose was hurt, he had to restrain himself from touching her at all times. And that was just after one kiss and a handful of life or death situations, Ben and Rey had much more than that between them.

Ben said nothing. He was still crying, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. Finn couldn’t bear to watch them, so he turned his eyes to Rey.

She looked like she was sleeping peacefully, and wasn’t that a cruel joke? There was blood splattered on her face, chest and arms, but it wasn’t hers. Finn wiped it off as best and as gently as he could.

When he was done, he took a step away and BB-9 was quick to take his place, pushing itself until he was plastered to Ben’s side. _Our_ _Sunshine_ , was all it said, in such a sad way, Finn found himself doubting whether or not the droid was made with just a series of 1 and 0s.

Rose came in, grabbing Finn’s hand before she started talking.

‘We called ahead to Naboo, they’re waiting for us.’

When she got no answer, she turned to Finn with tears in her eyes. ‘How is she?’

‘Fighting.’, Ben said in a harsh whisper.

Nothing else was said, not as they got out of hyperspace, not as Rose went to help Chewie land, not as several med droids and human doctors got Rey on a stretcher and carried her away, Ben and Finn hot on their heels.

/∆\

Rey was taken straight into an operating room, and the two men were left standing outside of it, in a too brightly lit corridor with plush couches. Ben sank into one, he had stopped crying, but he was staring at the shiny floor as intense as if he was watching something on the HoloNet.

A woman came to them, she was probably in the Queen’s staff, judging by the opulence of her clothes.

‘Queen Dor is on her way’, she told them gently.

Looking at himself, looking at Ben, they both looked like a mess, covered in blood and sweat.

‘Is there anywhere we can wash up?’

The woman pointed to a door further down the hallway. He started walking, but Ben wasn’t following.

‘Come on.’, Finn said.

Ben didn’t even look to him.

‘Come on, man.’, he said a bit more strongly, but it made no difference.

So Finn grabbed a hold of Ben’s arm and pulled at it. Surprisingly, he let himself be carried to the fresher. There was a row of sinks there, with hot water running, and Finn washed his face and hands as well as he could. Ben did the same, but when he was done, he just stared at himself in the mirror.

There were tears in his eyes, but they weren’t falling anymore.

‘She’s in good hands.’, Finn found himself saying. ‘You… You might just have saved her today.’

‘Might.’, Ben said, voice hollow.

‘Maybe’s the best we got right now.’

‘Is it?’

Ben finally turned to look at Finn. He looked like Finn felt: broken, empty, almost empty, afraid, in pain, desperate.

Ready to chase his love across the galaxy.

In that moment, Finn pushed away everything he had ever known about Kylo Ren. When he moved to hug Ben, the other man took a small step back, but Finn wouldn’t have it. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders, and even if Ben didn’t hug him back, he didn’t care.

Ben took a shaky breath.

‘She’s going to pull through.’, Finn willed his voice not to waver. ‘Rey’s going to be alright, because she’s strong and because she has _us_ to come back to.’

Ben didn’t quite respond to the hug, but he pushed his cheek into Finn’s shoulder and he grabbed onto the back of his jacket. He also took a deep breath, centering himself.

When they locked eyes, there was understanding between them, for the first time, and for the thousand time, a spark of the love they both felt for Rey. That was what got the both of them going through the next hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the cliffhanger (no i'm not)  
> the last chapter is gonna be extra long (10k to be exact)  
> and fluffy (the fluffiest tbh)  
> and smutty (>4k words of it)  
> and I'll post it sooner (sunday, probably)  
> so don't yell at me too much


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the war reaches its conclusion, life goes on. But before that, Rey and her friends get to spend a few days on Naboo. It’s an end, and it’s a beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is legit 10.000 words  
> we're going out with a fluffy, smutty ... big bang!  
> enjoy :)
> 
> PS: does anyone know how birthcontrol works in this universe? cause I just... ignored it.

 

Rey woke up feeling tired.

Rey woke up feeling.

Rey _woke up_.

The realization hit her strongly, and she managed to open her eyes. She didn’t recognize where she was, the room was very brightly lit and it smelled clean. She was on a bed, a very soft bed, covered in a thick blanket.

There was a med droid next to the bed. While it kept silent, seeing it forced Rey to take stock of her body. She felt tired, very much like she wanted to sleep for a hundred years, but the wound in her side didn’t hurt as much as it should have. She felt it, constantly, but it was more of a sore pain.

 _Sunshine_ , there was a low beep. Turning around to the door, she saw BB-9 standing by it, and she saw Ben.

He was sprawled in a chair, with his hands crossed over his chest and his head bent back, fast asleep. He wasn’t wearing all black anymore, dressed instead in clothes she was used to seeing him in in the Resistance base.

He wasn’t covered in her blood anymore. He wasn’t crying.

Remembering the last moments before she passed out, Rey started tearing up and sniffing.

 _Sunshine_ , BB-9 said again, very alarmed, bumping into Ben’s shins and for once, effectively waking him up.

He cursed the droid first, which made Rey smile, but then he seemed to remember where he was and his eyes snapped up to Rey.

Ben moved fast, rushing to the bed and sitting on the edge of it, grabbing her hand and using his other to comb through Rey’s hair.

‘What happened?’, she asked.

‘You don’t remember?’, he asked in concern.

‘I remember, I meant after. What happened with the First Order?’

Ben took a deep breath before he started talking. ‘The First Order is no more. The Resistance crushed down the last of it, taking over the base. All the remaining Strormtroopers were taken into custody, awaiting trial. There’s a council being formed, but uniting the galaxy is a difficult thing to do, especially after a war of this magnitude. It takes time.’

Rey’s eyes were wide. ‘How long have I been asleep?’

‘Five long days’, he smiled sadly.

 _We’ve been staying with you!_ , BB-9 was clearly very happy to see her awake.

‘It’s been rough.’, Ben admitted. ‘But you’re going to be alright. We got you here in time, and the doctors healed you. It’s going to leave a scar, and it’s going to be sore for awhile, but… You’ll live.’

‘You saved me.’, Rey understood. He must have taken her and left the battlefield.

‘I used the Force to keep the wound from bleeding out. Finn cleaned it up, Rose and Chewie flew the Falcon.’ He smiled, a little. ‘BB-9 was a crying mess.’

_I can’t cry, but I would have, Sunshine._

She laughed at that, but stopped quickly, feeling a flash of pain in her wound.

Ben looked at her sadly.

‘Where are we?’, Rey asked after the pain subsided.

‘Naboo. It was closest, and… I did promise Miss Dor I’d come here with my friends once the war was over.’

Her eyes grew wide at that.

‘Rose and Finn, Poe, Vega, Mally, Raf and… Who did I forget?’

 _Dalo and Connix_ , BB-9 supplied.

‘Right. They’re all at the lake house. Sleeping, mostly, recovering from flesh wounds. They usually come visit in the evenings.’

‘When can I go?’, Rey asked, desperation seeping through. She didn’t want to be stuck in a bed, she wanted to be with her friends, with Ben.

He smiled, cupping her cheek and calming her down instantly. ‘Soon, Rey. But you need to rest some more, let your body heal. I promise, they will all still be there when you’ve healed.’

_Sleep, Sunshine! Sleep to get healthy!_

She relented at that, knowing there was no way to sway neither Ben nor BB-9.

‘I’m sorry.’, she told him because she knew how horrible this must have been for him. She saw it in his eyes, in those last moments and she hated that she was the cause of so much pain.

‘It’s easy, really’, he smiled brightly, ‘I’m just never going to let you out of my sight ever again and nothing like this will happen.’

‘I love you.’, it came out of her in a rush. ‘So much, I-’

‘I know you do.’, Ben’s smile softened. ‘As I love you. So please, get some more rest, so that you can heal and we can… work on it.’

Rey nodded at that, warmth spreading throughout her entire body.

_Give her a goodnight kiss, Master Ben._

Ben huffed, faking aggravation, but he did bend and give Rey a very gentle kiss to the corner of her lips. He then kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her forehead, whispering ‘I love you’ against it before pulling away.

She fell asleep incredibly quickly, with Ben’s hand still in hers.

/∆\

The next time she woke up, it was to Finn sitting on the floor with BB-9 between his legs, wiping the droid with a wet rag. She just watched them for a while, but it didn’t take long for Finn to throw the rag into a basket near the door and give BB-9 some belly rubs.

‘There you go, BB-9. You’re all clean, now.’

_Thank you, Finn._

‘Tell Ben he owes me, yeah? It’s his job to-’

‘Since when do you call him Ben?’, Rey asked, very incredulous.

Finn yelped, almost smacking the droid, rushing to get off the floor and to her side.

‘You’re awake, how are you feeling? Do you want anything, food? Water? Should I get the doctor or-’

Rey grabbed his hand and Finn stopped his ramble, sighing deeply.

‘You scared me.’, his eyes were still wide. ‘And then Ben scared me and-’

‘Ben scared you?’, Rey frowned. ‘What happened?’

Finn’s eyes moved to BB-9, and to the door of the room, which was open. There were doctors and nurses walking around the hallway.

‘I really shouldn’t say. But I can show you. Could you, I mean, can you get in my mind?’

‘Are you sure?’ She had never done it with anyone except for Ben, but she knew it was something she could do. Still, it felt wrong to prod her best friend’s mind.

But Finn nodded strongly, closing his eyes. So as gently as she could, Rey skimmed the surface of his thoughts. He was thinking of it, so she saw everything that had happened, from Finn’s perspective.

She saw Ben saving him, Ben feeling her get shot. The two of them running to her side, Ben begging her to stay. Ben, with blood on his cheek, screaming and obliterating the Stormtroopers. Ben on the Falcon, taking care of her. Ben, letting himself be hugged by Finn.

Ben, sagging against a wall in relief as a doctor explained that Rey will recover. Ben, arguing with Poe about taking shifts to stay with her. Ben, accepting clean clothes from Finn, meals and tea cups. Ben, asleep by her bed, BB-9 between his legs.

When Rey opened her eyes, there were tears in them.

‘I’m glad’, Finn said softly, ‘that you have someone that loves you as much as you deserve.’

Rey shared that sentiment wholeheartedly.

‘Besides me, I mean.’, he smirked. ‘He’s got a little work to do, to get up on my level, but it’ll do for now.’

She laughed, and her wound didn’t hurt as much anymore.

‘Thank you.’, she told Finn. ‘Not just for saving me, but for taking care of Ben when I couldn’t.’

He looked a little embarrassed by that, but he recovered quickly. ‘He would have been here, but the Queen requested he’d join her for lunch.’

‘It’s fine. Come on, sit down and tell me what you’ve been up to.’

For the next hour, that’s what Finn did. He talked about how they were staying in Leia’s lake house and the trinkets it was filled with. About how Poe and he have been trying to find pictures of baby Ben but were yet unsuccessful.

He talked about how Poe fell asleep in various places that were not designed for it, about how he spent a few hours each day talking to a vast array of politicians, helping build back the Republic while strongly refusing to become a politician himself.

He talked about how Vega and Raf spent most of their day sunbathing on the pier, while Mally spent hours on end in the lake. About how Connix always woke up in the middle of the night when someone was screaming from a nightmare, how Dalo made them all go out for a run around the house each day.

With a spark in his eyes, Finn spoke about how him and Rose didn’t like to stay cooped up in the house for too long, so they walked around the lakes, up on the mountains and around the waterfalls, how beautiful and colorful it all was.

Was this what happiness felt like? Almost, Rey thought. Almost.

/∆\

She was allowed to leave the hospital the next day, come sundown. The doctor examined her one last time after all but kicking Ben and BB-9 out of the room. He was thorough in explaining that while she had a surprisingly fast recovery, she shouldn’t start a new war just yet.

‘Still, _some_ physical activity will do you good.’

He paired this with a flirty wink and Rey blushed all the way down to her chest. Still, when she saw Ben waiting for her in the hallway with a gentle smile on his face, Rey thought that yes, some physical activity was just what she needed.

/∆\

The house was beautiful, but Ben hurried her through it, all the way to the back terrace that faced the lake. There was a party in full swing. Music coming from a big speaker, a lot of food and fruit tarts, there were juices that tasted sweet and sour at the same time. The lake was shimmering with the starlight reflecting in it, the terrace was illuminated by strategically placed torches.

Her friends all welcomed Rey with wide arms, with laughter, hugs and kisses. Ben was a constant by her side, an arm thrown over her shoulders, making sure she always had fruit tarts in reach, making fun of their friends but only in her mind, BB-9 beeping happily at their legs.

This, Rey concluded, was what happiness felt like.

/∆\

Poe made his way to their side, dragging a chair with him. He placed it right in front of Rey, sitting down and sprawling shamelessly, putting his feet up in Ben’s lap.

‘Comfortable?’, he drawled out.

Poe froze for a second, but he calmed down quickly, snorting. ‘You’re an asshole.’

Ben just shrugged, accepting it.

‘I’ve missed something.’, Rey felt the need to say, making both of the men turn to her.

‘You don’t wanna know.’, Poe finally said, before smiling at her. ‘How are you feeling, Sunshine?’

‘I’m alright.’, she smiled. ‘A little tired, but I’m fine.’

He took a deep breath. ‘We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. Both of you.’, he glanced at Ben.

‘You’re not gonna get emotional on us, are you?’, Ben asked with a heavy dose of disgust in his voice.

Poe rolled his eyes. ‘I’ve been crying every night since I’ve got to Naboo.’

Ben froze at that, but Rey didn’t, reaching out and grabbing a hold of Poe’s hand.

‘I’ve been fighting for the Resistance for a long, long time. My parents fought the Empire, they both served under Han and Leia when they destroyed the Death Star.’ He took his hand out of Rey’s hold, and started playing with a necklace he was wearing. It was the first time she noticed there was a ring dangling on it.

‘You don’t understand how… _big_ this is for me. Being able to breathe, without the panic and -’ He cut himself off with a large intake of air.

‘I’ve lost a lot.’, Poe went on, looking at a point above Rey’s head. ‘All my family, a lot of friends, a lot of people, a lot of… nights and days and opportunities and… everything. But now, I feel like it was worth it.’ He looked to Ben. ‘It feels like I’m a bad person for it, but I still believe it. What does that say about me?’

‘That you’ve been a warrior for far too long.’, Ben didn’t hesitate. ‘And that it’s high time you stopped.’

‘Stop?’, Poe chuckled, weakly. ‘I don’t know how to be anything else but a pilot.’

‘You’ll find out.’, Ben said easily, around a smile. ‘Maybe being a politician isn’t a path you’re comfortable with taking, but you’ll find something.’

‘Easy-peasy.’, Poe pulled a face.

‘Hey.’, Rey gently slapped his knee. ‘Being a Resistance fighter was a job. You invested your heart and soul in it, yes, but it was job. You’ll find another one. If I could go from being a scavenger to wielding a lightsaber, then you can do absolutely anything you want.’

‘Yeah?’, Poe finally seemed amused. ‘What if I want to design clothes?’

‘Then you should make me a dress I can wear with pants underneath.’, Rey didn’t miss a beat, making the other man smile fondly at her.

‘You don’t have to make a decision now.’, Ben said rather pointedly. ‘There’s still a lot of work you need to do before settling down.’

Poe sighed at that. ‘Why did I come to Darth Boy for a therapy session?’, he muttered under his breath.

‘Because you’re an idiot.’, Ben snorted.

Connix appeared out of nowhere, startling them all by sliding behind Poe’s chair and wrapping her arms around his neck, speaking very strongly into his ear.

‘Stop being a downer, Dameron, and come dance with me.’

Poe, looking wide eyed and surprised, muttered an unconvinced ‘Yes, ma’am.’ But he was quick to get off the chair and wrap his hands around Connix, spinning her around the air a few times, smiling fondly at the way she laughed delightedly.

‘Has she always been that authoritative?’, Rey asked in a whisper.

‘Just with him.’, Ben raised a pointed eyebrow and she realized that she had really been too focused on her own drama in the past months, considering she had not noticed it.

‘If you’re tired’, he said gently, ‘we can-’

‘Not yet.’, Rey shook her head. ‘Not yet, I’m having fun.’

‘Alright. Do you wish to dance?’, he didn’t seem too excited about the prospect.

It made her snicker. ‘I really don’t know how to dance. You can teach me later.’

Ben wasn’t excited about that prospect, either, but he was willing to do it, for her. Rey kissed him then, kind of, even if she couldn’t really stop grinning.

/∆\

They were the last ones standing outside, and Ben seemed content to let her stay for as long as she wanted. While the lake was breathtakingly beautiful and the night was warm, there will be other nights for sightseeing, she was sure of it.

So she grabbed Ben’s hand and smiled up at him. ‘Where are we sleeping?’

‘There’s a room prepared for you in -’

He stopped talking when he noticed the glare she was sending his way. There was no way Rey was willing to sleep away from him, not tonight, not ever again if she got her way.

Ben smiled, taking a deep breath before answering softly. ‘The guest rooms are at the bottom level, but my old bedroom is upstairs. The caretakers thought I was going to take the master bedroom, but I…’, he shook his head. ‘I couldn’t.’

Needing to stray him away from dark thoughts, Rey giggled. ‘Is that where you hid your baby pictures?’

‘Yes.’, he said very seriously. ‘Nobody _dares_ go in there without my permission.’

‘Fine.’, she said after a beat. ‘Show me your bedroom, then?’

With a nod, Ben led the way, BB-9 following them obediently. Once again, Rey found her breath caught because of the beauty of the building. It wasn’t as opulent as the house they met the Queen in last time they were on Naboo, but it was, as Finn said, filled with trinkets. Every single decorating item in the house seemed to have come from a different part of the galaxy and while the result was a little overwhelming, the parts created a cohesive whole.

Ben’s old bedroom wasn’t like that. The walls were painted in a muted shade of yellow and everything else was made out of sturdy wood, a warm shade of brown. The large bed had a simply decorated canopy, a trunk at its end and two matching nightstands. There was a heavy desk, completely covered in books, and a proper bookcase, messily filled to the brim. Underneath the fairly large window there was a nook, with a plush seat and a few yellow and orange small pillows. Every single piece of furniture looked like it was ancient, but it didn’t take away from its beauty.

There was a set of drawers, on top of which Rey noticed her lightsaber next to his crossguard, and Ben explained that Rose had had enough piece of mind to grab it. She had also packed up everything that Rey had in her room at the Resistance base, and Ben gestured to the trunk at the end of the bed.

She grinned at that. ‘I thought you said there was another room ready for me.’

Of course, he didn’t answer. He blushed and pouted, and headed into the fresher to get dressed for bed.

Looking down at her clothes in the trunk, Rey thought that it was ridiculous, wasting time choosing what to wear when it was all going to come off soon enough. Still, she didn’t want to completely freak out Ben, so she grabbed a pair of underwear and a fitted white shirt.

Then she kneeled on the floor and leveled BB-9 with a look, whispering so that Ben wouldn’t hear.

‘What do I have to do to get you to spend tonight someplace else?’

The droid’s dome moved a few times, from her to the door of the fresher, clearly thinking about it.

_You have to give Master Ben a good enough reason for my disappearance._

Rey grinned. She also kissed the top of BB-9’s dome, thanking it sweetly.

 _You owe me, Sunshine_ , the droid managed to sound smug. _But have fun_.

As much as she loved the BBs, Rey did realize that the droids were too cheeky and involved in the lives of their humans. Ben, of course, asked about BB-9 as soon as he was back in the room.

‘Oh, I sent BB-9 out on a very important mission. Classified, top secret. Can’t tell you.’

She ignored Ben’s incredulous questions and hurried to the fresher.

The water was hot and it soothed Rey’s body, making her muscles relax. She didn’t linger too much, drying herself and quickly putting on the clothes she had gathered. There was a full length mirror on the back of the door, which was odd, but Rey found herself staring in it.

She didn’t see anything surprising, anything new. Well, the crystal pendant sitting on her chest was new, but it felt like its place had always been there. Her body was as it always was, lean and strong. Even if she was showing a lot more skin than she usually did, even if there was a new rugged scar on her hip, an older one on her upper arm, a few stray bruises still healing, even if her still wet hair was out of its usual buns, Rey didn’t feel uncomfortable.

The thought of Ben seeing her like this, vulnerable and relaxed, the thought of him seeing more of her, all of her, it didn’t make her feel uncomfortable. It made her feel happy, excited, _giddy_.

How long have they been on the path to this night? Probably longer than either of them were aware of. After everything they’ve been through together, this shouldn’t be important. And it wasn’t, not really, they have shared much more important moments in the past months.

But that didn’t mean that Rey didn’t want it to happen with all of her heart and body. She pushed her hair behind her ears, she smiled at herself in the mirror, and she walked out of the fresher.

/∆\

Ben was already lying in bed, on top of the covers. He was looking out the window, and it took a moment for him to turn around and look at her. When he did, his eyes grew wide and his mouth opened, a little.

Rey couldn’t help but feel smug and smirk in his direction. Still, she turned off the lights. There was still a little light coming through the large window, just enough so that she saw where she was going, enough to see that Ben’s eyes followed her as she made her way through the room.

She came to his side, took off her necklace and placed it on the nightstand, next to his. Then, without saying anything, Rey straddled his hips and sat on them, putting her hands on his chest to keep her balance. Ben’s hands went to her hips, instantly, but he was looking at her with wide, surprised eyes.

‘What are you doing?’

Rey smiled, fondly, down at him. ‘Do I really have to spell it out for you?’

‘You’re still hurt.’, he was quick to counter.

She shook her head. ‘The doctor said it was alright.’

He still looked concerned.

‘How about I make you a deal?’, she smirked. ‘I promise to tell you if my wound is hurting too much, and you promise to tell me if you wish to stop.’

Ben’s eyes softened at that, his fingers dug into Rey’s waist. ‘Are you sure?’

Rolling her eyes, she huffed. ‘Just kiss me already!’

With a fleeting expression of indignation, Ben grabbed a hold of the front of her shirt and pulled, forcing Rey to bend down. She didn’t fight it, kissed him instead. It was soft, at first, but she was quick to open her mouth and deepen the kiss.

For a while, they were relaxed and unhurried. Ben’s hands stayed on her hips, his thumbs moving gently against Rey’s shirt, and her hands were on his chest, her fingers tracing small patterns as well.

When Rey bit on his bottom lip, he hummed, moving a hand to push her hair away, so that he could reach and kiss her neck.

‘Did you send BB-9 away so that we could have sex?’, he whispered against her skin, making goosebumps appear on it.

‘Are you complaining?’, she countered sarcastically, pairing it with a languid roll of her hips.

He faltered at that, for a second. But then there were hands on her ass, and teeth sinking into her neck. So Rey did not stop the movement of her hips. She didn’t feel the need to hurry, not even when Ben kissed her faster, or when he pushed his fingers under her shirt and grabbed at her flesh.

Ben had definitely learned from the first night they have spent together, because the way he moved, his tongue against hers and his hands over her body, it was definitely working for Rey. She felt warm, the shirt clinging to the skin it touched, her hair felt uncomfortable against her neck.

And she felt very warm between her legs, hips still rolling somewhat gently against Ben’s growing erection. It was not unbearable, not yet, not for Rey, at least. Ben seemed pretty desperate, already. She had no desire to stop him, so when his hips jerked upward, Rey pressed down harder, making an absolutely delicious moan rip out from his throat.

Two harsh movements later, Ben whispered her name against her neck.

‘You need to stop’, he said even as his hips were still moving under hers, ‘or this is going to end really fast.’

With a deep breath, Rey did stop. She straightened herself up and moved lower on his body, until she sat on Ben’s thighs. He was breathing very hard, his eyes were wild and his lips were very shiny. He looked beautifully debauched and Rey felt an urgent need to kiss him.

So grabbing onto his shirt, she pulled until he was sitting up. Ben managed to keep himself up while still holding onto her, his hands placed gently on her thighs. Rey kissed him, slowly and unhurried, for a long while. She played with his hair, pushed her fingers under the collar of his shirt, kissed his cheeks and his neck, bumped her nose into his and goofed around, making him smile.

Rey didn’t remember all of her first time, but she remembered some. It wasn’t a good experience, it was rushed and awkward, more of a means to an end than something worth remembering. There was no love, and when it was over, she felt worse than before it started.

She didn’t want it to be like that for Ben, she wanted it to be something worth remembering years and years from now. She wanted him to feel good, to feel comfortable with her and she wanted him to feel loved. That last part was not going to be hard to accomplish, and for the rest, Rey was more than willing to let him set the pace.

So when Ben grabbed at her hips tightly and pushed her off of him, Rey only yelped a little. But he was quick to roll on top of her, settling with his hardness between her legs, making both of their breath catch. Rey wrapped her legs around his waist, and he liked that.

They kissed some more, with Ben running his hands over her breasts, with Rey’s fingers trailing lines on his back. He was the one to take off his shirt, straightening up and throwing it across the room. It must have hit the desk, because Rey heard the distinct sound of books hitting the floor.

It made her giggle like a child, and it was only mildly embarrassing, because Ben only shrugged, completely unperturbed, before very gently helping her out of her shirt. He didn’t throw it, more like he let it fall to the ground, and it made Rey giggle again.

He chased it away with a kiss, that grew and grew and grew, until he was trembling on top of her, until his hips were jerking irregularly against hers. Her legs were holding him in a tight grip, her nails were digging into his back and breathing had become very difficult, so much so that Rey had to pull at his hair, just to be able to gulp some air.

‘Fuck.’, he whispered. ‘Fuck!’, he said louder, all but throwing himself off her and collapsing on the bed next to her.

‘It’s alright.’, she was quick to say. Rey turned on her side, grabbing his hand and kissing his shoulder. ‘It’s okay, we can stop.’

‘I don’t want to stop. I want more.’

He was blinking rapidly at the ceiling, but Ben was holding her fingers in a tight grip. There was no hesitation in his tone, though, he had said it loud and clear.

So Rey kissed his shoulder again, before letting go of his hand and taking her underwear off. She was completely naked now, and when she turned around, Ben was looking at her with incredulity and wonder.

Slowly, giving him time to stop her even if he didn’t, Rey took off his pants. Her eyes didn’t linger too much, knowing it would probably make him feel more uncomfortable. So she kissed him gently, feeling Ben relax immediately, hands coming up to her neck and hair. Still kissing him even if it took some work, she straddled his thighs again.

Rey touched his chest first, taking her time in dragging her fingers over his stomach. She was very gentle, as she took him into her hand, but it still made Ben gasp against her lips, that whispered, almost silent gasp that she found incredibly adorable.

As she started moving her hand up and down his length, Ben didn’t kiss her anymore. So Rey watched him, the way his eyes were closed tightly, wrinkles appearing on his skin, the way his mouth was slightly open, tongue peeking in the corner of it. She watched his chest, rising and falling rapidly, the scar on his shoulder and face, a part of him as much as she was. She also watched the part of him that she was holding firmly, liking the way her fingers looked around it.

‘Ben, look at me.’, she grabbed his cheek with her free hand, stopped moving the other.

His eyes opened, and there was hesitation in them. Just a little, beyond all the excitement and want, but it was still there.

‘Do you want me to stop?’

Ben shook his head firmly, eyes not once moving away from hers. She started moving her hand again.

‘Are you sure?’

‘I want you.’, he breathed out. ‘Desperately so. I’m just…’, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment. ‘I’m trying to control myself. Control this desperate want.’

So the hesitation wasn’t because he didn’t want to sleep with her, but more because he didn’t want to scare her. It had been a long while since he scared her, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

Rey smirked. ‘Don’t control it.’

Before he got to answer, she planted her knees firmly on either side of him and was quick to guide him inside of her. Lowering herself, she couldn’t do that as quickly, but Ben didn’t move. His hands were holding onto her waist very tightly, and he let out a few moans, but he never moved his hips, letting Rey settle fully onto him.

When she did, something happened. There was a surge of energy between them, making both of them inhale sharply and without a conscious thought, Rey’s mental walls were completely down, and she knew Ben’s were as well.

She didn’t even realize she had her walls up. She didn’t know Ben had his up. But now, there was a sense of relief spreading over them, and between them, a connection far deeper than that of skin on skin.

There was no hesitation in Ben’s eyes anymore, there was nothing except for want, hot and desperate.

 ** _Move_** , he said in her brain, and it wasn’t an order, exactly, but Rey was quick to obey.

She pushed her hands to his chest and she moved her hips, slowly at first. That didn’t last long, and it wasn’t just because of the way Ben was breathing harshly and moaning every now and then.

The Force, their connection… It did unexpected wonders. Rey wasn’t thinking about how she wanted him to put his hand right there, but he knew to do it. She wasn’t actively looking into Ben’s mind, but she knew he wanted her hips to move the other way.

Their movements weren’t harsh, but they were pointed. Because of their connection, there was no fumbling, no questioning, no mistakes. Quicker than Rey thought possible, her thighs were trembling, not because of exertion, but because of pleasure and she was biting on her lower lip to keep herself from screaming out loud. Ben was even more unhinged, a hand pressed to his mouth and the other digging bruises on her ass.

He moved his hand away from his face, and he didn’t say anything, but Rey knew what he needed anyway. So she moved her hands away from his chest, bending forward and resting her weight on her elbows, on either side of Ben. His fingers wrapped in her hair, keeping it out of the way as he kissed her desperately.

Rey let him take complete control. He set the pace of their kiss, he kept her in with his hands firmly on her neck, he was the only one who decided how fast he was moving his hips, how fast he was pounding in and out of her.

Ben was fast, with that, a little too fast for Rey, but nowhere near the point of pain. She felt _good_ , better than she had thought was possible in such a position, and the only reason she wasn’t moaning till her throat felt sore was because her lips were too busy with Ben’s.

But he did stop kissing her, not long after, as the movements of his hips lost their clockwork tenacity. Rey was able to move her head, far enough to see him. See the way he shut his eyes tightly, see the way his lips formed her name as his hips froze. Ben came, saying her name over and over again between curse words, with Rey’s lips pressed to his jaw.

As strong as the Force exploded between them in that moment, as quickly it dwelled out.

It took a few long moments, for Ben’s body to relax and for him to open his eyes. She was grinning by that point, and she had to kiss him right then, assuring him that everything was alright. After, Rey gently got off of him and headed to the fresher, cleaning up quickly.

He hadn’t put his clothes back on by the time she returned to the bedroom, so she didn’t either. Once she was on the bed, Rey pushed her back to Ben’s body and he was quick to understand, turning on his side and wrapping a hand around her waist to pull himself closer.

Ben kissed her shoulder twice, ran his tongue over the spot once, and gently scratched her stomach.

‘We’re not done here.’ He said it in a whisper, but with so much strength and certainty, it made Rey’s toes curl.

‘Turn onto your back.’

Rey was quick to oblige. ‘Ben, you don’t have to-’

He cut her off with a kiss, violent in nature, and with his hand moving down her stomach, between her legs. Ben was surprisingly quick, to figure out where he needed to push for the maximum effect, and when he did press on her most sensitive area, Rey moaned against his lips. He smirked, slightly, and that… she had seen that before.

‘This is familiar.’

Ben froze, taking a moment before looking at her. ‘Do you mind?’

‘I really don’t.’, her answer came out breathlessly, as she pressed her thighs together, hoping to get him to move his fingers.

He didn’t, smirking instead. ‘You’re right. We both know this.’

Ben took his fingers away and Rey whined at the loss. It made him smile wildly. Thankfully, he moved, kissing her again as he settled himself between her legs, their hips not touching. The kiss was slow, unlike before, and closed mouthed, and it didn’t last long.

He moved his kisses down her neck, to her chest. He spent a while there, giving attention to her breasts with his tongue and his teeth. Rey was enjoying it, in a surprising way, and she kept her fingers in Ben’s hair, but after a while, he moved again.

Lower on her body, to the scar. He kissed every inch of it, unbelievably gently, making a different kind of warmth spread from her heart. She loved him just a little more in that moment, for exhibiting gentleness in a moment that was anything but.

He went on, down her stomach and lower still. When he was close to where Rey wished he’d stop, Ben looked up at her, with that mischievous spark in his eyes that made her insides melt. Her hands started trembling, inexplicably so, and Rey drew them away from his hair in favor of clutching at the sheet beneath her.

He hummed, clearly pleased with himself, and put one of his hands under her knee. She bent it, planting her foot on the bed, and Ben kissed her inner thigh, sucking on the skin not at all gently. There was no doubt in her mind that she’ll have a bruise there. She wanted more.

Ben must have been in her mind, because he moved quickly, pushing his lips to where his fingers were a few minutes before. He placed a kiss right there, surprising Rey so much, she let her head fall back onto the bed, a strangled moan escaping her lips.

It was like nothing Rey had ever felt before. It was good, surprisingly so, especially when Ben started using his tongue.

‘Oh gods!’, came out of her mouth, making Ben suck on the sensitive skin under his lips.

Rey saw stars, feeling every nerve ending in her body explode. She cursed again, in Huttese, maybe, and Ben went back to using his tongue and lips, but he also added his fingers to the mix, exploring quickly before pushing two of them inside of her.

He picked up the pace, moving quicker, ruthlessly inside of her, on her. Rey’s back arched off the bed, and her hips would have too if Ben wasn’t pushing on her stomach with his other hand.

She moaned his name, desperately so, because she was so close, so very close. Ben pushed another finger inside, and it made her moan again, moan continually, she couldn’t stop.

Ben’s fingers curled on her stomach, and somehow, he pushed his tongue harder down onto Rey, moving it even quicker than before.

She came with a silent scream, her back off the bed and eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Ben didn’t stop, not until Rey asked him to. She was still panting, as he was licking his fingers clean, and for reasons she couldn’t really explain, the sight of that made her breath catch. He noticed it, and raised an eyebrow, looking smug.

‘Get up here’, Rey breathed out, ‘and kiss me.’

‘As you wish.’, he smirked, but it was gone when their lips met. Her hands came up to his hair again, and his fingers were almost playing with her breasts. As Ben deepened the kiss, she pushed her body until she was touching his.

He was getting hard again and Rey found that she wasn’t tired enough to sleep yet.

‘This night was supposed to be for you.’, she admitted to him.

‘Oh trust me, I’m being incredibly selfish.’ He kissed her neck. ‘Everything I’m doing’, her collarbone, ‘is only’, between her breasts, ‘for my benefit.’ Ben pushed his cheek to the space between her breasts, seemingly content to just stay like that, with Rey running her fingers through his hair.

‘I have a question.’, she said after a while. ‘It’s been bugging me.’

‘Of course you do.’, he sounded amused.

‘These dreams that we’ve had. Were they mine or yours?’

He lifted his head at that, looking at her briefly before looking away in embarrassment. ‘Mine, I think.’

Considering where his head was five minutes ago, Rey didn’t understand his embarrassment, and she certainly didn’t share it. She was actually feeling delighted, so she grinned at him.

‘You wanna go against the wall?’

Ben rolled his eyes. ‘We don’t need to-’

‘Oh, but I want to. And you want to.’ As she said it, she wrapped her fingers around the evident proof. He groaned, pushing his head into the crook of her neck, but it didn’t make her stop.

‘The things you do to me-’

‘Seem to be very much possible.’, Rey cut him off.

Ben kind of choked on a surprised laugh that was music to her ears. He pushed himself away from Rey, though, getting up from the bed altogether.

‘Where are you going?’, she couldn’t keep the whine out of her voice.

‘Not far.’

He stopped at the foot of the bed, eyes sparkling in mischief, and using a knee on the bed to steady himself, Ben grabbed a hold of her ankles. He pulled her body straight to the edge, and Rey made a very undignified sound, as she was left sprawled ungracefully, with her knees bent at an awkward angle and her hands sprawled on either sides of her head. It made him chuckle.

But then he guided her legs around his waist, pushing a hand underneath her back. Rey understood what he wanted, so she held onto his shoulders, as Ben straightened himself up and took her with him.

His erection brushed against her ass, and he groaned, kissing her quickly, not moving his hips away. They were moving across the room, Ben having no issue holding up Rey’s entire weight, while kissing her senseless.

 ** _Are you really taking me to a wall?_** , she asked in his mind, incredulity clear.

Ben’s hands tightened their hold on her. **_Not quite_** _._

It took a while for Rey to realize that they were heading for the fresher. Even if they were feet away, the door opened, the lights inside turned on and she could hear the water running. She had to give it to him, Ben’s control over the Force was amazing. In that moment, she wouldn’t have been able to lift a pebble.

He stumbled a little, getting into the fresher booth and arranging them. Rey’s back hit a wall and Ben pushed his body fully to hers, until his hardness was pressed right between her legs. She had no water falling on her, but Ben did, barely lukewarm, wetting his hair and back, making her hands feel slippery against his skin.

It didn’t matter, not when his lips on hers were demanding, his hands holding tightly onto her skin and his hips moving, somewhat gently against hers.

And it wasn’t like before, Rey couldn’t feel the Force around them, she didn’t know what he wanted, what he was feeling. She had no idea about anything, nothing except for the press of his skin against her, the way he tasted and the desperate need she felt deep in her core, stronger than before.

‘The things you do to me’, he all but growled against her lips, ‘don’t stop, don’t ever stop.’

Rey cursed, bringing one of her hands between them. Even if she wouldn’t have thought herself able to go again so quickly, she needed him inside of her. Grabbing onto him, she guided Ben to her entrance, gasping when she felt him there, but letting go, letting him take control again.

She was able to see him this time, see him properly, the lights bright in the fresher. He looked like someone out of a fairytale, like a dark Prince Charming that had come to save her and ruin her completely. As Ben guided himself inside of Rey, slowly, torturously so, they locked eyes. Desperation, exaltation and love mirrored between them, and it was a truly glorious thing.

As Ben bottomed out, he said her name in a very lowered voice.

‘Yes.’, was all she could say, grabbing his cheeks and bringing his lips to hers. ‘Yes, come on.’

He started moving, slowly in an out of her, a languid drag of flesh that was different than before. As desperate as she had been a moment ago, as amazing she felt now, surprisingly so. Ben was kissing her softly, close mouthed, as his fingers loosened their hold on her bottom, moving to her hips to keep her up.

Inside of her, it felt like a caress. Everything was soft around Rey, calm and unhurried, but she felt it a thousand times stronger than before. She was losing herself completely in Ben’s arms, losing herself to him, slowly but surely, and it was a surprising sort of pleasure, in its vigor and the way it made her feel.

As gentle as he was with her now, it affected her terribly. Even if her lips were still pressed to Ben’s, Rey swore, a surprising amount, in languages that did not sound like Basic, completely unable to control herself. She moaned as well, loud, louder than the sound of water hitting the tiles, and she moaned his name, desperately and pleading.

It didn’t make Ben hurry, he was constant in his gentleness and passion, kissing her lips sweetly and smiling every time she cursed.

Rey’s orgasm surprised her completely. She came just by the feeling of him inside her, touched only by his lips on hers and his hands on her hips. She came screaming violently, a complete contrast to his current behavior, Rey cursing and calling his name, her legs trembling, every muscle in her body clenching.

Ben enjoyed it terribly, judging by his pleased smile. He slowly pulled out and lowered her legs to the floor, but kept his hands on her waist, keeping her up when it became clear that her knees were shaking.

He grabbed her cheeks, pressing quick kisses to her lips as she came down from her high.

‘I don’t know half of the languages you spoke in.’, he seemed terribly amused by this.

She stared at him, completely unaware of what she had said, which languages she spoke.

Ben raised a cocky eyebrow. ‘Don’t go silent on me now.’

‘As you wish.’, came her prompt response, paired with a hand pushing at his chest. He went easily, surprised, but let his back hit the opposite wall without any argument.

She wasted no time, falling to her knees in front of him, wrapping her fingers around the base of his hardness and her lips around the tip. There was water falling on her now, on the crown of her head and her back, but Rey completely ignored it in favor of tasting Ben.

The way he said her name, a broken yelp of surprise, it made her hum, very pleased. He had said he didn’t want her to be silent, so as she worked, Rey made sure to make as much noise as possible.

She took him in her mouth as deeply as she could, holding him there for a few seconds, not concealing the way it choked her, but fighting against it. He put a hand on her head, in her hair. He didn’t pull and he didn’t push, just leaving his fingers there. Rey looked up, and he looked like a god, towering over her, keeping her in place with a benevolent hand, looking down at her with a fire in his eyes.

‘I’m close.’, Ben breathed out.

Slowly, keeping her eyes up on him, Rey freed her mouth. ‘Good.’ was all she said, before she took the tip into her mouth again, lapping at it with her tongue. She started moving her hand up and down the length of him, not too fast but not too slow either, and it seemed to be working, judging by the way his thighs shook.

He tightened his hold on her hair, so Rey kept her head in place, his erection warm against her tongue. But Ben didn’t move his hips, so she kept up the pace of her hand, and learned what he liked by the way his breath hitched.

When he said **I’m very close** in her mind, Rey pulled off of him with a slow drag of her lips and a filthy wet sound. She didn’t move away, keeping him close to her mouth, but not quite touching. She increased the speed of her hand, barely, focusing her grip at the tip of him.

His eyes were wide, unblinking and his mouth was open, panting slightly.

‘What do you need?’, she asked kindly, but Ben didn’t answer, he just shook his head.

So she took him into her mouth again, but not for long. She alternated between sucking at the tip and dragging her tongue over his length, but kept moving her hand in a rapid pace.

Ben said her name in a somewhat alarmed tone, and she pulled back completely off of him, her hand working as he moaned very loudly. He came on the very corner of her lips and on her chest, Rey shivering because of the warmth she suddenly had on her body.

He stared, as she worked him completely through his orgasm, and he asked her to let go in her mind. She did, getting off of the floor and straightening up. The come on her lips was distracting, so Rey licked it away, making his eyes fall down to her lips.

But Ben didn’t say anything, still catching his breath. So Rey turned around, letting the water hit the front of her body, cleaning herself up quickly. Turning back to Ben, she kissed him gently, smiling against his lips.

‘Don’t stay too long, I’m getting sleepy.’

He nodded, easily, so Rey stepped out of the fresher, barely taking the time to dry herself before heading to bed.

/∆\

Ben sprawled his upper body on top of hers, cheek settling between her breasts again, her hands instantly coming up to his hair.

‘Are you alright?’, she whispered.

He nodded quickly. ‘I’m still in disbelief that it happened.’

She raised an incredulous eyebrow at that, because it _did_ happen, and he had felt it, quite strongly, she thought.

‘In disbelief that we are somewhere and sometime when it _could_ happen.’, he explained, and that, Rey understood that.

‘What’s going to happen next?’, she couldn’t help but ask. ‘We stay here?’

‘For a while.’, he sighed. ‘We’re going to have to go to Coruscant, once a council is formed. We’ll all have to debrief them on what happened, and there will be trials and… a lot of politics that we can’t get out of.’

She had figured that much.

‘Han had an apartment there.’, he went on in a softer voice. ‘I’m sure it will need a thorough cleanup, but we can handle it.’

Rey loved that he didn’t ask her to stay with him, he just knew that she will. Ben got himself kissed sweetly for that.

‘And after that?’, she whispered against his lips.

Ben shrugged. ‘I don’t know, but we don’t need to figure it out now.’

Rey accepted it. As he had told Poe that night, there was still a lot of work to do, before they could all start thinking about what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and where to do it. After growing up in a place like Jakku, knowing every inch of it and thinking she will never leave it, she embraced this type of uncertainty, especially knowing that whatever will come next, Ben will be at her side.

‘I love you.’, he whispered it very, very gently, Rey had barely heard him.

‘I don’t know if we were supposed to fall in love with each other’, she admitted, ‘but I’m very glad that we did.’

He smiled, Rey felt his lips moving against her skin, but didn’t say anything. She kept quiet as well, her long day finally catching up with her. Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard a hesitant beep from the other side of the door.

Ben looked at her, question clear. Rey nodded easily, and as he got out of bed and pulled his pants on, she brought her underwear and shirt to her as well, putting them on and getting under the covers, just as he opened the door for BB-9.

‘What is it, ball?’

_I’m sorry, Master Ben, I really am. I was talking to BB-8 and Poe found us and he yelled at us and took BB-8 away. You wanted to have fun with Sunshine, and I’m sorry, but can I sleep with you?_

By the end of the rant, Ben looked like he ate a bucket of sugar, he didn’t even try to fake annoyance.

‘Why did Poe yell at you?’, Rey felt the need to ask.

BB-9 lowered its dome, somewhat ashamed. _Because we were planning to lock him and Connix inside a closet._

Ben struggled really hard not to laugh out loud at that.

‘You BBs are too involved in the love lives of your friends.’, Rey did her best to sound stern. ‘I know you care for them and want them to be happy, but you shouldn’t meddle so much, let your friends figure things out at their own pace.’

The droid looked between her and Ben a few times. _It worked for you_.

That shut her up.

‘It would have worked even without your help.’, Ben pointed out, completely certain. ‘You can stay here, if you promise to stop messing with Connix and Poe.’

It took a few moments, but BB-9 beeped its acceptance, before it happily pushed its dome to Ben’s shins.

He let the droid cuddle up to him for a while, but after that he gently told it to go to sleep. Ben got into bed behind her, pressing his chest to her back and wrapping an arm around her waist.

Rey didn’t even know she was able to feel this happy, hold so much love in her heart for a single person. The road behind them was painful, and while she wished it was a different one, she did not wish to change the outcome, not now and not ever. She will never want to fall asleep anywhere else than in Ben’s arms, each night, for as long as the Force granted them breath.

Judging by the way Ben tightened his hold on her, he shared the sentiment.

/∆\

Rey woke up feeling cold. The window was open, letting in fresh air and a small chill that traveled from the lake, and the bed was empty. Ben had left a note on the nightstand, saying he had been summoned to meet with the Queen and that he took BB-9 with him.

It was too early in the morning, Rey doubted anyone else would be awake, but that didn’t stop her from getting dressed and making her way through the house. There was indeed no one, except for a caretaker who politely asked if she needed anything and was quick to leave her alone after her dismissal.

Her legs took her to the terrace they partied on last night, and she found BB-8 there, who was quick to greet her and ask, very concerned, if BB-9 was okay.

After assuring the droid that its friend was alright, Rey sat herself on the cool tiles, leaning her back against the house. She could see the lake through the gaps in the terrace’s stone fence, and she felt the sun on her skin, a small breeze against her hair.

BB-8 made a questioning sound, but Rey just smiled at it.

‘Come on.’, she opened up her legs. ‘Watch the world with me.’

Obediently, the droid settled itself between her legs, turning its visor away from her, to the lake. Rey wrapped her arms around BB-8, resting her chin on top of its dome and for a while, they were silent, just watching the beautiful scenery in front of them.

‘You know, this all started with you.’, Rey said gently.

_What started?_

‘My… my journey. I wouldn’t be anywhere near here if it weren’t for you. If you hadn’t found me when you did, I’d still be all alone on Jakku now.’

 _I found you, but you took care of me._ , BB-8 argued. _You and Finn both._

‘Yes, you’re right. But you still had a very big role to play in my story.’

The droid preened at that, a little. _Is it a good story?_

The smile fell off Rey’s face. ‘No, it’s not a good story. Or, at least, not at the start. But it’s been getting better. And I have a feeling it will keep getting better.’

 _Me too!_ , came the prompt response. _Darth Boy and BB-9 will make sure your story will keep getting better and better, and you’ll smile more and more!_

Her heart warmed at the thought, knowing it was true.

 _Not just them_ , the droid went on. _All your friends too! But you have to do the same for them._

‘Of course I will.’, there was no hesitation. ‘After all we’ve been through together, I think we’re going to live the rest of our lives helping each other.’

_Yes! Long long long long long long lives! Together!_

It sounded perfect, to Rey. Absolutely perfect.

/∆\

As their friends started waking up, they all made their way to the terrace, bringing food and drinks. Rey and BB-8 didn’t move from their position.

Rose took one look at her and somehow understood what had happened the night before, because she winked at Rey and, mindful of the fact that Finn was by her side, settled to just mouth ‘Finally!’ at her.

Vega sat down next to Rey, silently eating her breakfast while listening to the ridiculous story Mally was telling on the other side of the terrace, to Raf and Dalo.

Connix came out with a bounce in her step, sweetly wishing them all a good morning before she took her breakfast and hopped up on the terrace fence.

Poe was the last to make his way out of the house, and he was clearly hungover, scrunching up his face against the light before frowning at Rey.

‘Is there a reason why you’re cuddling my droid?’

‘Yes.’

He blinked a few times. ‘Aren’t you going to tell me?’

‘No.’, she smiled.

 _Are you jealous?_ , BB-8 seemed delighted by the concept.

‘Well, yeah. She should get her own droid to cuddle with.’

BB-8 turned to look at Rey, saying a very soft _Please?_. She nodded, letting go, and the droid beeped excitedly as it settled between Poe’s legs and got a few belly rubs.

She felt Ben approaching long before he actually appeared on the terrace. He bent down to give her a quick kiss, a clear apology for not being there when she woke up. He also got them food, sitting on Rey’s other side, while BB-9 whirled its way to BB-8, clearly excited to talk about what happened in the meeting with the Queen.

‘What did Queen Dor want?’

Ben huffed. ‘To deliver a package.’

She frowned at that.

‘Wait for it.’, was his response, to which she frowned some more. ‘Wait for it’, he said again, before he started counting down on his fingers. When there was only one finger left to count, a roar made its way onto the terrace, startling everyone except for Ben and BB-9.

 _Kids!_ , Chewie growled. _Why are you still on land?_

‘There should be bathing apparel in your dressers.’, Ben easily piped up, making everyone turn to him.

‘If you don’t go and put it on’, he went on to explain, ‘be sure that Chewie will dump each and every one of you in the lake with your clothes still on.’

 _You have 10 minutes_ , the Wookiee growled, making his way to the side of the terrace, to the stairs that led down to the lakeshore.

/∆\

20 minutes later, Rey was in the water, surrounded by her friends, by her own personal Resistance, her saviors, splashing around like a child and feeling lighter than she had ever felt in her life.

There was a pair of strong arms wrapping around her waist, and she recognized them, of course she did. So even if the hands were pulling her underwater, Rey didn’t worry and she didn’t fight it.

Once she was fully under the warm water, she turned around in Ben’s arms, grabbing onto him with her arms and legs. He pressed his lips to hers, speaking in her mind.

**_It’s not possible, all the love I have for you._ **

She smiled at that. **_Haven’t you learned by now? Together, we can do anything_** _._

/∆\

When they came up to the surface, everyone was laughing at them.

‘You were down there for a while.’, Poe explained. ‘BB-9 thought you died.’

‘Almost anything.’, Rey turned to Ben. ‘ _Almost_ antyhing,’

His laugh was loud and beautiful, and till the day she will give her final breath, Rey knew it was going to be her favorite thing in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much. Your support, your comments, your kudos, watching you all fall in love with BB-9, it means the world to me. Thank you so very much for sticking around with me for this fic, and I hope the ending pleased you :)).   
> Hugs and kisses, from me and **[my BB-9](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3183ac9dcac833c07cdfe253b5cca4a5/tumblr_p3u5cmtxkM1qgapqso1_1280.jpg)**.


End file.
